"Don't count a bitch down and out until she's well and truly dead." – Shirley Manson.
(The New ERA of Wrestling logo appears on a black background.)
VOICE/OVER: "Six months ago, New ERA of Wrestling was thought to be lost."
(The epilogue of RAUCOUS 37 replaces the logo.)
VOICE/OVER: "Lost – but not forgotten. Lost – but not buried. Lost – waiting to be found."
(Black and white footage of Marcus LaRoque entering into a Copley Square office. He ducks in behind the covered door.)
VOICE/OVER: "January 29th, 2011. Boston, Massachusetts."
(The logo for Cyberstrike fills the screen.)
VOICE/OVER: "New ERA of Wrestling broke through its cocoon. Transformed."
(The Agganis Arena at Boston University.)
VOICE/OVER: "Familiar men battled in unfamiliar surroundings."
(Images of Larry Tact, Cameron Cruise, Chaos, Mr. Entertainment and Shawn Hart come on screen.)
VOICE/OVER: "But it was a New ERA rookie who would change everything."
(Black and white film of the First attacking Shawn Hart at Cyberstrike 03. The film pauses as he spits on Shawn Hart.)
VOICE/OVER: "A new era … for New ERA."
(Images of The First holding the New ERA Championship .. the fans in the background snarling.)
VOICE/OVER: "Tonight … the action heads west to the DCU Center in Worcester, Massachusetts."
(The camera cuts to the front of the DCU Center .. the marquee heralding tonight's premier event – BattleBRAWL 3.)
VOICE/OVER: "Tonight … Pro Wrestling's SJH looks to reclaim what was taken.."
(Hart and The First face-to-face.)
VOICE/OVER: "Eleven men."
(Images of tonight's BattleBRAWL rumble competitors split the screen.)
VOICE/OVER: "One ring."
(The camera cuts to an empty DCU Center – the ring featuring the BattleBRAWL 3 logo.)
VOICE/OVER: "One shot…"
(The BattleBRAWL Cup and the New ERA Championship rest side by side on a podium.)
VOICE/OVER: "At glory."
(The screen fades to black.)
VOICE/OVER: "Don't count a bitch down and out … until she's well and truly dead."
NEWMAN: "Welcome everyone to the DCU Center! From Worcester, Massachusetts … this is Season 1's premier event … BATTLEBRAWL 3! LIVE on ESENtv!"
(The camera cuts to the inside of the DCU Center. It swings around the rafters as the six thousand or so fans crammed into the arena wave their hands and scream for their favorites.)
NEWMAN: "Tonight .. 11 men will battle it out for the chance to walk away with the BattleBRAWL Cup … and a shot … at the New ERA Championship!"
(Banners hang from the upper rafters proclaiming their love for Jonathan Marx, Chaos, and others. Finally, it cuts to the announce table as Natalie Newman, Jason Tripp, and special guest, Dean Julius, look around.)
NEWMAN: "Welcome again to BattleBRAWL 3 .. and a special welcome to our guest announcer tonight .. the always engaging, Dean Julius!"
JULIUS: "For the last time, Newman .. no rubber, no go. You dirty, dirty whore!"
(Newman is taken aback.)
NEWMAN: "What the hell are you talking about?"
JULIUS: "Oh, I'm just joking. No need to be so uptight."
TRIPP: "Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we bid adieux to Season 1 … and we are here at the DCU Center in Worcester, Massachusetts … and on air with you through ESENtv!"
NEWMAN: "What an event we have! The BattleBRAWL Rumble .. eleven men will be fighting for the chance to take home the BattleBRAWL Cup .. and a shot at the New ERA Championship!"
JULIUS: "And what a way to make an entrance to New ERA .. by hopscotching over everyone else and getting the shot in your first match!"
NEWMAN: "You're picking one of tonight's special entrants, Dean?"
JULIUS: "Damn right. Donovan Astros is going to hit that ring in just a few moments and outclass the likes of Cameron Cruise … outclass the melancholy Jonathan Marx .. and take control of this joint!"
TRIPP: "That's what is so great about the Rumble, Dean. New ERA opens it up for any and all to participate .. and anyone can walk out with the BattleBRAWL Cup!"
JULIUS: "Not just anyone… Donovan Astros!"
NEWMAN: "How about you, Jason? Any picks for the Rumble?"
TRIPP: "It's hard to bet against the man who has the most momentum .. I'm going with the seven foot giant, Chaos."
NEWMAN: "A lot of great competitors tonight .. but I think the night belongs to the man trying to carry on the TACT LEGACY … Fanatic!"
JULIUS: "And this is why Marcus LaRoque brought me in… to offer some REAL insight.. to bring some CREDIBILITY to this poor excuse of an announce team. Chaos? I don't think so. Fanatic? Nice thought, but no. Astros has every benefit in the world right now .. he's unknown to most of tonight's competitors and he's got the talent to blow them out of the water."
NEWMAN: "Also on the schedule tonight .. the New ERA Championship is on the line … Pro Wrestling's SJH seeks to regain the championship belt against the man that, for all intents and purposes, stole it from him at Cyberstrike 03!"
JULIUS: "Stole it from him?! Are you serious?! The First won the belt fair and square. He banked the shot – he used the shot – he won the title."
TRIPP: "Shawn Hart had been injured by Chaos the week before! He wasn't even scheduled, not to mention cleared, to wrestle that evening!"
JULIUS: "Boo-fucking-hoo."
NEWMAN: "This match has been building all throughout Season 1 … and here at BattleBRAWL … we're going to see whether or not the most reviled man in New ERA history will retain the belt many people think he doesn't deserve!"
JULIUS: "I think he deserves it."
TRIPP: "It's going to be a wild ride tonight, folks .. and I'm getting word that Jennifer Harding is in the back with the mentor of Fanatic .. Larry Tact!"
(Jennifer Harding stands in front of a New ERA BattleBRAWL 3 backdrop, mic in hand.)
HARDING: "With BattleBRAWL here, it's been a wild time backstage! We've got a lot of buzz about who will win the Rumble, who will walk away New ERA Champion, and it seems like everyone has an opinon! But right now I'd like to introduce a man who has had experience with holding the New ERA Championship… Larry Tact!"
(Stepping into view is Larry Tact, wearing a sleeveless black t-shirt with "Simply Tactilizing" written in cursive, black leather pants, and blue-lensed, silver-framed sunglasses.)
HARDING: "Larry tonight you'll be one of the spectators who will have your eyes peeled on the BattleBRAWL Rumble match, as your brother Fanatic tries to become just the third-ever BattleBRAWL Champion. Am I right?"
TACT: "Jennifer, there's no doubt I'm going to be watching that match. And I'm extremely confident that my brother, the "Elite Enigma," Fanatic, will be the one who walks away."
HARDING: "So you aren't worried that a more experienced wrestlers like Cameron Cruise, or Chaos, could walk away the winner?"
TACT: "Not at all, Jennifer, and with good reason. I mean, you of all people should understand that Chaos seems to be going through some… changes…"
HARDING: "Changes?"
TACT: "Absolutely. See, Jennifer, Chaos is showing some clear signs of having a deficiency. He's lacking of late… in fact, I think I know what the problem is."
HARDING: "Wow, you sound pretty confident in yourself."
TACT: "Well, Jennifer, did you know I am a certified doctor?"
HARDING: (looking impressed) "Um, no, actually, I didn't! That's pretty amazing. What type of doctor are you?"
TACT: "Well, there are MDs in my family… that's Medical Doctor… and I guess I took after their ambitions. Over the years, I have become a certified BSD."
HARDING: "Oh… um, I think I've heard of it…"
TACT: "Jennifer, Jennifer… don't do that."
HARDING: (confused) "Excuse me?"
TACT: "It's clear you have NO idea what a BSD is. Don't try to pass off knowing, you're showing all the symptoms of suffering from BSD."
HARDING: "Wait a minute, BSD? I thought that was your medical degree?"
TACT: "It is. In fact, though, it also happens to stand for what you are suffering from."
HARDING: "Well… yes, you're right, I don't really know… what is a BSD?"
TACT: "It's not too important, but the important thing is, you seem to be healing up already!"
HARDING: "Oh… well that's a relief. I think?"
TACT: "Yes, but unfortunately, Chaos is another story. You see, Chaos has become severely infected with BSI… it's an infection. It makes people believe they can do whatever they want, however they want, and still be considered someone worthy of reward. In Chaos' case, he has assaulted the President of New ERA… dropped FISH STICKS on an arena… and saddest of all…"
HARDING: "Saddest…?"
TACT: "Yes, saddest of all… he forced you, dear Jennifer, to touch his performance-enhanced backside."
HARDING: "Oh… yeah, that was a little… awkward…"
TACT: "I can tell you still have PGS… post-grope syndrome."
HARDING: "Ohh… wait, what?? Post—."
TACT: "Don't worry, I've seen women suffer from it, myself. It passes, preferably as soon as the sensation is replaced by another, more powerful one."
HARDING: "Ummm…"
TACT: "But back to Chaos. The man thinks he can walk around this company, doing whatever he wants, and STILL be considered for the New ERA Championship? If so, then it's clear he's suffering from a hard case of BS… D. BSD. Because there's no way he's going to get away with getting NEAR the New ERA Championship, if he's going to pay more attention turning around to look at his ass, and far too little time on what's happening in front of him. Namely, the hungry stars that are coming to destroy his ass, if he thinks he can write them off because he has experience, or because he can impersonate the spokesman for a decent energy drink. I mean, what the hell is MONSTER'D?? It's certainly not, Tactilizing."
HARDING: "Speaking of technical definitions, what does that—."
TACT: "Shh… Jennifer… let's not sidetrack, especially when Cameron Cruise is in even sadder state than Chaos."
HARDING: "Yes, Cruise has had some words for both you and Fanatic, this week."
TACT: "Cameron Cruise is not so fortunate to be suffering from merely BSD. No, for poor Cam… he's got PRD…"
HARDING: "PRD??"
TACT: "Yes… almost tragic, really. PRD or… post-reality disorder."
HARDING: "Oh my, that sounds serious!"
TACT: "Yes, it is. Very. Cam's talked so much over the years about reality checks, and how nobody would like them. The truth is, in the process, he's lost touch with his own reality. He's now living in a post-reality state of mind, in which little or nothing is how he says."
HARDING: "Oh no!!!! Poor Cameron…"
TACT: "Yes, like I said, it's almost tragic. The best thing that we can do for him… is…"
HARDING: "Yes?"
TACT: "Well, it's complicated, but in short… from here on out, it would be best not to listen to anything Cameron Cruise says. You wouldn't want to be pulled into HIS reality."
HARDING: "His reality?"
TACT: "Yes… ANTI-REALITY~!"
HARDING: "Oh no!"
TACT: "But tonight, don't worry, because the potentially contagious effects of BSD and PRD are going to be contained. When my brother enters the BattleBRAWL Rumble, it'll be like applying a cooling balm to a clean shaven face. Or perhaps…*ahem*… other areas, in your case."
HARDING: (blushes) "Hey, let's not get sidetracked… right?"
TACT: "Of course, of course. I was just providing a hypothesis. We medical professionals enjoy our hypothesizing and… research…"
HARDING: "Not to cut your researching short, Larry, but there's one other person who's had quite a bit to say about you and Fanatic, and that is Mister Entertainment. Any comments on him?"
TACT: "Mister Entertainment. The man who wants everyone to believe he's in the middle of everything that happens. You know, I've already given too much time addressing someone who hasn't earned the respect or attention, so I'll just say this. Mister Entertainment, you owe this company more than you could EVER pay it back. You've been allowed to waltz around here, talking trash to whomever, parading around a claim that's as fraudulent as that WHADATT garbage you tried peddling in the past."
"The truth is, Entertainment, you're allowed to do it simply because nobody cares enough to put their boot down and ream you a new asshole for the big fat check you've yet to cash."
"New ERA of Wrestling is not a company that revolves around one person, and do you know why, Entertainment? No, of course not, because you weren't around from the start. And you don't respect the pioneers of this company enough to have gone back and checked. This place began with a singular focus: the New… ERA… Championship. It started with everyone vying for that strap, and it ended with ME… Larry Tact… taking it. But even regardless of who won it, New ERA is bigger than any one person. But NO ONE PERSON is above IT… the New ERA Championship."
"You say New ERA has suffered, Entertainment? You think we need you to bring us to new heights, to YOUR New ERA? As far as I'm concerned, New ERA has come back to its ROOTS! New ERA has rid itself of the some who were harboring BSI… an infection of BS, for the less medically technically savvy… that had nearly gone VIRAL from within. And now, we're back to focusing on what matters, what anyone in New ERA should be reaching for, and that's becoming the New ERA Champion."
"And rather than have to tell him all about this, Fanatic is well aware already. He knows what he has to do. He isn't staring at his ass… or have his head UP IT. And tonight, he's going to show why for all your talk, you're a step behind for it, and YOUR New ERA will perpetually be waiting in the wings, as Fanatic rises up and claims his place at the top of New ERA and confirms his status here… as Elite."
(Tact walks off, leaving Jennifer Harding smiling a little. The camera cuts to ringside.)
