(CUEUP: "Flowing" by 311. J1D comes out from the curtain, drawing a solid pop from the crowd, and some "L-V-Dub!" chants. J1D is in his blue board shorts with white trim, barefoot, with the LVW Spinner belt over his shoulder.)
HARWELL: "Making his way to the ring from LAS VEGAS, NEVADA (Pop!)… Weighing in at 223 pounds, the LVW Champion… JAY… ONE… DEE!"
(J1D hits the ring and holds the LVW Spinner belt aloft, getting cheers from the crowd.)
MAYES: "This is… Well odd that the champion was introduced first… But now we await the challenger, the mighty Viking Olvir Arsvinnar."
(CUEUP: "Shipping Up To Boston" by Dropkick Murphys.)
MAYES: "Wait a second, that’s not Olvir’s music, that’s… Nobody’s music!"
(Green Machine, wearing a blue Tom Brady #12 Patriots jersey, and blue warm up pants, comes out from behind the curtain. He has a mic in hand. The crowd gives Greenie some boos.)
GREENIE: "Cut the music! (Music stops) man I’ve always wanted to say that… But enough about that, we got business to attend to J1D… Listen up… I bought LVW, and well, I thought I was getting myself some cheap labor I could lord over, be a jerk to, all the reasons why people buy a crappy dump of a wrestling league. Come to find out, this Olvir guy has a contract, like a real one, you have any idea what his appearance fee is?! I can’t pay that kind of coin! I was handed a pile of debt as the owners of LVW fled like thieves in the night, I was hoodwinked, swindled, bamboozled!"
(Greenie makes it to ringside now, still glaring at J1D, who seems baffled by Greenie’s tirade.)
GREENIE: "So well, my dreams for LVW died, but Sin City Showdown gave me a chance at redemption… And well, I got ahold of Doc, and he said he’d help me out… So right now, you’re about to defend the LVW Champion, in a Triple Threat match… First fall wins… Good luck!"
(Greenie drops the mic and walks over to the broadcast table, J1D looking down the ramp waiting for his opponents, when suddenly Private Pyle and Flint M. Jacobs charge through the crowd and attack J1D from behind!)
GREENIE: "Ring the bell! This match has started!"
(The bell rings, Greenie drops his mic and walks over to the broadcast table.)
MAYES: "I’m joined by… LVW… Owner… Green Machine here at the broadcast table… As in the ring Flint M. Jacobs and Private Pyle are stomping the life out of J1D. J1D now put into the corner… Jacobs grabs Pyle and whips him into J1D… NO! The LVW Champion out of the way and Pyle crashes hard into the corner… J1D off the ropes BLASTS Jacobs with a clothesline!"
GREENIE: "What?! No! This isn’t right! I paid good money for these two! They better get this done!"
MAYES: "Pyle rushes out of the corner and J1D catches him with a drop toe hold… OH MY GOODNESS!! And Pyle’s face just landed in a BAD spot on Jacobs’s body!"
(Crowd laughing!)
GREENIE: "Low blow! Low blow!"
MAYES: "J1D now grabs Pyle and smashes him into the turnbuckle. J1D waits on Jacobs to get up and whips Pyle into Jacobs… Jacobs sent crashing and Pyle staggers backwards… INTO A ROLL UP!
ONE!!
TWO!!
NO!!"
GREENIE: "Why?! Why is this happening to me?!"
MAYES: "J1D now hammering away on Jacobs, who falls to the floor. J1D follows him to the outside and sends Jacobs crashing into the railing!"
GREENIE: "I paid top dollar for these guys, and this is what I get?! Really, these two are buffoons!"
MAYES: "If you were honestly paid top dollar for hired help from Doc, how did you not get Bloodhunt?"
GREENIE: "Well it wasn’t top, top dollar, maybe like very high dollar… And Bloodhunt demands half up front! I ain’t paying till I see victory dammit!"
MAYES: "So you haven’t even paid them at all."
GREENIE: "I… Well… SHUT UP AND CALL THE MATCH MAYES!"
MAYES: "J1D now pulls FMJ to his feet… OH LORD… PYLE WITH A PLANCHA TO THE FLOOR JUST CRUSHED BOTH MEN!"
GREENIE: "I didn’t even know he could do that!"
MAYES: "All three men down, there is no ten count, as this is an LVW Triple threat match, so it’s one fall to a finish, no count outs or DQ’s... Jacobs and Pyle now slowly getting up and they grab J1D and toss him back into the ring… Jacobs now giving orders to Pyle, calling for a power bomb… Pyle gets J1D up… PLANTS HIM WITH THE POWERBOMB!"
GREENIE: "Now we’re cooking! Come on, take his head off!"
MAYES: "Pyle now with a cover!
ONE!!
TWO!!
TH—NO!!"
MAYES: "J1D kicks out, but now Jacobs is yelling at Pyle, I don’t think he was really OK with Pyle trying to score that pin."
GREENIE: "What?! Oh come on you two, I’m paying you the same, I’ll saw the championship in half, you can each defend it on indy shows on alternate weekends, just pin him already!"
MAYES: "Pyle now gets to his feet. Jacobs tells him to go up top and Jacobs does make the climb… Now Jacobs grabs J1D and drags him to his feet…. A couple right hands… And now Jacobs has set up… JACOBS HAS THE LVW CHAMPION UP… HANDS HIM OFF TO PYLE!!"
GREENIE: "Break him in half! Cripple him!"
MAYES: "Pyle set for a SuperBomb… J1D fighting with right hands… J1D WITH A HURRICANRANA OFF THE TOP ROPE!! PYLE SPLATTERED ON THE MAT!!"
GREENIE: "Unreal, this is like Tyree pulling down that pass in the Super Bowl... Come on, this can’t be happening to me!"
MAYES: "Jacobs quickly back on J1D and gets him set for a suplex… NO! J1D lands behind him… INVERTED DDT! J1D to the outside… SLINGSHOT SPLASH! HE COVERS!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
NO!!"
GREENIE: "Can I add more guys to this match? Maybe I could pay some people in the crowd some money to beat this guy for me! I need to do something!"
(SFX: A headset being taken off.)
MAYES: "My broadcast partner just left the broadcast table and now he’s up on the apron yelling at J1D…. J1D looks at Greenie as if to say ‘what the heck is your problem?’…. Wait! Pyle from behind grabs J1D’s arms… GREENIE THROWS SALT AT J1D… HE DUCKED… Pyle blinded... J1D WITH THE CHILL PILL… HE KNOCKED PYLE OUT!! THE COVER!!!
ONE!!
TWO!!!
THR—NO!"
MAYES: "Greenie stops the count! He’s grabbed the ref and is yelling at him to not count any pins against Jacobs or Pyle… J1D now back up to his feet… He grabs Greenie by the jersey… WAIT! JACOBS WITH THE LVW CHAMPIONSHIP BELT FROM BEHIND!! J1D just got nailed in the back… He’s staggering… Jacobs now winding up… RUNNING BELT SHOT!! NO! J1D SIDESTEPS!! GREENIE GETS HIT WITH THE BELT AND SLUMPS INTO THE CORNER!! Jacobs turns around, kick to the gut… CHILL PILL ONTO THE BELT!!! J1D COVERS BOTH MEN!!!"
(The ref stands stunned for a beat, J1D yells ‘c’mon it’s cool bro!’ and the ref drops for the count!)
"ONE!!
TWO!!!
THREE!!!"
(Bell rings. Crowd pops loud as "Flowing"by 311 hits on the PA!)
HARWELL: "Time of the fall 7 minutes, 42 seconds… The winner and STILL LVW Champion… JAY… ONE…. DEE!"
MAYES: "Green Machine hired 2 thugs, he meddled in the match himself, and all of it failed him, J1D retains the LVW Championship… We’ll be throwing it back to EPW and New ERA, who we thank for letting us be a part of the show.. hope you enjoy the rest of your stay in the City of Sin!"
