(FADEIN: The San Diego Zoo, early in the day before RAUCOUS. Marx and Jacobs are standing by the railing looking into the Panda den, the mother is sitting in the corner eating some bamboo while the baby is playing on a branch of the tree in the exhibit.)
VOICE: "Well, now if those two aren't just the cutest little things."
MARX: "Hey, I think someone is talking about us."
JACOBS: "One of them looks familiar; I am not sure who the other one is... OH MY GOD! That is Karla Starr from the Island . I hope she isn't here looking for revenge."
MARX: "We have to protect the panda youth from the violence that is about to unfold. He is still at an impressionable age."
JACOBS: "I'd never hit a woman."
MARX: "I never said you would. Do you think we should get out of here before you get your butt kicked? We don't want another Lindsay Troy incident."
JACOBS: "Let’s try to quietly sneak out without them seeing us."
STARR: (To her friend) "You know, it's been quite awhile since I've been to the Zoo. Survivor, to be in fact."
VOICE: "If it weren’t for Cammy's schedule in EPW, I could've been here a few times by now.... but that boy does have the knack for working a schedule. Even if it is with Joey Melton."
(Turning a corner is none other than Mercedes Devon, popcorn in one hand, twirling a bit of her hair in another checking out the monkeys; Karla notices a familiar twosome around the Panda cages.)
STARR: "Wait a second... that couldn't be...."
MERCEDES: "If it isn't "Laurel and Hardy" (motioning towards JACOBS and MARX.)"
JACOBS: (realizing he is caught) "Karla, I am glad to see you, it has been way too long. You were always one of my favorites on the island. What a blessed day this is. Who is this beautiful young woman with you?"
STARR: "Brandon Jacobs. I always thought you to be an animal, but I never thought they actually had you CAGED(Karla smiles). I guess you're slicker than I thought you were on the island....."
MERCEDES: "AHEM!! This beautiful young woman is still married Brandon, but I'll take the compliment none the less. At least SOMEONE here is a GENTLEMAN."
MARX: "OH, you are Cameron Cruise's other wife... it is a pleasure to meet you. For what it is worth, Beau doesn't hold a candle to you."
JACOBS: "I don't know, Beau is quite attractive, but it is at least close."
MERCEDES: "Not a second late, your timing holds true Jonathan. But give Beau credit.... he does find a way to get the stains out of Joey's shorts. How he does it... well.... that will STAY a mystery."
STARR: "Yeah, yeah, yeah.... so what the hell are the two of you here for anyway?"
JACOBS: "Marx and I have regular passes to the zoo and when the opportunity arises, we just hop in the jet to come out here to relax as card carrying members of the W.W.F."
MARX: "We love the Pandas."
JACOBS: "The peaceful member of the bear family..."
STARR: "So that means you can see you're father more often then not I see? Well.... if it weren't for the cages...."
(Karla gets cutoff by Mercedes, who is still twirling her hair.)
MERCEDES: "Indeed, I see that. But how often can someone really hang out at the Zoo without it being held accounted for as ‘Loitering?’"
JACOBS: "There is only a one percent difference between us and Rabesque so we decided to come and see the monkeys in person."
MARX: "Evil French monkeys..."
JACOBS: "We have been here quiet a while, we were just about to head out before we had the good fortune of meeting you two."
MERCEDES: "Rabesque? As in the Canadian, Jean Rabesque?"
MARX: "If he is Canadian, than I am a monkey’s uncle. Canadians aren't as rude as Rabesque is towards people. He must secretly be French or at least French Canadian."
JACOBS: "Annoying closet Frenchies... he should just come out with his white flag and admit it."
STARR: "Cam 's had problems with Rabesque in the past.... but why all of a sudden go after him? Have you not had time enough in NFW?"
MARX: "I have already beaten him twice in NFW, but New ERA is a whole new frontier. My own negligence let him march right in and steal that title away from Tact when I was busy in my own matters."
STARR: "So, you're more in favor of having Tact as Champion right now, is that it?"
MARX: "Tact brought pride to this league as our first champion and his technical prowess and professionalism is a model for anyone to behold. He is one of the wrestlers that I most respect in all of wrestling today. It is a shame to lose someone who represents so much of what Marxism stands for."
MERCEDES: "So, if that's the case, what gives you the idea to team with that John Doe kid? What about 'Arco Iris? Or that other kid.... the Television champion, Alex Borden?"
MARX: "Doe has a lot of potential. He reminds me of a young Sean Edmunds. El Arco Iris loves wrestling and he is the incarnation of everything good in the world. Borden I could care less about."
JACOBS: "You know Karla; you should team up with us and knock Rabesque down a peg. We could offer our help to in your pursuit of the Women’s Championship."
(Mercedes cuts her off, as well as throwing out the rest of her popcorn in the trash bin nearby.)
MERCEDES: "So you're gonna team with Doe to start a mission solely based on taking out Jean Rabesque?"
MARX: "Basically. But if we don't stop Rabesque, the evil doers win so we are bent on his destruction for the sake of the league before the cancer spreads."
MERCEDES: "Interesting. Karla, you've got a match here soon right?"
MERCEDES: "Then I don't think it could be too much to ask a Gentleman for an extra ticket backstage to meet with you guys then? I'd like to see this for myself in person."
MARX: (reaches into his pocket and takes out a ticket) "Anything I can do for a lady, just tell them Jonathan sent you and they will let you right in."
MERCEDES: "Well thank you, I guess there is chivalry outside my husband. Even if it has a Motel Six tagline attached."
JACOBS: "We will leave the light on for you."
MARX: "It was good meeting you all."
STARR: "Don't flatter yourself, Jacobs....."
MERCEDES: "As it was, you."
(Mercedes walks forward, a peck on each cheek, with a gentle hug. Starr sneers but is shocked when Jacobs does the same to her.)
MERCEDES: "We'll be seeing you."
STARR: "Eww... I think I actually have cooties (wiping off her face with her hands)."
MARX: (aside to Brandon ) "I think that went well."
JACOBS: "I am still alive, so all is good. Let’s get out of here so I can wash off these monkey germs."
MERCEDES: (aside to Karla) "Nice seeing Jonathan in a different way other than what Cam says."
(FADETO: Black. The World Heavyweight Title slowly fades into the picture. Being "burned" through the gold, in a nod to Lord of the Rings, are the following phrases..)
ONE MAN’S DESTINY
CLASHES WITH ONE MAN’S CHANCE
TO RECTIFY HIS DOMINANCE OVER ALL
(The burning of the words eventually begin to spread through the entire creases in the gold until the belt is burning up … as it slowly disintegrates the logo for RAUCOUS is uncovered until it takes precedence on the screen. CUEUP: ‘Who Said’ by Planet Funk.)
(CUTTO: Inside the iPayOne Center as the fans in attendance are on their feet and holding signs. CUTTO: The camera scans the crowd catching some of the signs. CUTTO: A sign that says "KNOCK OUT MRS. APPLEBEE!" CUTTO: Another sign that says "KRIST BLUE IS A GODDESS." CUTTO: One final sign, "CHAOS 3, RABESQUADOR 0!" CUTTO: Ringside with Tom Gheorghe and Nick Jive as ‘Who Said’ slowly fades.)
GHEORGHE: "And that may very well be the case tonight, Nick, as the World Heavyweight title is on the line! But what about what happened earlier on today … as Jonathan Marx and Brandon Jacobs extended an invitation to Karla Starr to join DREDD and try to eliminate Jean Rabesque?!"
JIVE: "DREDD is trying to solidify support … although I don’t think they’ll need anymore help than what they’ll get from Chaos! Chaos is going to rip the World Heavyweight Championship out of Jean Rabesque’s hands just like he did the Television Championship! Just think about it, Tom! Chaos defeated Rabesque for the Television Championship just about the same time before Destrucity … and now, only a few weeks away from BattleBRAWL, he has another chance to do it again … except this time for the biggest prize in all of New ERA!"
GHEORGHE: "Welcome everyone to the iPayOne Center in San Diego, California … this is New ERA of Wrestling …… AND THIS IS RAUCOUS!"
JIVE: "I absolutely LOVE San Diego, Tom."
GHEORGHE: "It is a beautiful city."
JIVE: "I mean .. the weather is perfect … the food is great … and the women ….. are just FANTASTIC!"
GHEORGHE: "Like you would know."
JIVE: "I’d like you to know that I met a few fine ladies so far …."
GHEORGHE: "Opening doors for old ladies doesn’t count, Nick."
JIVE: "SHUT UP! I wasn’t talking about that!"
GHEORGHE: "Ladies and gentlemen we have an ACTION PACKED show here tonight as we are just a few weeks away from New ERA’s second PAY PER VIEW ….. New ERA BattleBRAWL!"
JIVE: "The more I think about BattleBRAWL, the more excited I get, Tom. To think .. an over the top battle royal, with competitors entering every 90 seconds … it is going to be a sight to behold!"
GHEORGHE: "And from what we know, Nick, every member of the New ERA roster who isn’t involved in the World Heavyweight Championship match or the Women’s Championship match will be in the BattleBRAWL. The winner gets the Gold Cup and the distinction of being the first ever BattleBRAWL champion!"
JIVE: "Speaking of which, I cannot WAIT for the Women’s Championship match. I’ve heard that all six women are going to be involved in the match .. and I can only hope it’s an evening gown match where the women are eliminated via disrobement."
GHEORGHE: "And unfortunately for you that WON’T be the stipulation… I can almost guarantee it."
JIVE: "One can hope, yes?"
GHEORGHE: "BattleBRAWL is coming in late October, but tonight we have an INCREDIBLE lineup as we feature some of our most talented members…"
JIVE: "Well lay it on us! What’s going on tonight?"
GHEORGHE: "Well, just for the fans in attendance here we had the ladies match between Karla Starr and Whisper … and we’ll give you those results after we do a rundown of tonight’s televised matches … but let me tell you, that was one hell of a fight!"
JIVE: "WHAT?! THERE WAS A WOMEN’s MATCH THAT I MISSED?!"
GHEORGHE: "If you read the memos sent out you’d have known that.."
JIVE: "Fuck memos."
GHEORGHE: "Well anyway, as Nick kicks himself in the ass for not doing his job, we’ve got six incredible televised matches. Starting off with tonight’s opening match between Jay and the Distributor of Pain!"
JIVE: "You mean the Disappointment of Pain. After all I heard about the former NWL Television champion, he’s gone GWBush on us and disappeared from the television screens."
GHEORGHE: "Distributor of Pain did not even bother to respond to Jay during the lead up to this match, but I can assure you that he is in the building, and he WILL have to respond to Jay when they’re in the ring!"
JIVE: "The man who whipped Jay’s ass last week is also in the building, right?"
GHEORGHE: "If you’re talking about the Phantom Republican, then yes, he is here tonight, and he’ll be taking on Alister Hayze!"
JIVE: "Awesome! I always wanted Hayze to get his ass handed to him by someone whom I respected."
GHEORGHE: "The Phantom Republican made an impression on me last week, Nick, when he outlasted Jay in their double debut match."
JIVE: "And now he’s going to make an impression on Alister Hayze and the rest of New ERA when he walks all over a man you’re proclaiming to be a future World Champion!"
GHEORGHE: "We’ll see, Nick. In a women’s match that Nick will actually see tonight, Krist Blue, the … interesting young lady, will make her debut against Caitlyn Daymon, who has been on a roll in these Special Women’s Division Preview matches. Both of these women will be in the Women’s Championship match with the four other New ERA women at BattleBRAWL, and it should be interesting to see how these two feel each other up tonight."
JIVE: "FEEL EACH OTHER UP?!"
JIVE: "You said feel each other up!"
GHEORGHE: "No I didn’t!"
JIVE: "AHAHAHA! Yes you did, you perv!"
GHEORGHE: "Uh … moving right along!"
JIVE: "Yea, see, you know what you said!"
GHEORGHE: "In a battle of the masked men, ANTAEUS will bother someone other than Jean Rabesque as he will go head to head with El Arco Iris on tonight’s show."
JIVE: "ANTAEUS is going to rip the mask right of El Arco Iris’ little head and show the world that the reason Iris wears the mask is so that the fans don’t flee the arena when they see him come down the isle!"
GHEORGHE: "Don’t be mean, Nick. You don’t even know what Iris looks like!"
JIVE: "I’ve seen his face, Tom … and I’m just lucky I didn’t turn to stone. THAT BITCH IS UGLY!"
GHEORGHE: "Oh stop it. Ladies and gentlemen, in one of our more … unusual matches, there will be a SCHOOL HOUSE BRAWL between the Red Devastator and DREDD’s John Doe right down the street at San Diego High … and the rules for this one are pretty lenient."
JIVE: "So .. Devastator throws Doe off the roof and we’re all happy, right?"
GHEORGHE: "Doe wants to topple Jean Rabesque and yet you still want to see him thrown from a roof?"
JIVE: "If I lose harping on Doe, then I lose my livelihood, Tom."
GHEORGHE: "The School House Brawl will start atop the roof of San Diego High … and the ONLY way to win is to make your way down three stories and out the front doors. Every other entrance has been locked … and everything is set up for what should a brutal brawl between Red Devastator, who cannot feel pain, and John Doe, who … doesn’t remember who he is?"
JIVE: "Maybe he’ll be knocked so senseless, he’ll remember who he is."
GHEORGHE: "In a side note, for those who are wondering .. Jane Doe has spent the past week in the hospital due to the injuries that she received last edition of RAUCOUS when her head hit the guardrail pretty hard … but we are expecting her to make a full recovery."
GHEORGHE: "And in the main event of tonight …. CHAOS ….. JEAN RABESQUE …. The WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP ON THE LINE …"
JIVE: "AND CHAOS GOING 3 for 3!"
GHEORGHE: "Chaos has his chance after winning the non-title match between those two last edition thanks to the sneakiness of ANTAEUS who drug Rabesque under the ring and did god knows what to him …"
JIVE: "Hey, a win is a win … and Chaos has TWO of them over Rabesque already in New ERA…"
GHEORGHE: "This could be an epic match … and you will see it here … ON RAUCOUS!"
JIVE: "Now .. what happened earlier!?"
GHEORGHE: "Karla Starr took on newcomer Whisper in a special women’s division preview match before the cameras took to the air … and we have some clips of that match for you … it seems with these special women’s division preview matches we are getting glimpses of what will be an awesome division… and as I said earlier, the division will officially kick off when one of six women are named the New ERA Women’s Champion at BattleBRAWL."
JIVE: "ENOUGH TALKING! SHOW ME THE TI…"
GHEORGHE: "OK! Here are some clips from the match which took place just moments ago…"
(CUTTO: Starr entering the ring. CUTTO: Whisper entering the ring. CUTTO: Both ladies locking up, with Whisper getting the upperhand early. CUTTO: Whisper hitting a belly to back suplex, followed by a two count. CUTTO: Whisper hitting a fireman’s carry into a headlock. CUTTO: Starr getting back on the offensive with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. CUTTO: Starr with springboard cross body block.)
GHEORGHE: "Both women were hot off the start as Whisper had some fine mat moves and Karla Starr with a bit of aerial.."
JIVE: "And both women wearing just enough, or should I say, lacking just enough, clothing!"
GHEORGHE: "It was a seesaw match throughout the entire affair with both ladies hitting some awesome moves."
(CUTTO: Starr with a DDT. CUTTO: Whisper nailing a flying headscissors. CUTTO: Whisper going to the top rope. CUTTO: Starr moving out of the way of a shooting star press. CUTTO: Starr nailing a missile dropkick. CUTTO: Whisper kicking out at 2.999. CUTTO: Starr continuing to wail on Whisper. CUTTO: Whisper managing to trip Starr up and roll her up with a school boy attempt. CUTTO: Starr kicking out right as the referee was about to count three.)
GHEORGHE: "It was a real shame that this match wasn’t shown live on television .. because unlike my partner, I watched this as it happened .. and it could have easily been one of the best matches on the show."
JIVE: "You’re supposed to keep me posted about this kind of stuff … I can’t believe I had to miss this in the flesh. Hmm, do you think if I asked for an encore in my bedroom they’d give me one?"
GHEORGHE: "Not a chance. But the match was a cat fight right to the very end, with Karla Starr finally managing to put off Whisper in her first match here in New ERA…"
(CUTTO: Whisper with a hurricanrana attempt. CUTTO: Starr blocking it and planting Whisper with a powerbomb. CUTTO: Starr with bulldog followed by a swinging neckbreaker. CUTTO: Whisper kicking out after 2. CUTTO: Whisper reversing an irish whip and sending Starr into the ropes. CUTTO: Whisper ducking a Starr clothesline attempt, yet get clocked by a "Moonshot" superkick as she turned around. CUTTO: Starr nailing the ‘Morning Starr’ moonsault from the top rope and getting the three count.)
JIVE: "I can’t believe I missed that."
GHEORGHE: "Well you did, Nick. And I’m sure they weren’t complaining either. Its bad enough they have to watch you drool over them now… But ladies and gentlemen .. that was our untelevised match of the evening … we’ve got six HUGE matches coming up .. and yes, Nick, even another special preview match of the women’s division … which will be officially started at New ERA’s second pay per view; Battle BRAWL! When we come back … we’re going to get this show started as Jay will take on former NWL Television champion, the Distributor of Pain!"