[ FedEx Forum ] Memphis, Tennessee
TAPED: Sep. 06, 2009
AIRED: Nov. 21, 2009
EPISODE: RAUCOUS 33
(FADEIN: The closing shot of WFW:NE Unplugged from Birmingham! Shawn Hart stands in the middle of the ring holding the New ERA of Wrestling World Heavyweight championship.)
VOICE/OVER: "Two men entered as New ERA of Wrestling World Heavyweight champions… but only one man left Birmingham as THE New ERA World Heavyweight champion… tonight .. the trek to crown the first ever WFW:NE World Heavyweight champion officially begins.. Las Vegas. The MGM Grand … Destrucity II .. all lay on the horizon."
(The shot fades to black as the WFW:NE RAUCOUS logo comes on screen. CUEUP: "Who Said" by Planet Funk.)
V/O: "Memphis, Tennessee.. RAUCOUS … begins."
(CUTTO: Ringside. The lights blaze bright. The crowd goes crazy as they see themselves on the big screens at the top of the rampway. Sitting at the announce table, Tom Gheorghe and Nick Jive finish their preparations as the music fades.)
GHEORGHE: "Welcome everyone to the FedEx Forum … we are in Memphis, Tennessee for our first RAUCOUS after an incredible Unplugged from Birmingham, Alabama!"
JIVE: "I still can’t believe it … Shawn Hart overcame the man many people thought would breeze through Birmingham, and go into Las Vegas as the odds on favorite to becoming the first ever WFW:NE World Heavyweight champion.."
GHEORGHE: "Unplugged was an incredible event … tweeted live by Jason Tripp …"
JIVE: "Someone needs to give him valium before he starts tweeting the next Unplugged.."
GHEORGHE: "Did you even follow it, Nick?"
JIVE: "I have a life, thank you."
GHEORGHE: "I’ll need to see it before I believe it."
JIVE: "I have witnesses!"
GHEORGHE: "Either way, it was an incredible show .. and watching it on the television a few days later … people got to see exactly what Tripp was tweeting .. I cannot wait for the 2nd Unplugged from Omaha in just a few weeks!"
JIVE: "Oh great … Tripp can tweet about the grass growing … since there’s nothing else to talk about in Omaha.."
GHEORGHE: "The New ERA World Heavyweight championship was unified, finally, and now Shawn Hart will be heading into WFW:NE Destrucity II as the New ERA World Heavyweight champion to take on WFW World Heavyweight champion Felix Red in the final step to crown the first official WFW:NE World Heavyweight champion."
JIVE: "Yea, yea, yea .."
GHEORGHE: "Unplugged also saw the team of Psycho and Golem defeating GAMMA-O and Jared Wells … AND Minion and the WFW World Heavyweight champion …. With that victory, Psycho and Golem went on to face one another this past Almost Live for a chance to face Red …. And what an encounter that turned out to be!"
JIVE: "No matter who won that match, Felix Red was going to just knock them down to size. So, yes, PSYCHO is going on to face Red for the WFW World Heavyweight championship at this next Almost Live… but he’s got a better chance at coming up with a solution to the economic situation here in the U.S. than he does walking out with the championship."
GHEORGHE: "Steve Johnson retained the BAD World Heavyweight championship in a tough battle against Peter File … one which saw King Krusher come down to ringside for, perhaps, a front row seat to his opponent at Destrucity II when the BAD World Heavyweight championship and the New ERA PCX championship will be unified as the WFW:NE PRODIGY Classic Xtreme championship."
JIVE: "That match had screw job written all over it from the very beginning. Peter File should have walked out with the BAD World Heavyweight championship.. I don’t know who Steve Johnson blew backstage before the mach … but obviously he must be better with his tongue than File was…"
JIVE: "Don’t even get me started on the whole Krusher / Johnson sausage party…"
GHEORGHE: "And in the other match at Unplugged, Krusher stepped into the ring with the PCX champion Jason Payne in a very special match … the disturbing Michael Jackson Tribute match."
JIVE: "Payne set himself up for disaster as his own stipulations ended up costing him the championship and the chance to head into Destrucity II to get the sure-fire victory over Johnson…"
GHEORGHE: "Krusher won the match, and the championship, by forcing Payne to drink the so-called "Jesus Juice…" and now it will be he and Steve Johnson at Destrucity II in the unification match."
JIVE: "The real action in that match will be seeing how many fans in attendance slit their wrists before the match is over… I’m betting 60% … but it could go as high as 80!"
GHEORGHE: "You’re horrible, you know that?"
GHEORGHE: "But ladies and gentlemen, we are here in Memphis, Tennessee and we’ve got an incredible line up for ya’ll tonight!"
JIVE: "Ya’ll? You better cut that shit out right now, Gheorghe.. I don’t want to have to spend the next two hours of my life listening to you emulate the local trailer trash around here."
GHEORGHE: "Oh stop it! Tonight we will be seeing The current New ERA P©X champion in action, in a non-title tables match, as King Krusher takes on "Total Carnage" Trevor Cane."
JIVE: "Cane gunning for the … (sighs) champion … and if he can, well … WHEN he puts Krusher through the table, he’ll be in line to receive a shot at the PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme championship."
GHEORGHE: "I am not as positive as you are that Cane can walk out of here with a victory over Krusher, Nick… he went through hell to get the championship from a very, very difficult opponent."
JIVE: "Krusher is like 100 years old .. unless he drank his Metamucil today, he’ll be lucky he can even make it to the ring, nevermind putting a 260 pounds man through a table."
GHEORGHE: "We also have the New ERA of Wrestling World Heavyweight champion Shawn Hart in action tonight … he’ll be teaming with the impressive new upstart Otto Pearl as they take on the team of Peter File and Mister Entertainment."
JIVE: "File should be the BAD World Heavyweight champion right now .. but Steve Johnson escaped … that won’t happen tonight w/ Hart and Pearl, I can assure you that. Hart may be a two-time New ERA World Heavyweight champion …. But Mr. Entertainment was a helluva Television champion … and by all accounts, the most dominant champion in New ERA before the merger."
GHEORGHE: "We didn’t see too much of Pearl leading up to tonight’s show, but I’ve seen him in the building with the Phenom .. so I know that he’s here. Hart is coming off an incredible victory at Unplugged …. And you know he’s looking forward to continuing that good fortune."
GHEORGHE: "John Doe and Chaos will be in action tonight as well … and these two have some bad blood between them … Chaos and Doe traded the P©X championship belt between one another a few years ago … and both men are probably looking at this match as their ticket back to contention."
JIVE: "These two had some pretty brutal matches in the past … and it doesn’t look like time has dulled things any … Chaos is too big, too strong though … he’s going to end Doe’s career here tonight if Doe isn’t careful."
GHEORGHE: "And finally, in our opening bout, Adam Benjamin, everyone’s favorite Brit, will take on the debuting Erik Black."
JIVE: "Black is a hard man to read… I couldn’t tell whether or not he was stoned, depressed, or whatever … and Benjamin .. well … it’s Adam Benjamin – ‘nuff said."
GHEORGHE: "The Druid is looking for his first victory here in the WFW:NE … and when we get back …. We’ll see whether or not he gets it! We’ll be right back after this commercial break!"
(CUTTO: Inside the ring as Jamie Links paces back and forth, microphone in hand. Some cat calls can be heard from the crowd, but she ignores them. The lineup for the match comes on screen.)
Erik Black vs. Adam Benjamin
LINKS: "The following match is scheduled for one fall … and has a twenty minute time limit!"
(CUEUP: "Final Countdown" by Europe. The British flag comes on screen as a light mist surrounds the rampway… stepping through it, hands held high in the air, is Adam Benjamin. He begins to make his way to the ring.)
JIVE: "This man is a legend in his own mind."
GHEORGHE: "Adam Benjamin is a gifted technical wrestler .. and one who has a future here in the WFW:NE once he gets his footing down."
LINKS: "He hails from the United Kingdom… standing six foot four and weighing in at 243 pounds… He is "Yours Truly…" ADAM …. BENJAMIN!"
(The crowd pops as Benjamin stands in the middle of the ring.)
JIVE: "The people in this arena must have gotten comped tickets.. they obviously have no clue who Benjamin is!"
(CUEUP: "Holy Mountain" by Sleep. The droning opening note to Sleep's "Holy Mountain" BLARES over the PA like a hypnotic hum transmitted from a land beyond time and space! On the screen, the image of a glowing orange sun rises over the crest of a mountain as titanic clouds sail through the sky. As the guitar rips into the lazy opening riffs, the colors distort and dance, giving a psychedelic effect that leaves many fans in a trance-like state. Pyros light up the stage.)
JIVE: "Whoa there!"
GHEORGHE: "Quite the pyrotechnics!"
(As the lyrics come in, "THE DRUID" ERIK BLACK steps out onto the stage, wearing the robe of the weed priest and holding GEEZER high over his head for the cheering fans to see! Comically bobbing in time with the music, the self-proclaimed "Man on the Mountain" makes an exaggerated procession down the rampway toward the ring, occasionally stopping to throw his hand out into his favorite pose, arm outstretched as though guiding his vision beyond horizons seen only by the mortal eye!)
JIVE: "This has got to be …. Some sort of …"
LINKS: "And his opponent…. Weighing in at 210 pounds and standing five feet, ten inches… he hails from Indianapolis, Indiana …. THE DRUID ….. ERIK … BLACK!"
(Black enters the ring, and pops up to a turnbuckle just as the bass and drums drop out of the music to allow the guitar to lead in the chorus riff... meanwhile, the Dopesmoker lights the water pipe -- which we can only assume is filled with a tobacco product of some kind -- and draws in a long breath. Just as the song comes full ensemble, he sets free a holy dove of thick, white smoke into the air as he pops into his "horizon-gazing" pose yet again! The cloud sails over the heads of the audience and eventually dissipates, and "The Man on the Mountain" drops back into the ring, ready to do business.)
JIVE: "Is he … is he smoking pot in the middle of the ring?"
GHEORGHE: "No.. he can’t …."
(Gheorghe pauses and takes a whiff of the air..)
GHEORGHE: "Ok.. maybe he is…"
(SFX: Bell rings.)
GHEORGHE: "This match is underway …. Erik Black making his debut against "Yours Truly" Adam Benjamin!!"
BEGINNING: Both men started out in the middle of the ring circling one another. This happened until Erik Black, probably still high from his pre-match smokefest, nearly fell over; possibly due to his world spinning. Adam Benjamin saw this as a perfect chance to go on the offensive, and he did. Benjamin grabbed Black by the arm and yanked it nearly out of its socket. This was followed by several elbow shots to the bicep and finally a fireman’s carry to the mat. Benjamin locked on an armbar as Black’s world finally stopped rotating. ‘The Druid’ tried to reach back and grab onto Benjamin’s head to gain some leverage, but ‘Yours Truly’ responded with a swift shot to the back of the neck. Benjamin released the armbar and dragged Black to his feet. Black was sent reeling backwards as Benjamin connected with some reverse knife edge chops to the upper torso. As soon as he reached the ropes, ‘Yours Truly’ booted Black in the gut and hooked him for a slingshot suplex off the top rope. Benjamin made a quick cover, but only got a two count. Benjamin got to his feet, bounced off the ropes and went for a double stomp on the abdomen of ‘the Druid,’ but Black rolled out of the way. As Benjamin came jumping down, Black swung around like a high school break dancer and swept ‘Yours Truly’ off his feet.
2nd QUARTER: The two men traded maneuver after maneuver with one counter after another. Black hooked Benjamin for a snap suplex, but Benjamin grabbed the top rope to block it and reversed. Black, instead of landing on the arena floor, instead flipped onto the ring apron. Benjamin turned right into a left hook, then had his throat introduced to the top rope as Black grabbed his head and dropped to the arena floor. ‘The Druid’ rolled back into the ring and picked Benjamin up off the mat. Instead of capitalizing, however, Black suffered a setback thanks to a nicely timed thumb to the eye by Benjamin. Adam Benjamin decided to take to the air and went through the ropes to the outside of the corner. As Benjamin was climbing to the top rope, Erik Black ran over and grabbed him to send him flying into the center of the ring. However Benjamin was able to hook onto the wrist of Black and connecting with a beautiful arm drag that sent Black crashing to the mat. Black almost instinctively got to his feet, only to take a few steps before flopping onto his stomach. ‘Yours Truly’ got to his feet, walked over to Black, and yanked him to his feet by his hair. After slamming an open hand into the side of ‘the Druid’s’ head, Benjamin hooked him and brought him completely vertical for a standing suplex that seemed to last forever. Benjamin completed the standing suplex and made the cover. The referee’s hand hit the mat three times, but he quickly got to his feet to announce Black got his shoulder up.
3rd QUARTER: Perhaps the blood rushing to Black’s head emulated the euphoria he experiences when he lights up his trusty sidekick "Geezer," because Erik Black came back refreshed. After Benjamin locked Black up for a neckbreaker, Black spun him around, then staring face to face with ‘Yours Truly,’ kneed him where the sun don’t shine. Benjamin’s eyes rolled into the back of his head as Black grabbed one arm, positioned it, and then brought Benjamin up and down with the pumphandle powerbomb! ‘The Druid’ then went on an offensive barrage; as soon as Benjamin made it back to his feet, Black came charging off the ropes and planted a heel right into his jaw with a spinning savate kick. Black covered for a two count, and without losing a step, popped up, ran to the corner and perched himself on the top turnbuckle pad. Adam Benjamin slowly rose to his feet, and thought he was going to avoid the flying moonsault as he dropped to the mat. But Erik Black faked Benjamin out by not flying off the top … with Benjamin lying prone on the mat, Black finally flew from the top rope nailing a picture perfect moonsault right onto the back of ‘Yours Truly.’ With Benjamin squashed underneath, Black spun himself around and applied a single leg Boston Crab in an attempt to get the submission victory. Adam Benjamin was stuck in the center of the ring for what must have felt like an eternity to him, but eventually he was able to muster through the pain and regain some of his strength to throw Black off him.
END: Black waited for Benjamin to get back to his feet, which in hindsight was probably not the brightest idea he had of the evening. Black came in for a go behind, but Benjamin hooked his leg in between ‘the Druid’s’ to block the bridging German suplex. Benjamin grabbed onto Black’s head and sent him crashing to the mat with a Diamond Cutter. With a quick two count, Benjamin looked to have the momentum back in his favor. Benjamin pulled Black to his feet and sent him into the corner with an irish whip. As Benjamin came charging in after him, however, Erik Black put up both his boots that connected to the kisser of ‘Yours Truly.’ Benjamin, stunned, took a few steps backwards. Black used this time to pull himself to the second rope, and then hop off, grab onto Benjamin’s head and then plant him with a second rope spinning DDT! Erik Black, playing off the crowd’s mounting responses to the match, grabbed Benjamin and sent him reeling backwards with an elbow to the mouth. As Benjamin held his jaw, Erik Black booted him in the gut, and connected with the scoop slam piledriver that he calls the "Hasheeshian Piledriver." Black then ascended to the top rope … and wowed the crowd with the "420" Splash. Three seconds later and Black was heading back to the lockerroom to light up a celebratory bowl!
WINNER: Erik Black via pinfall after hitting the "420 Splash" at 16:43.
(SFX: The bell rings.)
LINKS: "The winner of this match by pinfall …. THE DRUID .. ERIK … BLACK!"
(Black shoots one hand in the air and pinches his two fingers together with the other before "inhaling.")
JIVE: "I don’t believe it … Benjamin just lost to someone who was high as a kite!"
GHEORGHE: "Erik Black with the impressive debut against Adam Benjamin… unorthodox start … but whatever he did got the job done!"
JIVE: "I think he needs a good talking to! You can’t do that in the middle of the ring … I should, uh .. go back to his dressing room right now and straighten him out!"
GHEORGHE: "You’re not going anywhere, Nick… we’ve got to take a quick commercial break … but when we come back … "Total Carnage" Trevor Cane will be taking on the PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme champion King Krusher in a non-title Tables match!"
(CUTTO: Backstage. "Total Carnage" Trevor Cane stands in his ring attire next to the loading deck door. His biceps bulging he quickly glances out the glass window and then back at the camera.)
CANE: "This is it, Krusher. This is it. In only a few moments you are going to step into the ring with the man that is going to prove to the world how unworthy you are to be holding the PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme championship. In only a few moments, you are going to be face to face with "Total Carnage." The fans best beware; Trevor Cane is going to expose King Krusher as a fraud, and come time when the belt is on the line, he’s going to be the next P©X champion."
(Cane cracks his knuckles as he steps towards the camera.)
CANE: "This isn’t the wrestling world you once knew, Krusher. It’s changed and left you behind. If you think that you’ve got what it takes just because you were involved in some low budget midget por…"
(Cane stops short as his gaze goes straight through the camera. His eyes reveal the building anger.)
CANE: "What th…"
(SFX: CRACK! With a single stroke, a golf club to the side of the head knocks Cane to the ground. The camera swings around and standing before it, all seven feet of him, is Chaos, a grin creeping across his face. Cane sits up and attempts to defend himself, but Chaos drives a boot to the skull. Without saying a word, he grabs Cane and tosses him head first through the glass window next to them. Cane crashes through and lands on the ground past it. Chaos looks at him, huffs, and disappears.)
JIVE: "Chaos just took care of Cane so Krusher didn’t have to!"
GHEORGHE: "Trevor Cane in the middle of talking when Chaos interrupted him, you could say! Let’s hope that Cane is able to continue with his match here tonight!"
JIVE: "Any hope Cane had of receiving a P©X championship shot just flew out the window… with the rest of Cane!"
GHEORGHE: "Let’s go to the ring to Jamie Links and see if this match is still even on!"
(CUTTO: Inside the ring. The lineup for the match comes on screen.)
Trevor Cane vs. King Krusher (c)
LINKS: "The following match is a non-title PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme Tables match! Introducing first…. From Sarasota, Florida…"
(CUEUP: "Anthem for the Year 2000" by Silverchair. The crowd looks to the entrance but no one comes out.)
GHEORGHE: "I think Cane might not be coming! Krusher might win this by default!"
(The crowd begins to stir as the curtains open and "Total Carnage" Trevor Cane slowly walks down to the ring, his arm wrapped in blood stained gauze.)
JIVE: "Is he out of his mind?!"
LINKS: "Standing six foot five and weighing in at 283 pounds …. "TOTAL CARNAGE" …. TREVOR CANE!"
(Cane continues to make his way to the ring, working out whatever kinks he has in his arm.)
GHEORGHE: "He’s a fighter, that’s for sure."
JIVE: "He’s also a dumbass."
(CUEUP: "N.W.O." by Ministry. The fans pop HUGE as Krusher’s montage shows on the bigscreen. As the music gets louder, Krusher steps through the curtains, the P©X championship around his waist.)
LINKS: "Hailing from Chicago, Illinois…. Weighing in at 273 pounds… he is the current New ERA of Wrestling PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme champion ….. KING …… KRUSHER!"
JIVE: "The look on Krusher’s face says it all … he knows he’s got it in the bag!"
GHEORGHE: "Krusher isn’t one to be so cocky.. he’s going to treat this as if Cane was 100%!"
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JIVE: "HERE WE GO!"
BEGINNING: The P©X champion handed his belt to the referee, and as soon as he did Trevor Cane attacked from behind. Cane repeatedly drove forearm shots into the lower back sending Krusher to the mat. With the champion down, Cane drove boots into the top of his skull. Cane eventually dragged Krusher to his feet and whipped him into the corner. He charged in at Krusher, but the P©X champion finally gathered his bearings and planted a boot right in the kisser. With Cane stumbling backwards, Krusher came charging out of the corner and nearly took Cane’s head off with a lariat. Krusher immediately yanked "Total Carnage" up and scooped him off the mat. Krusher charged into the same corner and tossed Cane face first into the turnbuckle pad. While Trevor Cane was still on the turnbuckle pad, Krusher came up behind him and grabbed him by the hair. The P©X champion then slammed Cane’s skull into the pad ten times, with the crowd keeping count, before stepping back and watching Cane flop to the mat. The match began to pick up speed as Krusher slid to the outside and grabbed a steel chair from ringside. He tossed it in the ring and climbed back in the ring just as "Total Carnage" was getting to his feet.
2nd QUARTER: After sending Cane back to the mat with a well placed elbow between the eyes, Krusher grabbed the steel chair and waited patiently as Cane grabbed the ropes and made his way to his feet. Krusher pulled back and swung at Cane, but "Total Carnage" managed to duck underneath the chair. Krusher went around, and when he regained his composure, Cane was waiting with a suspiciously low boot to the gut. Krusher dropped the chair and with the champion bent over, Cane grabbed Krusher’s head and planted him into the chair with a DDT. Both men were on the mat, the steel chair separating them, as the referee checked on them. Trevor Cane began to move towards the chair, but just as he was about to grab it, Krusher reached over and grabbed his hand. The two men began exchanging blows on the mat fighting over the chair. Krusher got the upperhand and eventually Cane had to slide to the outside of the ring to get away from the vicious right hands. Cane thought he was going to catch a breather and was oblivious to Krusher sliding out of the ring on the opposite side. As Cane grabbed onto the steel ring post to turn the corner, he immediately realized the mistake. Krusher was there and caught Cane’s arm as he tried to turn to get away. Cane was yanked right into the steel ring post. Krusher then scooped Cane and dropped him throat first onto the guardrail.
3rd QUARTER: While Cane was lying on the arena floor, the P©X champion walked over to one of the tables and set it up right next to his opponent’s body. Krusher then grabbed Cane, slammed him facefirst into the guardrail for good measure, and then placed him on top of the table. Krusher then went up the ring steps and across the outside of the apron. As Krusher was measuring Cane, "Total Carnage" realized his predicament and immediately rolled off the table, sending himself into the arena floor. Krusher only shrugged, hopped off the ring apron and picked up the table, folded it, and slid it into the ring. Cane went for another low blow, but Krusher caught Cane’s fist in his own hand. Cane looked to be in excruciating pain as Krusher squeezed Cane’s hand in his own. Cane then sent a left hook into the jaw of Krusher which broke the hold. Krusher slammed the double axehandle across the back of the neck of Cane, but "Total Carnage" managed to pull himself, with the aid of electrical wires, underneath the ring. The P©X champion began pacing around the ring pulling the sides of the ring up to check to see where Cane might be, but it was all for naught as every time it was empty. Krusher then climbed the ring ropes, and placed a single foot into the ring and slammed it into the mat repeatedly. Seconds later, on the same exact side of the ring where Krusher was, Cane poked his head out.
END: Krusher’s planned worked, and as Cane looked up, he saw 273 pounds come flying off the side of the ring as the P©X champion drove a knee smack dab into his face. Things never got better for Cane as King Krusher showed the entire wrestling world why he was the P©X champion. Krusher grabbed Cane and the electrical wire he was clinging to and wrapped the wire around "Total Carnage’s" neck. Cane slowly, but surely, began to turn blue. However, this is a tables match, and Krusher wouldn’t win by death, so he released the electrical wiring and watched as Cane fell at his feet. Krusher grabbed his opponent and slid him into the ring, following shortly after. With the crowd beginning to get worked up, Krusher grabbed Cane and nailed the reverse neckbreaker. Without missing a beat, the champion grabbed "Total Carnage" and brought him up. He gave the signal and then nailed Cane with the Slingshot Brainbuster! However, he had something a little more in mind to finish "Total Carnage" off. The fans got out of their chairs as Krusher set the table up in the ring and placed Cane on the turnbuckle. Krusher then joined Cane up top … and in one swift move, Krusher sent Cane crashing through the table with a belly-to-back superplex! Cane was left in the middle of the ring amidst the broken table while King Krusher rose to his feet, the P©X championship belt joining him shortly after.
WINNER: King Krusher after sending Trevor Cane through the table with a belly-to-back superplex at 12:10.
(SFX: Bell rings.)
LINKS: "The winner of this match …. The PRODIGY© CLASSIC XTREME CHAMPION ….. KING … KRUSHER!"
(Fans pop huge!)
GHEORGHE: "Whatever damage Chaos did to Cane before the match was just intensified ten times!"
JIVE: "Krusher manages to sneak out another victory … He has Chaos to thank for that!"
GHEORGHE: "King Krusher is an incredible athlete… and he proved it once again here tonight!"
JIVE: "But how much longer do you think Krusher can compete with the stars of this generation?"
GHEORGHE: "The P©X champion is a star in his own right, Nick! What is it going to take for you to acknowledge that?"
JIVE: "Let me go find Erik Black and maybe I can find out for ya."
GHEORGHE: (Shaking his head) "Ladies and gentlemen we are getting ready for our next match … it’s tag team action here on RAUCOUS!"
JIVE: "Two of the WFW:NE’s greatest talents … against Shawn Hart and Otto Pearl."
GHEORGHE: "The former New ERA Television champion Mr. Entertainment and the always unorthodox Peter File … against Otto Pearl and the SOLE New ERA of Wrestling World Heavyweight champion Shawn Hart… this should be one hell of a match!"
JIVE: "So quick running your mouth and let’s get the beatdown started!"
(CUTTO: Inside the ring. The lineup comes on screen.)
Mr. Entertainment & Peter File vs. Otto Pearl & Shawn Jessica Hart, PhD (c)
LINKS: "The following match is scheduled for one fall and is a tag team match! Introducing first…"
(CUEUP: "That’s Entertainment!" by the Jam. The crowd begins to jeer as two spotlights light up the top of the rampway. Stepping into one of them is the former Television champion, Mr. Entertainment. Practically slithering into the other is "the Sultan of Twat" Peter File, his partner.)
GHEORGHE: "An unlikely pairing between these two, that’s for sure."
JIVE: "Everytime I come within a thousand feet of Peter File I can’t help but wonder if I should immediate go see an infectious disease doctor.."
LINKS: "Coming to the ring … at a combined weight of 459 pounds … the SULTAN of (she rolls her eyes) TWAT … PETER FILE … and the former New ERA Television champion… MISTER …. ENTERTAINMENT!"
GHEORGHE: "Although you wouldn’t know it by looking at Mr. Entertainment, the crowd cannot stand these two men!"
JIVE: "What are you talking about? They LOVE Mr. Entertainment and Peter File!"
(CUEUP: "Nobody Does It Better" by Carly Simon. The crowd pops HUGE as an interlaced montage of Otto Pearl and Shawn Hart plays on the big screens. Pearl steps through the curtain first to a pop, followed by Hart who receives an eardrum destroying pop.)
LINKS: "And their opponents…. At a combined weight of 552 pounds…. OTTO PEARL … and the New ERA of Wrestling WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION …… SHAWN … HART!"
GHEORGHE: "The crowd is on their feet as Hart and Pearl make their way to the ring!"
JIVE: "Peter File and Mr. Entertainment are strategizing though.."
GHEORGHE: "The New ERA World Heavyweight champion steps into the ring … and the fans here in Memphis are giving him a standing ovation!"
JIVE: "They’re acting like the match has already ended!"
GHEORGHE: "For his win at Unplugged, Nick."
JIVE: "Ugh, get over it."
(SFX: Bell rings.)
GHEORGHE: "There’s the bell .. and it looks like Otto Pearl is heading to the corner.."
BEGINNING: Peter File and Shawn Hart started things out. File, obviously annoyed at being placed in another tag team match, took out his frustration on the New ERA World Heavyweight champion. As Hart was coming in, File quickly doubled him over with a kick to the gut. He grabbed Hart’s head and planted him into the mat with a DDT. File got to his feet and ignored the call by his tag team partner for the tag. Instead, File grabbed the New ERA World Heavyweight champion and dragged him over to the ropes. Hooking Hart’s legs, File catapulted Hart up in the air and caused his throat to jam on the top rope. Hart rested there for approximately three seconds before plopping on the mat. File relentlessly drove forearms into the face of his opponent until the referee stepped in. Finally, after grabbing Shawn Hart by the hair and dragging him all the way across the ring, File tagged in Mr. Entertainment. Entertainment continued the assault by bringing Hart to his feet and connecting with a beautiful belly to belly suplex. Entertainment made the quick cover, but Hart was able to kick out. Entertainment then brought Hart to his feet and sent him into the ropes, or attempted to, as Hart reversed the irish whip. Entertainment rebounded against the ropes and was met with a standing dropkick to the face. Hart took the opportunity of Entertainment’s momentary sensory loss to crawl over his opponent and make the tag to Otto Pearl. Pearl hopped over the top rope and met Mr. Entertainment as he got to his feet, however Entertainment was back in the game and jammed the knee into Pearl’s stomach and followed it up with a knee lift.
2nd QUARTER: The former Television champion brought Otto Pearl to the corner and placed him on the second rope, but Pearl fought back. Pearl grabbed onto Entertainment’s head and went for a spinning DDT, but Entertainment grabbed onto the top rope sending Pearl crashing to his back. Mr. Entertainment charged out of the corner and dropped a huge leg across the throat of Pearl and covered for a two count. Mr. Entertainment quickly tagged in Peter File and then grabbed and held Pearl as File got into the ring. File ran against the ropes and came back with a spinning heel kick which nearly took Pearl’s head off. Nearly because Pearl managed to use his weight to throw himself to the ground causing File to nail Mr. Entertainment in the face. File got to his feet and had a hissy fit while Pearl used the time to tag the New ERA World Heavyweight champion into the match. Hart came flying at File crushing him with the Lou Thesz press. File, apparently enjoying it a bit too much for Hart’s liking, was quickly scooped up off the mat. Hart applied a standing Cobra Clutch and then leaped forward drilling File’s face into the mat with a Cobra Clutch bulldog. Hart went for a cover, but File easily got out before the two count. Shawn Hart grabbed the right leg of File and leaped high into the air dropping all of his weight down on the knee of the Sultan of Twat. File wrenched in pain and tried to grab at the World Heavyweight champion as he applied a leg lock. Luckily for File, his tag team partner wasn’t about to let their opponents get the upper hand, and illegally entered the ring and clotheslined Hart in the back of the head. The referee immediately threatened disqualification if Entertainment didn’t go back to his corner. Entertainment complied. The damage was done.
3rd QUARTER: Peter File and Mr. Entertainment made quick tags to keep themselves fresh and Shawn Hart from getting any opportunity to tag in his partner. Otto Pearl was forced to watch from the outside as Hart was pummeled. After Mr. Entertainment took the World Heavyweight champion to the mat with a swinging neckbreaker, he tagged File in for what looked like would be some more double teaming. However, the referee wasn’t about to have any of this and immediately went over to make sure the former Television champion exited the ring. In the confusion, Shawn Hart actually made his way to the corner and tagged in his partner Otto Pearl. Pearl came at File with a head of steam and caught him off guard nailing a picture perfect bridging German Suplex. The referee nearly made the three count until he realized it was Pearl making the pin. He stopped and ordered Pearl to exit the ring, not knowing that the pin was made since Hart was still in the ring, albeit by his corner. Pearl was forced to exit the ring and wait until Hart re-made the tag. Once Hart did so, Pearl went for the cover but only got a one count. Pearl, frustrated, grabbed Peter File and sent him into the corner chest first. File hit the corner, although not how Pearl thought. File managed to brace himself with his hands and waited as Otto Pearl came charging in behind him. When Pearl leapt in the air for a Stinger Splash, Peter File pulled himself out of the corner and watched as Pearl faceplanted the steel post. Pearl went down like a recently cut tree and File made the cover for the almost victory. Pearl managed to get his foot on the bottom rope before the three count. File, ignoring Pearl, went to the corner and tagged in Mr. Entertainment.
END: Entertainment manhandled Otto Pearl. He brought the fan favorite up and drilled the shoulder with a shoulderbreaker. Then, after surveying the ring, he went to the second rope, zoned in, and perfectly placed an elbow right into the sternum of his opponent. Entertainment made the cover, but once more Pearl was able to get his foot on the bottom rope. Mr. Entertainment tagged in Peter File and as File climbed to the top rope, Mr. Entertainment placed Otto Pearl on his shoulders. Shawn Hart was back on his feet and saw what was going on, so he charged Entertainment from behind. Probably not the best thing to do. File, who had his head down as he was climbing the ropes, looked up just in time to see Shawn Hart clip the knee of Entertainment from behind. Entertainment ended up dropping down and Pearl, who was on his shoulders, went flying into the ropes. Thankfully Peter File likes nutplay. While being nutshotted on the turnbuckle pad would turn most men into screaming little girls, Peter File simply hopped off the turnbuckle pads and shoved his hand down the front of his pants to re-adjust himself. The New ERA World Heavyweight champion got to his feet and was immediately met by File who grabbed him and tossed him over the top rope to the arena floor. After pushing Mr. Entertainment to the outside, Peter File licked his lips and slowly walked over to the body of Otto Pearl. File stood over him and wiggled his hips before dropping down placing his knees on Pearl’s shoulders and his crotch on Pearl’s face. The experience caught an already lethargic Otto Pearl off guard and the referee made the count.
WINNERS: Peter File and Mr. Entertainment via pinfall after File pinned Pearl at 17:09.
(SFX: Bell rings.)
LINKS: "The winners of this match by pinfall… PETER FILE ….. and MISTER … ENTERTAINMENT!"
(The crowd jeers hardcore as the two men have their hands raised.)
GHEORGHE: "What a feather in the cap for those two men! Getting a victory over the New ERA World Heavyweight champion is something to be happy with, that’s for sure!"
JIVE: "Look at the fans! Their egos are deflated! It’s great!"
GHEORGHE: "Oh cut them some slack, Nick!"
JIVE: "What?! After all the taunting they did at Peter File and Mr. Entertainment?! I don’t think so … these half-brained bitches deserve it!"
GHEORGHE: "Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve got to take a commercial break… but when we come back … John Doe … Chaos … it’s going to get hot in here!"
JIVE: "Hot? Try deadly!"
GHEORGHE: "We are just moments away from the next match here at RAUCOUS … two men .. violent history… I’m talking about former PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme champions John Doe and Chaos!"
JIVE: "As you may know, I’ve never been a fan of John Doe … and I highly doubt that he’s got what it takes to go one on one with an unstoppable force like Chaos."
GHEORGHE: "Chaos undoubtedly the greatest PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme champions in New ERA of Wrestling history… and it looks like he wants to continue the tradition here in the WFW:NE!"
JIVE: "Well we already know that we’re going to have a snoozefest at Destrucity II between Krusher and Johnson …. That is …. Unless Chaos gets his hands on Krusher before then!"
GHEORGHE: "Anything can happen, Nick.. only time will tell between here and Las Vegas! Let’s go up to Jamie Links and get this match started!"
JIVE: "You mean this bloodbath!"
(CUTTO: Inside the ring. Links stands ready as the lineup comes on screen.)
John Doe vs. Chaos
LINKS: "The following match is scheduled from one fall and has a thirty minute time limit! Introducing first…"
(CUEUP: "Who Said" by Planet Funk. Pyro goes off at the top of the rampway as John Doe steps through the curtain. He walks down the rampway and ignores the fans as they try to touch him.)
LINK: "Standing six foot one and weighing in at 210 pounds… he is a former New ERA PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme champion… JOHN …. DOE!"
(Doe slides into the ring and goes to a corner … waiting.)
GHEORGHE: "It was back on January 12, 2006 at RAUCOUS when Doe defeated Chaos in a Leather Strap match for the P©X championship …. And here we are three and a half years alter as these two are about to go at it once again!"
JIVE: "Chaos won the championship back though on the 3 year anniversary RAUCOUS in a Scaffold and Chairs match … and I think the result is going to pretty similar here tonight."
(CUEUP: "You Could Be Mine" by Guns n’ Roses. The crowd hops to their feet as they hear what sounds like a truck horn.)
JIVE: "What the hell is that noise?!"
(Coming from the side of the rampway is a huge Home Depot truck, with Chaos in the driver’s seat! He lays on the horn as he pulls up the aisle.. Stopping in a little nook, he gets out of the truck and heads to the back…)
GHEORGHE: "Well, Home Depot is a sponsor…"
LINKS: "And his opponent…. Hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada …. He is a former New ERA Television AND PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme champion……. CHAOS!"
(Chaos swings open the doors and tons of toys come tumbling out … what Chaos would consider toys, that is.)
GHEORGHE: "OH MY… CHAOS HAS BROUGHT A MINI HOME DEPOT WITH HIM!"
(Chaos starts chucking shit at the ring. Mouse traps, pieces of lumber, handsaws. The crowd begins to pop as a new piece of equipment is thrown toward the ring. The referee hops out and charges towards Chaos a stern look on his face!)
JIVE: "Chaos is trying to make this into a hardcore match… but he’s not the P©X champion .. he can’t go around making his own rules anymore!"
GHEORGHE: "Chaos arguing with the referee ….. and now the referee heading to the ring .. and he’s talking to Doe! What is going on here!"
JIVE: "I don’t know, but John Doe is fixated on Chaos … and finally the referee going over to Jamie Links to get this match officially started.."
(Links looks at the crowd..)
LINKS: "Ladies and gentlemen… I have just been informed by the referee, that per the agreement of both parties …. This match …. WILL BE A NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH!"
GHEORGHE: "NO DQ?!"
JIVE: "Doe just signed his death certificate.."
GHEORGHE: "Chaos coming to the ring holding god KNOWS what… and he’s sliding in!"
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JIVE: "Let the massacre begin!"
BEGINNING: The bad blood between the two men didn’t seem to have cooled despite the length of time between the last time they were in the ring. Chaos came charging towards John Doe with a 2x4 in his hand, but Doe was alert enough to sidestep the big man. Chaos ran into the ropes and was repelled backwards. Doe hopped onto his back and applied a sleeper. Chaos grabbed at Doe, but couldn’t quite grab onto him, and eventually resorted to spinning around hoping to get Doe dizzy. After dropping the 2x4 and realizing that didn’t work as well as Chaos planned, he threw himself backwards into the corner, crushing Doe in between him and the turnbuckle. The former P©X champion turned and picked Doe out of the corner, his grip firmly around the neck of his opponent. In one fell swoop, Chaos picked up Doe, spun around, and drove him into the mat with the chokeslam, Doe’s head hitting the 2x4 with force. The referee was down for the count, but Chaos didn’t cover. Chaos got to his feet, bringing Doe with him, and sat his opponent in the corner. Chaos then proceeded to pummel Doe with lefts and rights until Doe was slumped to the mat. The big man lifted his humongous boot and placed it right on the throat of Doe choking him. The referee moved in and began to count Chaos, but Chaos reminded him the match was No DQ. After a few more chokehold variations that caused the referee to get more and more impatient, Chaos finally brought Doe into the center of the ring. Hooking Doe around the waist, Chaos brought him waist level, which, for Chaos, is deceptively high, and drilled him with the sidewalk slam. Chaos finally allowed the referee to make the count, but John Doe was able to get out before the three. Chaos taunted Doe while he was on the mat.
2nd QUARTER: While both men are former P©X champions, Chaos was adamant about proving Doe was a floozy. Chaos waited for Doe to get to his feet before grabbing him and tossing him over the top rope to the arena floor. Chaos then stepped over the top rope and dropped to the arena floor. Chaos reached down to pick Doe up, but John Doe seemed to have gotten a second wind. As soon as Doe reached his feet, with Chaos’ help of course, he placed two fingers right in the big man’s eyes. As Chaos recoiled, Doe grabbed the back of Chaos’ head and slammed it into the announce table. Chaos, stunned, turned to get away. Doe ran up from behind and drove a jumping knee to the back sending Chaos stumbling straight into the steel ring post. Pushing the ring attendant out of his chair, John Doe reeled back and would have hit Chaos’ head out of the arena … if it weren’t for the steel post behind him. Doe ran to the pile of weapons and grabbed a hammer. Holding the hammer facing backwards, he drove it through the flesh of Chaos’ arm, causing the big man to let out a holler. With the match finally going in his direction, Doe grabbed Chaos and rolled him back into the ring, and tossed in a weed whacker and some trash cans. Doe, instead of following, climbed to the top rope while Chaos lay in the middle of the ring. With his arms outstretched, Doe came flying off the top rope and nailed a perfectly executed Five Star Frog Splash! Chaos was squashed, but Doe also took some damage to his rib cage as he was slow to make the cover. When he did, the referee nearly finished the three count before Chaos got his shoulder up.
3rd QUARTER: John Doe climbed onto the chest of Chaos and repeatedly drove closed fists into his opponent’s face. With every punch, though, Chaos seemed to grow stronger and more alert. His eyes wide open staring at Doe with incredible intensity, Doe was mid-motion before Chaos’ arm shot up and grabbed Doe’s entire fist in the palm of his hand. Doe tried to connect with his other fist, but Chaos grabbed that one also. In an incredible show of strength, Chaos managed to get to his feet all the while John Doe was hooked onto his chest with his legs. Chaos got to his feet as Doe pleaded with him to release the grip. A devilish smile came across Chaos’ face as he shook his head no … and then drove Doe into the mat with a powerslam. Chaos then grabbed one of the trash cans and bent it nearly in half over the head of Doe. Chaos nearly lit up when he saw the weed whack next to him and he reached down and grabbed it. John Doe was nearly to his feet, somehow, when Chaos turned and broke the metal stem over Doe’s head causing him to collapse to the mat. Chaos went to the outside and grabbed some of the mouse traps as well as some RAID pest spray. Chaos brought Doe to his feet and tried to attach the mouse traps to the nipples of John Doe. Doe countered by placing a knee where the sun don’t shine. With Chaos doubled over, Doe grabbed his head and used every ounce of strength in his body to bring him up for the piledriver. Only seconds later Chaos’ head was introduced to a metal trashcan. Doe grabbed the Raid and looked around on the mat for a grill lighter…
END: Moments later, as Chaos was getting to his feet Doe lit the lighter … and when Chaos turned, Doe ignited the flame w/ Raid causing a HUGE fireball to go right into the face of the former Television and P©X champion! The Home Depot truck that was driven to the ring earlier suddenly starts up out by the ring entrance. The camera cut to the truck and wouldn’t you know it, Chaos’ brother Psycho is sitting in the driver’s seat. Psycho drove the truck to the ring … make that… THROUGH the ring! Psycho crashed the Home Depot truck through the ring and caused half the ring to collapse!! Psycho hopped out of the truck and hightailed it up the ramp before the officials had a chance to rush down and get him. Meanwhile in the ring Chaos and John Doe were lying amongst the ruins. Both men began to crawl through the carnage and it seemed as if they both had one thing in their sights. Lying exactly in the middle of the two competitors was a sledgehammer. Chaos used his remaining strength to reach the sledgehammer first, and as he got to his feet and picked the heavy object up, he took his eyes off John Doe one second too long. As Chaos looked down at to get his grip on the sledgehammer, John Doe found a sheet of glass that somehow managed to survive the crash. Chaos looked up just in time to have the sheet of glass smashed over his head. Amongst the glass pieces, Chaos slowly toppled over. The referee watched from the outside as John Doe hopped onto the top of the Home Depot truck and flew off nailing a 450 splash. Doe used his remaining strength to hook the leg of Chaos and the referee made the three count from outside the mess!
WINNER: John Doe via pinfall after nailing a 450 Splash off the top of the Home Depot truck at 23:59.
(SFX: Bell rings as the fans explode!)
GHEORGHE: "I can’t believe it!"
JIVE: "THE RING IS DESTROYED!! WE STILL HAVE THE MAIN EVENT!"
LINKS: "The winner of this match … via pinfall….. JOHN …. DOE!"
(The crowd pops again as paramedics rush down to the ring.)
GHEORGHE: "Chaos set John Doe up by having Psycho hiding in the Home Depot truck… but it backfired! John Doe taking a beating .. Chaos taking a beating … and now both men are being looked at by paramedics!"
JIVE: "CHAOS…. He’s pushing the paramedics out of the way! HE IS GETTING TO HIS FEET!"
GHEORGHE: "CHAOS… his arm gashed… bleeding all over the place… he’s clearing house in what’s left of the ring! The paramedics are fleeing …"
JIVE: "Chaos staring a hole into John Doe … and now he’s leaving! Chaos is heading up the ramp!"
GHEORGHE: "I hope, for their sake, that no one gets in his path! We’ve got to take a commercial break.. somehow TRY to get the ring in some usable condition … because up next we have tonight’s main event.. the WFW:NE Television championship is on the line as Cameron Cruise defends against Minion!"
Meeting ... of the Fists!
(CUTTO: Backstage. Chaos is seen storming through the hallway knocking everything over in his path. He turns a corner … BAM! Chaos and King Krusher collide. Chaos, still bloodied, stares at Krusher’s waist, the New ERA PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme championship glimmering in the hallways’ lights.)
(Krusher stares at him, possibly preparing mentally to defend himself and his championship.)
CHAOS: "Take a good look Krusher. You might not like me and those vampires that support me… but Krushe …. you are the P©X champion... it's a HARDCORE championship. I don't care if you’re too old school to defend it the way it should, but I'll tell you one thing KING Krusher.. hell I'll promise this to you -- I'm going to find your weakness Krusher. I’m going to haunt your world till you give me a championship shot…. and if I can't get that from coming after you … well I know you got friends I can come after first. Easy way -- or the painful way Krusher.. it's your choice."
(King Krusher starts to respond, but not before Chaos attacks him with closed fists! Krusher grabs Chaos and spins him around tossing him against the wall. The P©X champion begins to connect with fists to Chaos’ gut… one after another … Chaos smashes a forearm across the jaw of the champion and with force slams him into the opposite wall. Krusher then grabs onto Chaos and both men go to the hallway floor rolling around trying to get the upperhand. Officials and referees start pouring into the hallway to break the two up. It begins to get so crowded that the camera can no longer see the two men … just a sea of black suits.)
GHEORGHE: "CHAOS AND KING KRUSHER!! Brawling in the back!"
JIVE: "Well, you said you hoped no one would run into Chaos …. And it turns out just the RIGHT person did!"
GHEORGHE: "The former and current PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme champions going at it .. and I’m being told that they’re STILL trying to get the two men separated!"
JIVE: "Did you hear what Chaos said? If Krusher wouldn’t give him a shot … he’d start going after his friends…."
GHEORGHE: "Ominous threats by the former champion … ladies and gentlemen we are just moments away from tonight’s main event .. the ring crew has managed to clear out all the trash and broken pieces from the no disqualification match between John Doe and Chaos ….
JIVE: "It looks like they’re finishing putting in the new mat and apron… all that’s left is to tighten all the nuts and bolts.."
GHEORGHE: "The WFW:NE Television championship is on the line tonight … Minion, who has been on a roll since the merger, will be taking on the current Television champion Cameron Cruise!"
JIVE: "Cruise defeated Mr. Entertainment to win the Television championship … angels were on his side then … tonight let’s hope that the farce ends here and now!"
GHEORGHE: "One thing I’ve learned in this business … anything can and WILL happen…"
JIVE: "Looks like they’ve done all they can for the ring .. let’s hope it lasts through the main event!"
(CUTTO: In the ring. The lineup for the main event scrolls on screen.)
Minion vs. Cameron Cruise (c)
LINKS: "The following match is scheduled for one fall and is tonight’s MAIN EVENT …. It will be for the WFW:NE TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first…."
(CUEUP: "Where Boys Fear to Tread" by the Smashing Pumpkins. The crowd watches as Minion comes from behind the curtain and slowly walks to the ring. He looks to pop a few pills in his mouth and then swallows.)
LINKS: "First… the challenger… hailing from New York, New York… standing six foot five and weighing in at 235 pounds…… MINION!"
GHEORGHE: "Winning the Television championship here tonight in Memphis would be a feather in the cap of Minion … something like this could catapult him to the upper echelon here in WFW:NE!"
LINKS: "His opponent…. Hailing from Jacksonville, North Carolina…"
(CUEUP: "Killing in the Name Of" by Rage Against the Machine. Cruise is led to the ring by Mercedes Devon … the Television championship slung across his shoulder.)
LINKS: "Weighing in at 264 pounds ….. he is the CURRENT WFW:NE TELEVISION CHAMPION…… CAMERON…… CRUISE!"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise slides into the ring and hands the championship to the ring attendant….. and now he’s staring across the ring at Minion as the referee goes over the rules with both men…"
(SFX: Bell rings.)
GHEORGHE: "There’s the bell … the battle for the Television championship is now officially underway!!"
JIVE: "The question to ask right now .. did Minion take his pills …. Or are we going to see him revert back to his old ways here tonight?"
GHEORGHE: "Minion has seen the error of his past ways … and thankfully for this medication he’s taking, his little helpers as he says, Minion is starting to turn his life around."
JIVE: "Prescription drugs are such a buzzkill."
GHEORGHE: "Minion staring at Cruise … and now the referee giving them the signal … and both men start moving towards one another!"
JIVE: "Minion has that look in his eyes, Gheorghe… His little helpers better get to work, or else he’s going to fall victim to that old rage.."
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise walking right up to Minion …. And now he’s running his mouth…. Cruise with the finger .. jamming it into the chest of the challenger."
JIVE: "How many times does one need to learn that you don’t tempt a mentally unstable person?"
GHEORGHE: "Minion staring down at Cruise’s finger… AND HE JUST GRABBED IT! Minion has a hold on Cruise’s pointer… and he’s trying to twist it off!"
JIVE: "See! There… you get what you deserve."
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise up on his tippy toes… and finally he uses his free hand to scratch at the eyes of Minion! Minion releases the grip .. and Cruise with a knee to the gut! The Television champion grabbing Minion and brings him into the corner …. SLAMMING THE HEAD INTO THE TURNBUCKLE PAD!"
JIVE: "Minion’s unphased! Minion just returned the favor! Twice… three times…"
(The crowd counts along as Minion slams Cruise’s head into the turnbuckle ten times.)
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise seeing stars right about now … and Minion hooks him and takes him up and over with a belly to belly suplex!"
JIVE: "Cruise is hoping that those pills kick in right about now."
GHEORGHE: "Minion is back on his feet and he catches Cruise …. Minion pushing Cruise back to the ropes … and now he irish whips him …. Cruise against the far ropes …. Here comes Minion …. FLYING FOREARM SENDS CRUISE CRASHING TO THE MAT!"
JIVE: "The Television champion not exactly having the ‘major league’ start that he was talking about leading up to the match.."
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise, love him or hate him, defeated Mr. Entertainment for the championship … and as a self-christened "Blue Collar champion" still has a lot of fight left in him."
JIVE: "Let’s hope so.. for the sake of everyone."
GHEORGHE: "Cruise trying to get back to his feet and stop the momentum of the challenger… Minion comes in with the axeh—no! Cruise with a quick shot to the gut! Cruise behind Minion now … he hooks the leg… hooks the head…. Russian legsweep! The Television champion stopped Minion’s momentum just like that."
JIVE: "Cruise quick to get to his feet, too .. maybe things are turning around."
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise now dragging Minion into the corner… he places one of the legs on the bottom rope … hops up … and comes crashing down on the knee! AND AGAIN! THIRD TIME!"
JIVE: "Could be softening him up for the Cruise Control …"
GHEORGHE: "Although, if Minion’s pills do kick in .. will he be affected?"
JIVE: "I never thought of that! That Minion is a lying, cheating son-of-a-bitch!"
GHEORGHE: "Oh, Nick! Stop!"
JIVE: "Someone get the piss test out here! Test him for steroids while you’re at it!"
GHEORGHE: "He weighs 235 pounds…"
JIVE: "It’s always the smaller ones, you know!"
GHEORGHE: "Anyway! Cruise now bringing Minion up … locks on the front facelock. Minion struggling to get out of it, but Cruise has it locked on tight!"
JIVE: "Cruise isn’t going to let up on Minion … he wasn’t even happy to be in the ring with him as it was! Which, I can see his point!"
GHEORGHE: "Minion’s had a tough schedule since the merger, he’s an incredibly gifted individual."
JIVE: "Well, gifted or not … he’s stuck in the front facelock with nowhere to go."
GHEORGHE: "Minion… Minion now trying to grab onto the Television champion….. he’s locked his arms aro…. BRIDGING NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!! ONE ……………… TWO ……………… KICKOUT!"
JIVE: "What the hell?!?!"
GHEORGHE: "Minion managed to slip into a more agreeable position .. and Cruise almost had the Television championship snatched out from underneath him! He is not happy! Cameron Cruise jumps to his feet and is now stomping away at the chest of the challenger!"
JIVE: "Uh oh! Minion’s eyes are glazing over … his pills have kicked in!"
GHEORGHE: "I think you’re right, Nick!"
JIVE: "When am I ever wrong?"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise continuing to lay into Minion … but Minion is starting to push himself to his feet! Cruise can’t believe it!"
JIVE: "He better believe it … because if he doesn’t try something else, he can kiss the WFW:NE Television championship goodbye!"
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise trying to stop Minion from getting to his feet … he grabs onto the tights of Minion… AND JUST SENT HIM FLYING THROUGH THE TURNBUCKLES! Minion’s shoulder just met that ringpost!"
JIVE: "And let’s just say that the ringpost didn’t move…"
GHEORGHE: "It doesn’t matter whether Minion’s pills have kicked in or not … he’s on the mat holding his shoulder!"
JIVE: "And Cruise is about to take full advantage, too!"
GHEORGHE: "The Television champion now pulling Minion into the middle of the ring by that injured arm …. And he drops the leg across the shoulder! Cruise with a quick cover… ONE ……. TWO ……. THRE—KICKOUT by Minion!"
JIVE: "Slow to kick out there …"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise jumps back to his feet … and by God .. he’s heading to the corner!"
JIVE: "Cruise is a stronger mat technician than he is an aerial star…"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise is straddling the top rope … he’s sizing Minion up .."
JIVE: "Minion is getting to his feet, though!"
GHEORGHE: "Minion better turn around or else he’ll be in a world of pain!"
(SFX: CROWD POPS!)
GHEORGHE: "AND CRUISE COMES FLYING OFF WITH THE MISSILE DROPKICK! Minion just went head over heels!"
JIVE: "Cruise didn’t go up there for that, but he was able to change his strategy on the fly!"
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise slowly getting to his feet .. and he falls on top of Minion…. ONE …………. TW—NO! Minion getting the shoulder up!"
JIVE: "The challenger might give Cruise a bigger fight than he realized .."
GHEORGHE: "Cruise slamming the mat in frustration as he gets to his feet … and now he heads back into the corner!"
JIVE: "He’s not going to try this again, is he?"
GHEORGHE: "No… Cruise just standing in the corner waiting for Minion to get to his feet … Minion almost up .. he turns .. AND HERE COMES CRUISE!"
(SFX: FANS POP HUGE!)
GHEORGHE: "AND MINION DUCKED THE CLOTHESLINE! Cruise goes crashing into the opposite corner! Cruise stumbling backwards….. AND MINION WITH THE FLYING BULLDOG TAKES THE TELEVISION CHAMPION DOWN!"
JIVE: "Both men looking worse for wear … they almost look as bad as the fans do after a Jean Rabesque marathon!"
GHEORGHE: "Oh stop it!"
JIVE: "You’re right, Gheorghe … they’re still alive.. my bad."
GHEORGHE: "Both men are on their stomachs … and now it looks like Minion is making the first move! Minion is using the turnbuckle pads to get to his feet …."
GHEORGHE: "And now Cruise is moving! Cruise is following Minion .. and he’s using the challenger to get to his feet!"
JIVE: "Minion isn’t appreciating that, though! Minion with some fists trying to keep the champ on the mat!"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise isn’t going down! BOTH MEN ARE ON THEIR FEET!"
JIVE: "Here we go!"
GHEORGHE: "Both men trading blows in the corner … but the Television champion is too strong! Cruise getting the upperhand .. and he lays some European uppercuts right into the jaw of Minion! Cruise grabs the arm and sends Minion into the opposite corner with an irish whip … and he follows him in!"
JIVE: "STINGER SPLASH!"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise with the splash onto Minion in the opposite corner! Minion just squashed .. and now he falls backwards onto the mat!"
JIVE: "COVER HIM!"
GHEORGHE: "It looks like it crossed Cruise’s mind, but the Television champion grabbing Minion’s legs …. And he locks on the Boston Crab!"
JIVE: "Cruise has the fingers locked, and Minion looks like he’s taking a hell of a beating … but I don’t think he’s going to give, Gheorghe…"
GHEORGHE: "Even if he doesn’t, Cameron Cruise is sure as hell keeping him on the mat!"
JIVE: "Minion’s used to being on the mat, really.. spends most of his time on his back in there as it is!"
GHEORGHE: "Minion is trying to get to the ropes … they’re within his reach!"
JIVE: "Cruise should have at least pulled Minion out of the corner before locking onto the hold .. but who knows what he was thinking!"
GHEORGHE: "I’m sure the only thing Cameron Cruise is thinking right now is ‘win the match … keep the belt!’"
JIVE: "And here I was thinking it was more along the lines of ‘……………’"
GHEORGHE: "Do you want me to check to see if Minion can spare some pills for you?"
JIVE: "Would you do that for me, really?!"
GHEORGHE: "MINION HAS REACHED THE ROPES! He managed to grab onto the bottom rope with the tips of his fingers and the referee is calling for the break! ONE … TWO .. THRE … and Cruise breaks the Boston Crab!"
JIVE: "The real question is whether or not that will have any effect on the drugged one."
GHEORGHE: "Cruise wanting to get right back in there, but the referee holding him back while Minion rests on the ropes.."
JIVE: "The referee is playing favorites in there .. let them fight to the death!"
GHEORGHE: "This isn’t Rome…"
JIVE: "WELL IT SHOULD BE!"
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise turns to walk away… BUT SPINS AROUND AND DIVES ONTO MINION!! CRUISE NOW SLAMMING THE HEAD OF MINION INTO THE MAT!"
JIVE: "The Television champion taking initiative!"
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise driving Minion’s head into the mat …. And I think Minion might be busted open!"
JIVE: "Yep! I see some blood on the apron … and the crimson mask is slowly starting to form!"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise getting to his feet… and he drags Minion up! CAMERON CRUISE HOOKS THE WAIST…. GUTWRENCH SUPLEX!"
JIVE: "He covers him! Cruise retains tonight! ONE ……….. TWO ……………….. THREE!!!"
GHEORGHE: "NO! NO! NO! Minion kicked out! The challenger running on pure instinct! Cruise sitting up and he does NOT look happy, Nick!"
JIVE: "Would you be happy if your opponent was delaying the inevitable?"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise getting to his feet … and he brings Minion up again! Cruise hookin… NO!! MINION WITH A HEADBUTT!!"
JIVE: "And now Cameron Cruise has a CRIMSON MASK…. Via Minion’s blood!"
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise trying to wipe the blood from his eyes…. AND MINION WITH AN INVERTED ATOMIC DROP!!"
(SFX: FANS POP HUGE!!!)
GHEORGHE: "AND MINION IS HEADING TO THE ROPES!"
JIVE: "What the hell are those pills he’s been taking?! Jesus Christ!"
GHEORGHE: "The Television champion simultaneously holding his lower regions and his face … and he doesn’t even see Minion! MINION IS UP TOP!!!"
(SFX: FANS EXPLODE~~!~!~~!)
GHEORGHE: "CORKSCREW MOONSAULT ONTO THE TELEVISION CHAMPION!!! ONE …………………. TWO ………………. THREE!!! WE HAVE A NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION!!!"
(SFX: A GOD POP!!! Followed by a disappointed "Ohhhh…")
JIVE: "The referee saying NO! Cruise got out before the three!"
GHEORGHE: "Minion hopped to his feet! But the referee now telling him that it was only a two count!"
JIVE: "Oh no! He’s heading back up top! Come on Cruise, get up!!!"
GHEORGHE: "The Television champion lying motionless on the mat … and Minion .. he’s straddling the top rope…. HE’s CALLING FOR IT!!"
(SFX: GOD POP!!!)
GHEORGHE: "FALL FROM GRACE!!! FALL FRO…"
JIVE: "CRUISE PUT UP THE KNEES!!!"
GHEORGHE: "BY GOD!! Minion went for the Senton Bomb …. And landed right on the knees of Cameron Cruise!!!"
JIVE: "Let’s see Minion get up from THAT!"
GHEORGHE: "Both men are lying in the middle of the ring… their faces bloodied…"
JIVE: "Thanks to Minion!"
GHEORGHE: "The fans are on their feet and they are starting to clap .. trying to get Minion up.. they really want to see him redeem himself here in Memphis!"
JIVE: "I’d like to see some of these people redeem themselves in Jenny Craig…"
GHEORGHE: "WAIT!! CRUISE!! CRUISE SAT UP!"
GHEORGHE: "AND THERE’s MINION!! MINION CRAWLING TO THE ROPES!"
JIVE: "Whoever can get to their feet first will be the Television champion!"
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise doesn’t notice Minion … and he’s sitting there!"
JIVE: "COME ON CRUISE!! GET ON YOUR FEET!"
GHEORGHE: "Minion has gotten to the ropes!!! HE IS ALMOST UP!"
JIVE: "Now Cruise finally getting up!"
GHEORGHE: "MINION ON HIS FEET!! CRUISE ON HIS FEET!!"
JIVE: "And they just turned and saw each other!!!"
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise coming in … AND MINION WITH A BOOT TO THE GUT! Minion with an irish whip sending Cruise into the ropes!! Cruise on the return .. Minion puts his head down ….. AND CRUISE STOPS SHORT!!"
JIVE: "PLOW HIM!"
GHEORGHE: "The Television champion standing there… Minion looks up …….. AND CRUISE GRABS HIM!!! REALITY CHECK!! REALITY CHECK!!! ONE …………………. TWO …………………… THREE!!!!"
(SFX: Bell rings. Crowd begins to jeer!)
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise retains the WFW:NE Television championship!!!"
JIVE: "Minion had him right where he wanted Cruise .. and made one final, fatal mistake!"
LINKS: "The winner of this match …… and STILL WFW:NE TELEVISION CHAMPION….."
(CUEUP: "Killing in the Name Of" by Rage Against the Machine.)
LINKS: "CAMERON ….. CRUISE!!!"
GHEORGHE: "What a match .. and what a defense of the championship by Cameron Cruise!"
JIVE: "Minion just couldn’t keep up with Cruise … and walks away from another match disappointed.. let’s hope he’s got plenty of pills backstage … because he’s going to need ALL of them to keep sane."
GHEORGHE: "Ladies and gentlemen .. we are OUT … OF … TIME! Thank you for joining us here at the FedEx Forum in Memphis, Tennessee for another exciting episode of WFW:NE RAUCOUS! We’ll be joining you next from the Allstate Arena in Rosemont, Illinois for RAUCOUS … and be sure to catch the next WFW:NE Almost Live as Brandon and Jonathan .. and yes, even "NOT" Vic venture to Louisville, Kentucky and Freedom Hall!"
JIVE: "They always get the exciting places……."
GHEORGHE: "GOOD NIGHT!"
( the end )