[ Greenfield Stadium ] Trelawny, Jamaica
TAPED: May 04, 2007
AIRED: May 19, 2007
EPISODE: RAUCOUS 31
(FADEIN: The office of New ERA President Marcus LaRoque. LaRoque sits at his desk, hands on a stack of papers, as he looks across at a man sitting in the chair.)
LaROQUE: "It’s all set in stone. The World Heavyweight Championship match .. to end them all."
(The man in the chair nods.)
LaROQUE: "There’s just one thing."
(LaRoque flips the first page over as the man places his hands on the desk.)
(LaRoque places his John Hancock on the bottom line.)
LaROQUE: "The stipulations."
(The hands slowly curl into fists.)
MAN: "WHAT stipulations?"
(LaRoque flips the first page back over onto the top of the pile and closes the folder, placing the pen on top.)
LaROQUE: "Don’t worry, Larry … You’ll find out tonight."
(CUTTO: As the camera pans back and we see as Larry Tact turns from the desk, a fire in his eye, and walks towards the door. He opens it and slams it shut as he walks out. The camera focuses on the door before fading to black… the logo for RAUCOUS slowly appears from the blackness as "Who Said" by Planet Funk cues up.)
(CUTTO: Inside Greenfield Stadium in Trelawny, Jamaica. The fans in attendance are waving Jamaican flags as well as holding signs for their favorite wrestlers. The Jamaican National Anthem can be heard finishing as "Who Said" by Planet Funk also dies down. CUTTO: Tom Gheorghe, Nick Jive, and Dean Julius sitting at the announce table.)
GHEORGHE: "WELCOME EVERYONE …. to the FINAL New ERA RAUCOUS before the joint EPW / New ERA PAY PER VIEW!!"
JIVE: "This is going to be the biggest event of the year .. hell the past few years!"
GHEORGHE: "There’s going to be .. over 14 matches on the pay per view held across two days .. every single championship on the line .. four huge main events … and some of the best wrestling you will ever see."
JULIUS: "I saw some mud wrestling last night on this triple X channel, Gheorghe .. and that was pretty damn good .. so I’ll be the judge of whether or not the joint pay per view will have the best wrestling I’ll ever see."
GHEORGHE: "And everyone, if you thought last RAUCOUS was explosive .. just wait until you see tonight’s action. The World Heavyweight Championship is on the line … as the Phantom Republican will take on World Heavyweight champion Jonathan Marx … Marx no longer has John Doe to do his dirty work .. and let’s not forget that it was the Phantom Republican who Marx won his first World Heavyweight Championship from!"
JIVE: "You’re forgetting one important detail, Gheorghe … or should I say four details?"
GHEORGHE: "That’s right! Tonight’s match is a LUMBERJACK match … and those lumberjacks? Why they are the four other men who will be involved in the HUGE main event for New ERA at the joint pay per view.."
JULIUS: "Talk about placing a match in a powder keg, huh?"
JIVE: "No countouts .. No disqualifications .. the only way to win that match will be by pinfall, submission, or an Act of God."
GHEORGHE: "With Phantom Republican defeating Larry Tact last week on RAUCOUS to get the title shot tonight, you can definitely sense the growing anomisity between all the competitors in the joint pay per view match for the World Heavyweight Championship .. and now we just find out .. that there’s going to be a stipulation added to the match!"
JULIUS: "And that’s fundamentally unfair to Larry Tact!! The World Heavyweight Championship match at the joint pay per view is Larry Tact’s brainchild … and now Marcus LaRoque is trying to throw a wrench in it! I don’t even know why Tact bothers with New ERA anymore?"
GHEORGHE: "What’s that supposed to mean?!"
JULIUS: "When he won the World Heavyweight Championship way back in 2004, Juliet Marceau tried to run him from the organization .. now he’s only one show away from regaining the Championship … and Marcus LaRoque is doing everything in his power to keep him from the Championship!"
GHEORGHE: "Oh stop it! Obviously Marcus LaRoque only has the best interest of New ERA as he plans to announce this stipulation .."
JIVE: "And by that you mean .. he only has the best interest of New ERA’s bank account in his mind."
GHEORGHE: "That bank account pays my bills .. and yours, too!"
JULIUS: "No .. Jive’s sugar daddy pays his bills."
GHEORGHE: "Aside from the main event .. we have not one .. but TWO semifinals matches for the World Tag Team Championship tournament tonight … which means that tonight we will also find out which two teams will be heading into the joint pay per view to face off in the second of New ERA’s main events!"
JIVE: "All four teams here tonight couldn’t be any more different… but there’s clearly one team that’s a cut above the rest."
GHEORGHE: "Well first we have Jack n’ Hoff, coming off a disappointing loss against the Inner Circle last RAUCOUS, taking on Bored of Edukashun, who have been red hot winning their Wild Card round match and then dismantling the competition last week."
JULIUS: "Bored of Edukashun mesh well as a team .. and while Jack n’ Hoff certainly have heart .. its going to be Hensen and Wentworth in the finals .. you can count on that."
GHEORGHE: "I think these two teams are very evenly matched. They might find it hard to gain the advantage over their opponents .. and it should be one of the most hotly contested matches of the night!"
JIVE: "It’s certainly going to be more contested than when the Inner Circle sacrifices Saviors of Wrestling to the Tag Team Gods."
JULIUS: "Adam Benjamin and Chandler Maxwell are in over their heads .. and I almost feel sorry for them .. before I realize that they’re British."
GHEORGHE: "Benjamin and Maxwell are one of the premier teams in the sport. If there was one team that I would bet on stopping the Inner Circle in this tournament, it would be them."
JIVE: "Thank God you don’t gamble, Gheorghe."
GHEORGHE: "I’m telling you guys.. Benjamin and Maxwell have such respect for the game .. and they have such talent … you may find yourselves surprised."
JULIUS: "I’ll be surprised if I make it through the night not plastered."
JIVE: "I don’t even try anymore…"
GHEORHGE: "I can tell… but first things first .. we got three other matches … Tina Davis makes her in ring debut as she takes on John Doe … Rex Reynolds is back in action here in New ERA as he tangles with ‘the Dark Phenom’ Nakita Dahaka … and there’s a triple threat match that could get incredibly interesting as Jared Wells, Cameron Cruise, and Peter File will be in the ring at the same time .. with the first fall deciding the match!"
JIVE: "After what broke down last week in the tag match .. you know that both Dahaka and Doe are looking for victories to reverse course … and I heard that on the plane here they were STILL bickering about it."
JULIUS: "I’m surprised anyone can actually bicker with John Doe .. isn’t that sort of like arguing with a wall? You just sit there talking to it .. and slowly feel yourself dropping IQ points like they were coins in a slot machine?"
GHEORGHE: "Speaking of Nakita Dahaka … I’m being told that we are ready for our first match of the evening .. which just happens to be the match between Dahaka and ‘the Future’ Rex Reynolds!"
JIVE: "Reynolds first match back since losing in the semi-finals of the P©X Championship tournament to Dallas Carter … and you’ve got to wonder if there may be any ring rust running through his veins?"
GHEROGHE: "I doubt it, Nick. Reynolds was always a fantastic wrestler .. and I’m sure while he wasn’t here in New ERA, he was definitely keeping himself in shape, and ready for action!"
JULIUS: "Sort of like Jive at a gay bar .. except for the keeping himself in shape part.."
GHEORGHE: "Ha, ha! Let’s go to Carl Jacobs for the ring introductions!"
(CUTTO: Inside the ring as the lineup flashes on screen.)
Nakita Dahaka vs. Rex Reynolds
JACOBS: "Ladies and gentleman .. the following match is scheduled for one fall and has a THIRTY MINUTE TIME LIMIT! Introducing first …"
(CUEUP: "Price to Pay" by Staind. The lights flicker as ‘the Future’ steps from behind the curtains and walks to the ring, focusing on the match ahead of him.)
JACOBS: "He stands six foot four …. and weighs 258 pounds … hailing from Greenville, South Carolina …. ‘the Future’ REX …. REYOLDS!!"
GHEORGHE: "Reynolds was well on his way to possibly becoming the first ever PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme champion .. but he ran into a roadblock in Dallas Carter in the Buried Alive match .. and then disappeared!"
JIVE: "Tonight he’s back .. and he’s got ‘the Dark Phenom’ to deal with … we’ll see if he’s going to be the Rex Reynolds who won the newcomer battle royal to move on in the tournament .. or the Rex Reynolds who got buried in the dirt mound by Dallas Carter."
(CUEUP: "Gently" by Slipknot. The lights go completely off as the crowd quiets. A thick fog rolls out as blacklights illuminate the area. ‘the Dark Phenom’ steps through the curtains with Delilah Demonik and begins to walk slowly to the ring.)
JACOBS: "And his opponent … being led to the ring by Delilah Demonik … she stands six foot four and weighs 185 pounds … hailing from Phoenix, Arizona ….. ‘the Dark Phenom’ …. NAKITA …. DAHAKA!!"
(Dahaka steps into the ring … SFX: Bell rings.)
BEGINNING: Reynolds started the match off with a series of arm drags as he tried to keep ‘the Dark Phenom’ off balance. ‘the Future’ kept up the offensive with a quick sidestep as Dahaka came off the ropes from an irish whip, which sent her running into the opposite ropes. Dahaka hit them chest first and stumbled backwards, which Reynolds took advantage of by clobbering her with a clothesline to the back of the head. Reynolds grabbed Dahaka off the mat, but ‘the Dark Phenom’ had enough of the horse play and planted a fist right in his gut doubling him over. Dahaka grabbed Reynolds’ head and planted him into the mat with a DDT. After getting only a one count, Dahaka jumped to her feet and caught ‘the Future’ as he rose. Dahaka backed Reynolds back into the corner with a series of reverse knife edged chops and then began driving the shoulder into the breadbasket of her opponent. Dahaka grabbed Reynolds’ head and turned him around before dropping down to the mat nailing the neckbreaker. ‘the Dark Phenom’ made the cover once more, and this time Reynolds got his foot on the bottom rope before the referee could count to three. Dahaka waited patiently as Reynolds made use of the ropes to get to his feet, and charged once he was up. Reynolds was quick to duck and hoisted ‘the Dark Phenom’ up and over the top rope to the arena floor. Little did Reynolds realize, however, that Dahaka landed on her feet on the apron behind him. Reynolds turned, Dahaka grabbed his head, and then dropped to the arena floor forcing ‘the Future’s neck into the top rope. Reynolds snapped back and fell to the mat as ‘the Dark Phenom’ slid into the ring under the bottom rope.
MIDDLE: Dahaka continued her assault with boots to the side as Reynolds laid on the mat, and then dropped down to apply a chinlock on ‘the Future.’ Reynolds managed to fight his way back to his feet, breaking the hold with three well placed elbows to the gut of Dahaka. ‘the Future’ then dropped back gaining momentum as he charged towards Dahaka, but ‘the Dark Phenom’ nailed Reynolds in the gut with a knee flipping him over and causing him to land on his back on the mat. Dahaka grabbed Reynolds’ head and brought him back to his feet, irish whipping him hard into the corner. Reynolds hit back first, and was unable to get out of the way as Dahaka charged in after him nearly taking off his head with a clothesline. Reynolds stumbled out of the corner, and Dahaka took advantage of his grogginess as she flew out behind him, grabbing his head, and driving it into the mat with a bulldog. ‘the Dark Phenom’ got a two count as Reynolds was barely able to get his shoulder off the mat. Dahaka then went to the corner and waited as Reynolds slowly made his way to his feet. ‘the Future’ looked around for his opponent, and when he finally turned to the corner where Dahaka was waiting, he couldn’t avoid the spear. Dahaka finished the spear off with a flurry of punches to her opponent’s skull which caused the referee to come in and warn her about the closed fists. Dahaka rolled off Reynolds and then grabbed him by the waist off his tights before yanking him back to his feet. She hooked the arm and drove him back into the mat with a Russian Legsweep. Dahaka kipped up, ran to the corner, ascended the ropes and flew off with a beautiful looking moonsault.
END: Reynolds, who looked off all night, tried to make a final comeback after rolling to the outside and taking a breather. After nearly getting counted out, he rolled back into the ring to break the count, before rolling back to the outside. During his second breather, Dahaka had enough, and when Reynolds turned, she flew through the ropes crashing down on top of him with a suicide plancha to the outside. Both competitors were on the arena floor, but Dahaka was obviously the fresher of the two and rolled ‘the Future’ back in the ring before following suit. Dahaka brought Reynolds to his feet, but Reynolds blocked the European uppercut attempt. Dahaka was knocked back and tried to counter with a superkick, however Reynolds caught her foot and began taunting ‘the Dark Phenom.’ Bad move on his part as Dahaka nailed Reynolds in the head with an enziguiri, dropping him like a bad habit. Nakita Dahaka grabbed onto Reynolds waist and slammed him into the mat with a release German suplex. Sensing the time to end the match, Dahaka whipped Reynolds into the ropes and continued to deal the damage out with a running high knee to the face. Reynolds was knocked the ground and was barely able to get back to his feet, even though he did. Dahaka was waiting, though, and she charged with the RUNNING GUN, the high impacting jumping spear, that knocked Reynolds silly. Dahaka waited as Reynolds slowly got back to his feet. With Reynolds groggy and standing near the corner, ‘the Dark Phenom’ grabbed his head, charged to the corner, running up the turnbuckle pads as if they were stairs before flipping up and over him, head still locked, and locked in the standing dragon sleeper!! It was elementary at this point, ‘the Future’ had no other option but to give up.
WINNER: Nakita Dahaka by submission after locking on the Dragon Snap at 9:42.
GHEORGHE: "AND ‘the DARK PHENOM’ WALKS AWAY VICTORIOUS!"
JIVE: "She demolished Rex Reynolds … and there is no denying that Nakita Dahaka is going to be a force here in New ERA like she has been in every other league she’s been in!"
JULIUS: "Reynolds looked lost … I don’t know what was going through his mind … but obviously Dahaka took advantage of it .. and she comes out of the match with a victory under her belt."
GHEORGHE: "We’ve got to take a quick commercial break .. but when we come back … it’s the triple threat between Cameron Cruise, Jared Wells, and Peter File!
GHEORGHE: "And we are back .. and what a night we still have to come … including our next match which is between three incredible wrestlers.."
JULIUS: "Cameron Cruise was married to a man … Jared Wells is higher than a Whitney Houston / Bobby Brown cocaine binge, and Peter File is Peter File … you call these guys incredible wrestlers?"
He said WHADAHTT?
(CUEUP: "That’s Entertainment" by The Jam, as Mr Entertainment makes an unexpected appearance, carrying a gym bag over his shoulder. Notable by its absence is the ON TV title.)
JIVE: "It looks like the show is going to get more ENTERTAINING."
GHEORGHE: "Not you too, emphasising that word... but we’re supposed to be having our triple threat right now .. and the Television Champion is making his way to the ring!"
JIVE: "It makes for good ENTERTAINMENT, especially when Mister ENTERTAINMENT is in the building... considering management audaciously left him off the match roster tonight."
JULIUS: "Mr Entertainment had a hard-fought defence against Jonathan Marx last RAUCOUS, but he looks in pretty good shape despite Larry Tact almost decapitating him! Let’s listen to what he’s got to say."
ENTERTAINMENT: "Hello Trelawny!"
ME: "Now, I know I don’t have a match tonight an’ all – that’s a real shame, because when ya’ve got Jean Rabore, Sucko Hayfever an’ Barry Fat ta look forward to, ya need at least one guy who can actually ENTERTAIN the fans!"
(SFX: Crowd jeers!)
ME: "See? I’m doin’ my job already! I mean, a show with the snooze-fest of Dan Ryan an’ Lindsay Troy teamin’ together would be unbearable if it wasn’t fer ME ..."
"Comin’ out ta make an announcement!"
GHEORGHE: "What’s he talking about?"
JIVE: "Maybe if you’d shut your trap for longer than 4 seconds we could find out!"
ME: "Ya’ll saw what happened last time on RAUCOUS, when I took Johnny Boy Marx ta the LIMIT, only fer Barry Fat ta come out an’ save his ass – right when I was abou’ ta turn it up a notch an’ embarrass his ass on world wide TV!"
"But somethin’ that came outta that match, as I knew it would, was ME ..."
"Pickin’ up another win over a guy who’s held the World Heavyweight Championship. Two outta the last three guys? Beaten, by the one, the only ..."
GHEORGHE: "Is this going somewhere?"
ME: "Now, ya might remember I said somethin’ before last RAUCOUS abou’ Johnny Boy havin’ everythin’ ta lose an’ only the premier title ta gain? An’ how I’d be unifying the titles?"
"Well… drumroll please..."
(A drumroll is piped into the arena, as Mr Entertainment places the bag on the canvas, reaching inside…
GHEORGHE: "What the hell is that?"
(A rather strange looking combination of two title belts, specially made. One half of the main section resembles the New ERA of Wrestling Television Championship. The other? The World Heavyweight Championship. Across the two halves, the following letters appear ..
He did promise didn’t he?)
ME: "Yep, folks, here it is – the CRÈME DE LA CRÈME of titles, the ONLY title that shows you’re the King of the Ring, the best of the best, forget-about-the-Champion-of-Champions…"
"I give you…"
"The World Heavyweight Actually Defended Actually Held TV TITLE!"
(The crowd sound suitably bemused by this, with a small smattering deciding to boo Mr Entertainment as he holds the belt aloft.)
ME: "Now, the rules of this belt are simple – you have to beat BOTH the reigning TV champion AND the reigning World Heavyweight Champion to win this title. BUT!! You have to pin BOTH at exactly the same time, and the judges, selected by myself and safe in their palaces across Europe, must agree to you holding the title as well. After all, you don’t want the usual bores like Rabesque, Johnny Boy, or GOP holding the WHADAHTT Championship."
GHEORGHE: "So basically only he’s ever going to hold it?"
JIVE: "I think it’s great!"
ME: "And now, as the inaugural WHADAHTT Champion… On with the show!"
(CUEUP: "That’s Entertainment" as Mr Entertainment leaves the ring, a smug grin on his face.)
JULIUS: "And Mr. Entertainment …"
GHEORGHE: "Wow… he’s really off his rocker…. let’s just go to ringside and get this match started…"
(CUTTO: In the ring as the lineup comes on screen.)
Cameron Cruise vs. Jared Wells vs. Peter File
JACOBS: "The following match is scheduled for one fall, has a THIRTY MINUTE TIME LIMIT, and is a triple threat match … introducing first …"
(CUEUP: "Sigur 1 [Vaka]" by Sigur Ros. Peter File and Lilly come from behind the curtain. File tries to lick as many fans as possible as he comes to the ring.)
JACOBS: "Being led to the ring by Lilly .. he stands six foot one, weighs 205 pounds … and hails from New Haven, Connecticut ….. PETER … FILE!"
(File steps into the ring.)
GHEORGHE: "Peter File trying to rebound from the last two matches .. although to be fair he’s faced some pretty stiff competition with the BLAST from the PAST battle royal then the tag match.."
JULIUS: "Maybe that’s the problem.. his competition is stiff .. throwing him off his game…"
(The lights turn down low .. and Jared Wells walks through the curtain .. a smile on his face.)
JACOBS: "Introducing next .. he stands six feet tall … hailing from Baltimore, Maryland .. here is JARED …. WELLS!"
GHEORGHE: "Wells coming off a loss in his return match against Foxx .. but he and .. yes, Karla Starr, got the upperhand .. and I don’t see Starr out here tonight."
JIVE: "She’s probably planning their next big Foxx bashing moment."
(CUEUP: "Headstrong" by Trapt. Cameron Cruise and Mercedes Devon step from behind the curtain.)
JACOBS: "Finally .. he hails from Jacksonville, North Carolina .. being led to the ring by Mercedes Devon .. he stands six foot four and weighs 248 pounds …. CAMERON …. CRUISE!"
(SFX: Bell rings.)
BEGINNING: With all three men in the ring to start things off you knew that something was bound to go terribly wrong. And it did. Peter File’s first vict.. err first move was to Cameron Cruise. Cruise, still trying to maintain his claim of being a heterosexual after the entire Kooter Michaels-Cruise fiasco popped File in the face and then hopped on top driving the back of File’s head into the mat. Wells made a move, at first, but then decided that he would just stand back and watch as his two opponents wore themselves out. Peter File, being the sado-masochist that he is, took the beating in stride, as he still managed to get his hand halfway down the back of Cruise’s tights. Cruise hopped off File and start stomping on his stomach, but File kept coming … at him. Cruise placed a boot to the face of File that finally stopped his eerie ability to withstand the assault. Cruise turned and was met face to face with Jared Wells. Cruise nearly blew a smokestack as Wells puckered his lips and pretended to blow Cruise a kiss. Cruise swung wildly at the former BAD World Heavyweight champion, but Wells ducked, grabbed Cruise, lifted him up, and connected with the atomic drop that sent Cruise gingerly walking into the corner. Wells followed closely behind and began to slam Cruise’s head into the turnbuckle pad ten consecutive times, all the while the fans helped keep count. Even after Wells stopped, Cruise continued to move towards the turnbuckle pad. Wells flipped Cruise to face him, and then irish whipped Cruise just as Peter File was getting to his feet. File turned and was greeted with a whole lotta Cameron Cruise, as Cruise ended up running into File causing both men to fall to the mat.. just so happened, for File’s benefit, that Cruise landed directly on top of him. Wells began to walk towards the mass, but stopped short as he saw File’s hand slowly working his way up Cruise’s leg.
MIDDLE: Cruise rolled off Peter File quicker than a frat boy rolls off a ho after hearing the words "Uh-oh, I think the condom broke." Cruise kept on rolling until he hit the edge of the apron and then rolled off! Jared Wells shrugged and grabbed Peter File, keeping him at arm’s length. Wells connected with some nicely placed European uppercuts, and the swung File over and around with the swinging neckbreaker. Wells grabbed the leg of Peter File and slammed the knee down into the mat, before locking the ankle in an ankle lock. File was in an immense amount of pain, but luckily he had Lilly there to distract the always ready-to-go Jared Wells. She hopped up onto the apron and started to lift her top, which caused Wells to release the hold and walk towards her. He didn’t get far as Cameron Cruise was back in the ring and spun him around, planting a fist into his face. Cruise reached back for another, but this time Wells was ready, blocking the punch, and connecting with one of his own. Wells rocked Cruise back into the corner, and then began driving back elbows into the jaw. Wells grabbed the head of Cameron Cruise and ran out of the corner with the running bulldog. Peter File was on his feet and grabbed Wells’ head as he tried to get up after hitting the bulldog. File applied the front facelock, but Jared Wells was much too strong as he overpowered File and flipped him up and over with a back body drop. File hit the apron and then got a knee in between the shoulder blades. Jared Wells brought both his opponents to their feet and slammed their heads together. Cameron Cruise started towards the corner, so Wells grabbed File and followed after him. After slamming Cruise’s skull into the top turnbuckle, he whipped File across the ring into the opposite corner, then grabbed Cruise, and did the same exact thing. Cruise nailed File and they fell to the mat, with File on top. The referee began to make the three count, but Jared Wells dove to break it up.
END: Wells kept both opponents on the defensive until the very end as he wailed away on Peter File. Cameron Cruise came from behind with a roll up on Wells, but only got a one count. Wells made him pay dearly for it as he grabbed Cruise as he got to his feet and delivered one of the stiffest DDT’s seen to man. Peter File, still on his knees from the damage dealt to him just a few seconds earlier, was on the receiving end of a running knee which caused him to flop backwards. Wells grabbed the legs of File and catapulted him high into the air, and when File came back down, his head hit the top turnbuckle pad. File was resting uncomfortably on it as Wells got back to his feet. Jared Wells grabbed File and placed him unceremoniously on the turnbuckle pads before climbing up after him. With both File and Wells on the top rope, and Cameron Cruise still on the mat, one could sense the end of the match quickly approaching. Wells grabbed File, hooked him, and nailed a belly to back superplex that folded File in half. Jared Wells made the cover and nearly got the three count, but Lilly yanked on his foot as it laid near the ropes and pulled him clear off. Jared Wells stood up, annoyed, and looked over at Lilly, who started to pull on the string of her top. Wells raised an eyebrow, but quickly gave the one finger salute before turning, and ducking underneath a Cameron Cruise clothesline! Wells spun Cruise around, kicked him in the gut, and RAGEBOMBED him into the mat. Wells then went over to Peter File, grabbed him, and nailed the Ragebomb on him as well, pinning him with one foot for the victory.
WINNER: Jared Wells via pinfall after a Ragebomb on Peter File at 8:10.
JIVE: "And Wells finally comes away with a victory! He should have gotten that first victory last week .. but I guess he can settle for beating TWO men instead of saying that he beat Foxx."
JULIUS: "You’re not making any sense anymore."
JIVE: "You try drinking three bottles of vodka and make sense."
GHEORGHE: "Jared Wells walking out of here with the win under his belt .. and he caught on quickly to Lilly’s games."
JIVE: "OH YEA."
GHEORGHE: "Take another sip, Nick."
(Jive chugs his coffee cup.)
GHEORGHE: "Wells certainly with a feather in his cap tonight…"
A Little Gift
(CUTTO: Backstage. The camera focuses in on the PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme Championship as it sits on a bench. The camera fades back and we see we’re in a lockerroom. Chaos steps out from the bathroom and grabs the Championship. He reaches for the door handle before he stops and slowly turns around..)
(He looks at the package which was sitting next to the Championship .. that we can presume, from his facial expressions, probably wasn’t there when he went into the bathroom.)
(Chaos opens the card that was attached. The camera pans down to read it over his shoulder.)
CHAOS: "I forgive you."
(Chaos rolls his eyes and continues reading.)
CHAOS: "But I won’t forget."
(Chaos tosses the card over his shoulder and opens the package. As soon as he lifts the top off two white doves dart out from the package causing him to jump back in shock. The doves fly around the room before setting themselves on top of the lockers staring down at Chaos.)
CHAOS: "Alright .. who’s the prankster?"
GHEORGHE: "And Chaos getting a weird package in his lockerroom!"
JIVE: "He didn’t seem too worried about it .. but you have to wonder who and HOW they got into Chaos’ lockerroom while he was there."
JULIUS: "All I know is that if I were Chaos, I’d be extra careful.. when you got a championship, especially the PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme Championship … your back always has a target on it."
GHEORGHE: "Speaking of targets .. John Doe was taking especially harsh aim on Tina Davis lead up to tonight … he was much more vicious than we’ve ever seen him, guys."
JIVE: "Doe was channeling his 1930’s self before the show .. and if I were him, I’d watch out .. not only will he have Tina Davis to deal with .. but Juliet Marceau .. Foxx .. Karla Starr … and Lindsay Troy… all might have taken offense to his comments."
GHEORGHE: "Well we’re going to find out if Doe can live up to his smack talk .. let’s head to the ring …"
(CUTTO: In the ring. Lineup. Screen. You get it.)
John Doe vs. Tina Davis
JACOBS: "The following match is scheduled for one fall and has a THIRTY MINUTE TIME LIMIT … introducing first…"
(CUEUP: "Into the Ocean" by Blue October. Tina Davis steps through the curtains to a nice pop. She walks to the ring.)
JACOBS: "Being led to the ring by her manager Joshua Curtis … she stands five foot 10 and weighs 190 pounds … hailing from Toronto, Ontario, Canada …. TINA ….. DAVIS!!"
GHEORGHE: "Davis looks to be in fantastic shape … and I’ve only heard good things about her."
JULIUS: "The thing I particularly love about this whole match .. is that John Doe ran his mouth .. when Tina Davis is only 3 inches shorter than he is … and only 20 pounds lighter. It’s not like she’s five foot two and 100 pounds, you know?"
(CUEUP: "When Worlds Collide" by Powerman 5000. John Doe walks through the curtain, a cocky smirk on his face as he mouths off to the fans.)
JACOBS: "And her opponent … he stands six foot one and weighs 210 pounds .. he is a former PRODIGY© CLASSIC XTREME CHAMPION ……. JOHN …. DOE!"
(SFX: Bell rings.)
BEGINNING: Davis obviously didn’t take Doe’s words before their match lightly as she came storming out of the gate with one thing on her mind: to beat the living shit out of Doe. Doe was caught off guard as Davis nailed right hook after right hook. Davis then hooked the head of Doe from behind and drove him into the mat with a reverse DDT. Tina Davis covered, but was only able to get the one count. Davis quickly got to her feet to drop the elbow, but Doe rolled out of the way and Davis crashed to the mat. While Davis was holding her elbow, Doe rose to his feet and slammed the heel of his boot into her midsection. Doe kneeled to the mat and proceeded to grab onto Davis’ hair and yell in her face before driving his palm into her forehead repeatedly. Doe grabbed Davis by the hair and yanked her up, spinning her around before kicking her in the ass into the corner. Doe came from behind, grabbed Davis by the waist and took her up and over with a German Suplex. Doe held on, rolled through, and brought Davis up and over for a second German Suplex, carried that one through and delivered a third and final German suplex. Doe then rose to his feet and lifted his arms high in the air to the jeers of the crowd. Doe walked over and stood above Tina Davis as he continued to bad mouth her. As he stepped to the side, he drove his boot into her throat and applied pressure choking her. Doe was forced to release the choke as the referee neared the mandatory five count.. but he quickly reapplied the choke. The referee counted quicker this time and warned Doe about doing it a third time. Doe didn’t. Instead he brought the boot to Davis’ head, and scraped it off as fast as he could.
MIDDLE: Doe sent Davis into the corner with a hard irish whip. She hit the corner back first and Doe charged in after her. Davis pulled herself to the top rope as Doe drove his shoulder into the steel ring post. Doe came out holding his shoulder, and Davis climbed onto his shoulders and took him over with a Victory Roll. Doe managed to get out of the count before the referee could hit three. Davis wasn’t able to follow up and Doe walloped her with some hard elbows to the face. Doe got to his feet, bounced against the ropes, and nailed Davis right in the head with a baseball slide that pushed her to the outside. Doe grabbed the top rope and catapulted himself over the top and splashed Davis on the outside! Doe seemed to injure himself as well as he rolled off of Tina Davis holding that shoulder. Doe was slow to get to his feet, but Davis was even slower. John Doe grabbed his opponent’s head and slammed it on the top of the ring steps before rolling Davis back into the ring. He climbed to the top rope and waited as Davis used the ropes to pull herself up. Davis was in La La Land and turned as Doe flew off the top rope, hitting her with the Missile Dropkick. Doe made the cover, and Davis was just a tenth of a second from being out of the match, but somehow she managed to get her shoulder up. John Doe dragged Davis into the middle of the ring and wrapped her up in an STF. Davis was locked in for almost a minute before Doe realized he probably wouldn’t get the submission … and released her. Doe went back up to the top and came flying off with a perfectly executed Swanton Bomb. Doe made a cover, but was once more only able to get the two count.
END: Doe applied a Boston Crab on the worn out Davis, and Davis looked as if she was about to tap out, but made one last gallant effort to reach the bottom ropes. Her hand grasped onto the rope and the referee called for the break. Doe refused to release the hold and the referee got into his face. The crowd rose to their feet as ‘the Dark Phenom’ Nakita Dahaka came walking from the back. She walked down the rampway, hands on her hips, and once Doe looked up and saw her he immediately released the hold. Doe walked over to the ropes and leaned over as he began to verbally berate Dahaka. ‘the Dark Phenom’ stood there, a look on her face that only a mother could love, as Doe continued. Tina Davis took advantage of the situation and came up from behind Doe with a roll up and was only a few centimeters away from the victory as Doe fought out of the surprise pinfall. Doe popped to his feet and caught Davis by the throat, picking her up and driving her to the mat with a Chokeslam. John Doe looked over at Dahaka, who seemed unimpressed, and pointed to Davis. Doe grabbed Davis to her feet, tossed her against the ropes, went against the opposite ropes himself, and came back with the Amnesia Attack. Dahaka turned and began walking up the rampway as the referee counted to three, giving Doe the victory. Doe stood up and raised his arms in victory, a sneer on his face as he watched Dahaka walk through the curtains.
WINNER: John Doe via pinfall after the Amnesia Attack at 8:55.
GHEORGHE: "And John Doe watching as Nakita Dahaka made her way to the back .. and look at the smile on his face .. it’s disgusting!"
JIVE: "Dahaka came out here .. and Doe almost lost the match because of it .. but Davis just wasn’t able to put it awa…"
Shouldn't Have Opened Your Mouth
(CUEUP: "Violet" by Hole.)
JULIUS: "I told you, you don’t want to scorn someone like Juliet Marceau… and here she comes!"
(Juliet Marceau walks through the curtain and stands on top of the rampway with a microphone in her hand.)
GHEORGHE: "New ERA Vice President Juliet Marceau is out here .. and she doesn’t look too happy with John Doe."
(Marceau’s music dies down and she raises the microphone.)
MARCEAU: "So here you are, John. You’ve put Tina Davis in her place, it seems.. for now."
(Doe nodes approvingly.)
MARCEAU: "You seem to think you’re some hot shit."
(SFX: Crowd pops.)
MARCEAU: "Well maybe you need a reality check."
JULIUS: "What is she talking about?"
MARCEAU: "I may not have the power I once had here in New ERA … but when I have the blessing of Marcus … I can do what I do…. and that’s why I’m out here right now."
(Doe’s smirk fades.)
MARCEAU: "You want to claim that a woman’s place is in the kitchen? Well .. how about your place … at the EPW / New ERA joint pay per view .. is in a match … with not one .. not two .. not even three … but FOUR women."
(SFX: Crowd pops hysterically as Doe slams his fists down on the ropes.)
GHEORGHE: "What is Marceau talking about?!"
MARCEAU: "That’s right, John.. at the joint pay per view .. you will have the distinct pleasure of being part of a three way tag team match .. you already know you’re partner .. in fact, you’ve been in the ring with her before … as in .. just now."
JULIUS: "No way.."
MARCEAU: "That’s right, John… you’ll be teaming with Tina Davis, your opponent here tonight HERSELF.."
(Doe starts cursing.)
MARCEAU: "And .. we’ll see how you’ll fare when you take on two of the strongest women you’ll ever meet … the Cat’s Meow!"
(SFX: Crowd pops!)
GHEORGHE: "The Cat’s Meow made quite the impression on RAPTURE in Montserrat … and now Doe will have to deal with them AND Tina Davis! It’s like his worst nightmare!"
JIVE: "That’s only three women, Gheorghe … Marceau said four!"
MARCEAU: "As for the third team … well … Jared Wells seems to be getting cozy … so he’ll be teaming with the fourth bitch whose going to chew your nuts off and spit them out … the former VENUS World Heavyweight champion KARLA STARR!!"
(SFX: Crowd pops huge as Doe starts throwing a hissy fit in the ring.)
MARCEAU: "We’ll see whose eating bon bons on the couch after the joint pay per view, John … and I can promise you right now .. you’re going to need a nice comfy pillow to rest your ass on … because it’s going to be sore after the beating it’s going to take."
(Marceau tosses the microphone down and walks off stage.)
GHEORGHE: "THREE WAY TAG TEAM MATCH AT THE JOINT PAY PER VIEW!"
JIVE: "John Doe in a match with four women … for any other man that’d be a fantasy!"
JULIUS: "Well, any other man besides John Doe and you…"
GHEORGHE: "We’ve got to take a commercial break .. we still have the semifinals matches for the World Tag Team Championship tournament coming up .. as well as the Lumberjack World Heavyweight Championship match .. and we’re STILL waiting to hear what Marcus LaRoque’s stipulation is for the main event of the joint pay per view is!! We’ll be right back!"
(CUTTO: Backstage. The area is covered in golden backdrops, all surrounding one man standing with a cold stare for the camera. Larry Tact has one hand on his side, the other propped on the top of the black Louisville Slugger he's been toting around of late.)
TACT: "I could just stand here and give you all what you expect to hear. That last week will not change anything. That I'm STILL going to walk into the NEW/EPW SuperCard... STILL go into that Main Event for the World Heavyweight Championship with one sole purpose... and may whoever stand in my way have good health insurance and a date with a hospital lined up to cap off their night."
"I could leave it at that.... but then I would be playing to YOUR expectations. You, who doubt. You, whose only wish is to hear TACTLESS back-and-forth banter for your sole nightly entertainment... because there certainly isn't much else for you, is there... and you, the people in attendance, so easily jerked around. If I played to your expectations, I'd be lowering my own."
"But last week, I realized... maybe that's the problem. I HAVE been playing on that level, to such MENIAL expectations, throughout this tour."
(Momentarily cocking an eyebrow, he huffs a short laugh.)
TACT: "Because beyond the asses in the seats... BEYOND the banter... what goes on in the ring when I grace it should be ALL the evidence anyone needs of why I AM the top of New ERA, title or no."
"At BattleBRAWL, I needed to bring my A-game against Chaos in order to beat him on HIS terms, at HIS own game. And I did. But lately, that hasn't been the case. It certainly wasn't the case last week. I've grown complacent over the course of this tour, and it finally showed."
(He pauses, and gives a small smile.)
TACT: "It was almost... refreshing. More importantly, it was a wake-up call. Because at the NEW/EPW SuperCard, there will be NO TIME for poor effort. With six of us and only one pinnacle goal... there is only room for the best. And it should be clear by now, when I bring my best, there isn't anything better in New ERA of Wrestling."
"So I guess I could thank the Phantom Republican. I got my wake-up call just in time."
"But what I'm gonna do instead, for all of you critics, doubters, and jerkers... and for the other five in that Main Event... I'll give something else. I'll give my A-game, bring my BEST to that match..."
"And once more, you will bear witness to what should be clear already...."
"Larry Tact... is so... much... BETTER... than all of you."
"And then MY expectations... will be met."
GHEORGHE: "Welcome back .. and Larry Tact with some strong words to his competitors in the upcoming World Heavyweight Championship match at the joint pay per view …"
JIVE: "Tact said it himself … he’s going to bring his A-game to the main event … he’ll just have to hope that its good enough considering Marcus LaRoque still hasn’t announced what the stipulation for the match is going to be!"
JULIUS: "With six men in that match .. it’s going to be chaos no matter what the hell type match it is .. but this is New ERA .. and you know that whatever the stipulation is .. it’s going to be big .. and it’s going to turn that match upside down."
GHEORGHE: "We are just seconds away from tonight’s FIRST semifinals match in the World Tag Team Championship tournament as Bored of Edukashun takes on Jack n’ Hoff.."
JIVE: "Bored of Edukashun is 2-0 so far in tag team matches here in New ERA .. they defeated the Saviors of Wrestling in the Wild Card round to get a spot in the semifinals … and now tonight they have to defeat Jack n’ Hoff."
JULIUS: "Jack n’ Hoff lost last RAUCOUS to the Inner Circle .. but due to both Team in Vain and Old Guard putting on a horrendous showing, LaRoque gave them a second chance .. let’s hope they don’t blow this chance, too."
GHEORGHE: "The World Tag Team champions will be crowned in the first of New ERA’s two main events at the joint pay per view .. so you know that will be weighing heavily on the minds of both teams here tonight… let’s go to Carl Jacobs for the ring introductions!"
(CUTTO: Ring. Carl Jacobs stands as the lineup flashes on screen.)
World Tag Team Championship Tournament
Bored of Edukashun vs. Jack n' Hoff
JACOBS: "The following match is scheduled for one fall, has a thirty minute time limit … and is the SEMIFINALS match in the WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT! Introducing first…"
(CUEUP: "White & Nerdy" by Weird Al. Tyler Hensen and Sherman Wentworth come from behind the curtain and make their way to the ring to a nice pop from the crowd!)
JACOBS: "They weigh in at a combined weight of 415 pounds … TYLER HENSEN .. SHERMAN WENTWORTH …. BORED … OF EDUKASHUN!"
GHEORGHE: "The fans here in Trelawny are showing Bored of Edukashun a lot of love as these two men have really shown their stuff thus far in New ERA."
JIVE: "These guys are young .. they know how to succeed in tag team wrestling … and they’re the perfect lamb to sacrifice for slaughter to the Inner Circle."
GHEORGHE: "Oh stop it, Nick!"
JIVE: "I’m telling the truth!"
JULIUS: "Have another glass of … coffee…"
(CUEUP: "What’s My Age Again?" by Blink-182. The crowd pops as "JACK n’ HOFF" comes across the big screens.)
JACOBS: "And their opponents… hailing from Honolulu, Hawaii …. they weigh in at a combined weight of 456 pounds … JACK … HOFF …. (he shakes his head) JACK ‘n HOFF!"
(SFX: Bell rings.)
BEGINNING: With both teams in the ring it looked as if things were going to start off with a brawl as Jack repeatedly made gestures to his crotch at both members of Bored of Edukashun. While Jack wasn’t looking, however, Hoff stepped out through the ropes. Jack turned to get back up from his partner as both of his competitors started toward him, but only found a shrugging Hoff on the outside. Jack turned back, right into a double clothesline that flipped him up and over. Sherman Wentworth grabbed Jack off the mat and whipped him into the ropes, catching him on the return and twisting him around for the spinebuster as Tyler Hensen came off the other ropes and dropped an elbow right between the eyes. Hensen walked to his corner as the referee started to get on Bored of Edukashun. While the referee was escorting Hensen to the corner, Hoff hopped over the top rope and swung Wentworth around, grabbing his Sherman, before placing his jaw on top of Hoff’s skull. Hoff dropped down to the mat jamming the jaw of Sherman Wentworth, and then rolled out of the ring before the referee saw a thing. The referee turned just as Jack was getting back to his feet. Jack went over and made the tag to Hoff, who hopped back into the ring. Jack held Wentworth wide open as Hoff began flailing away at the exposed ribs. Finally Hoff took over the abdominal stretch from his partner and applied as much pressure as he could. Wentworth’s a fighter, however, and wouldn’t stay in the hold long as he hip tossed Hoff over and applied a headlock. Hoff managed to roll Wentworth back and apply a headscissors, but Wentworth rolled through it, and hooked the legs as he flipped up and over Hoff for the pinfall attempt. The referee got to two, but as soon as he did, Hoff broke the attempt. Hoff stormed back to his feet, but Wentworth ducked the clothesline and nailed a reverse crescent kick that floored his opponent.
2nd QUARTER: Momentum continued to swing back and forth between the two teams after Wentworth tagged in Tyler Hensen. Hensen came into the ring and missed a right hook, which allowed Hoff to ride the arm down to the mat. Hoff was close enough to his own corner to tag in Jack, who immediately ascended to the second turnbuckle and came off with a legdrop right across the elbow. Hoff rolled underneath to the outside and Jack continued to work over the arm, with arm wrench after arm wrench. Jack the sent Hensen to the ropes with an irish whip, or so we thought as he quickly snapped Hensen back flooring him with a short armed clothesline. Jack went against the ropes and shimmied and shook as he dropped the elbow to the forehead .. except Hensen rolled out of the way. Hensen took advantage of the surprised Jack and made a quick cover nearly getting the three count. Jack tried to crawl to his corner in a hurry, but Hensen grabbed onto his leg and held it there with a smile on his face as Jack begged. Hensen then grabbed his other leg and looked back at Sherman Wentworth. Wentworth got into the ring and Hensen catapulted Jack backwards… As he came down, Wentworth aided him with the springboard spear to the mat! After the Pop Quiz, the referee asked Wentworth to exit the ring, but Hensen came over and tagged him anyways. Wentworth hopped onto the top rope as Tyler Hensen brought Jack back to his feet … Bored of Edukashun went for the Swirly, as Wentworth waited for Hensen to nail the swinging neckbreaker as he flew off with the corkscrew splash… except Jack rolled through it nailing Hensen with a DDT … and then rolling out of the way as Wentworth crashed down on his partner! Both members of Bored of Edukashun were knocked out on the mat as Jack walked over and tagged his partner into the match. They then went over to take advantage of the situation.
3rd QUARTER: Jack n’ Hoff first picked up Wentworth off the mat and whipped him against the ropes. On the return the picked him up and fell backwards, dropping his throat against the top rope. Wentworth, still lying on the ropes, was dumped over by Jack, and then the team grabbed Hensen. Hensen began trying to fight off both men, firing rights into the jaws of Jack, then turning to Hoff. As he turned back to Jack, Hoff dropped down and brought Hensen down with a single leg takedown. Hensen landed at the feet of Jack who began driving the boots into the back of Hensen’s head. By this time Wentworth was gaining his senses and slid back into the ring attacking Jack from behind. Wentworth cornered Jack and began wailing away on him. Hensen turned and kicked Hoff in the face as Hoff was watching Wentworth and Jack, and then got to his feet. Hoff was up with him and the two began trading blows in the middle of the ring. Wentworth decided that now would be a good time to whip Jack across the ring, but didn’t realize his partner was there. Jack crashed into both Hensen and Hoff, and all three toppled to the mat. The referee forced Wentworth to the outside as he tried to aid his partner .. and then he went over to Jack to get him out of the ring. After order was restored, Tyler Hensen and Hoff continued on with their trading of closed fists. Hensen began to get the upperhand and doubled Hoff over with a shot to the gut. Hoff was sitting duck as Hensen nailed a fireman’s carry, and then followed it up with a reverse DDT. Hensen made the cover, but Jack was able to get in the ring in time to break it up. Hensen locked in the sleeper while Hoff was on the mat trying to get him to pass out. He nearly succeeded, but Hoff got a second wind when he needed it most and began to fight his way back to his feet.
END: Hensen rearranged the sleeper into a front facelock as Hoff got to his feet. Hoff proceeded to pick Hensen up by the waist and make it a few steps towards his corner before dropping him back down. Hensen tried to apply more pressure, but Hoff was able once more to make it a few steps closer. With Hoff almost to his own corner, Hensen released the hold, bounced against the close ropes, and came back with a running knee lift. Hoff telegraphed the move, though, and swept the leg of Hensen into the air causing him to crash down on his back. Hoff then dove into the corner and made the tag to Jack. Jack came in with a head full of fire as he floored Hensen everytime he got to his feet. Wentworth came into the ring to try to calm things down, but Jack nailed him with a dropkick that sent him flying. Jack tagged Hoff back into the ring and together they hoisted Hensen to the top rope and climbed up after him. Jack n’ Hoff hooked Hensen’s arms and took him high in the air crashing to the mat with a double superplex. Hoff told Jack to go to the top rope, and Hoff proceeded to bring Hensen back to his feet. Jack n’ Hoff readied the Sweet, Sweet Release for the victory and their advancement to the finals of the World Tag Team Championship tournament, but they forgot about Sherman Wentworth, who came charging across the ring and leapfrogged over Hoff clotheslining Jack off the top rope to the arena floor! Hoff looked like he was in shock, and the momentary lapse allowed Tyler Hensen to position himself underneath Hoff hoisting him onto his shoulders. Sherman Wentworth leapt to the top rope and positioned himself before flying off with a high flying moonsault, catching Hoff’s head on the way down for the DDT! Hensen made the cover after hitting the Principal’s List, and the referee counted sending Bored of Edukashun into the finals of the World Tag Team Championship tournament!
WINNERS: Bored of Edukashun via pinfall after hitting the Principal’s List on Hoff at 16:33.
JULIUS: "We’ve got our first finalists!!"
GHEORGHE: "What a match between those two teams! You can tell that those four still have plenty of battles left in the future .. but in the immediate future Bored of Edukashun sees gold!"
JIVE: "Poor Jack n’ Hoff!! They were so close … but they shot blanks."
JULIUS: "You’re fucking gross."
GHEORGHE: "I’m receiving word that something is going on the back!"
WHADAHTT Your Ass
(CUTTO: Backstage. Sam Baxter is standing by.)
BAXTER: "I am here backstage … and Mr. Entertainment .. has just attacked HAL .. and they ARE GOING AT IT!"
(Camera turns and we see Mr. Entertainment pounding away on HAL in the corner. HAL responds by slamming back, driving Mr. Entertainment back first into the wall.)
JIVE: "What happened?!"
BAXTER: "HAL was coming by to fix a laptop problem I had … and Entertainment walked by.. and I guess was insulted by HAL’s indifference to the Televis.. I mean … WHADAHTT champion … So HAL walked by … and Entertainment flipped! And you can see that they are still going at it .. this has been going on for a few minutes now … and officials are trying to break it up!"
(Officials have surrounded the two men, who are now grabbing onto each other trying to gain the advantage … HAL lets loose a right hook that catches Mr. Entertainment in the jaw … and Entertainment responds by jamming the finger in the eye of HAL.)
BAXTER: "I’m not sure what the hell is going to happen … but right now we’ve got six .. maybe seven officials trying to break this up … but to no avail!"
(Entertainment slams HAL face first into the wall. HAL slumps down.. and Mr. Entertainment begins to walk away.)
ENTERTAINMENT: "You don’t disrespect the WHADAHTT champion .. and you don’t disrespect ME .."
BAXTER: "What … pr…"
ME: "HAL is going to pay the price of his ignorance .. at the joint pay per view .. he’s going to see just why I am New ERA’s GREATEST champion …"
(Entertainment storms off as the officials help HAL up.)
BAXTER: "I think Mr. Entertainment just signed his own match for the joint pay per view!"
GHEORGHE: "We knew things would be hot tonight .. but this is getting out of control!"
JULIUS: "Speaking of out of control … this joint pay per view is stacking up to be a fucking rollercoaster ride!"
GHEORGHE: "The six man World Heavyweight Championship match … the Tag Team Finals … the three way tag team match .. now the Television Championship … excuse me .. the WHADAHTT Championship match? What else is there that we don’t know about?!"
JIVE: "Speaking of the World Tag Team Championship finals … we’ve got our second semifinals match coming up now … and I think it’s about time we cut the crap and just send Saviors of Wrestling home now!"
GHEORGHE: "Saviors of Wrestling also the benefactors of second-chances as they originally lost their Wild Card round to Bored of Edukashun … but due to circumstances were able to take the other semifinals spot due to visa problems… and now they’re going t o be facing a tough, tough challenge in the Inner Circle."
JULIUS: "You mean impossible challenge, Gheorghe."
GHEORGHE: "I guess we’ll just have to find out, huh? Let’s go to ringside!"
(CUTTO: In the ring as the lineup flashes on screen.)
World Tag Team Championship Tournament
Saviors of Wrestling vs. The Inner Circle
JACOBS: "The following match is scheduled for one fall, has a thirty minute time limit, and is the second SEMIFINALS MATCH FOR THE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT!! Introducing first…"
(CUEUP: "The Final Countdown" by Europe. ‘SOW’ comes on the big screens w/ a giant British flag hanging in the middle of the ‘O.’ Adam Benjamin and Chandler Maxwell step from behind the curtains.)
JACOBS: "They hail from Britain .. weighing in at a combined weight of 481 pounds …. ‘Yours Truly’ ADAM BENJAMIN … ‘First Class’ CHANDLER MAXWELL …. the SAVIORS … OF WRESTLING!!!"
GHEORGHE: "THE best technical tag team in the world today, without a doubt. They had a tough draw in the tournament, first in Bored of Edukashun and now with the Inner Circle … but they definitely have the talent to go to the joint pay per view as finalists and win the Tag Team Championships!"
(CUEUP: "Carpe Diem Baby" by Metallica. The lights turn low as Dan Ryan and Lindsay Troy step onto the steps, the crowd jeers, as images of each wrestler flash on the big screens.)
JACOBS: "And their opponents … weighing in at a combined weight of 505 pounds …. ‘the Ego Buster’ DAN RYAN … ‘the Queen of the Ring’ LINDSAY TROY ….. the INNER … CIRCLE!!"
(SFX: Bell rings.)
BEGINNING: Adam Benjamin and Dan Ryan started things off for their respective teams to see who would take on Bored of Edukashun in the finals of the World Tag Team Championship tournament. Benjamin used his speed to his advantage in the early going by ducking under Ryan’s grasps, and countering with some tough shots to the ribs. Ryan, of course, shrugged them off and turned to grab Benjamin, which just meant that Benjamin would duck out of the way. After a few times of cat and mouse, Ryan finally had enough and unloaded on Benjamin knocking her clear across the ring. Benjamin got to his feet, but Ryan was right there with an irish whip that sent Benjamin crashing into the corner .. and practically moving the ring two inches to the right! Adam Benjamin was in the corner as Ryan began to approach… and as Ryan lifted his arms over his head for the double axehandle, Adam Benjamin darted out of the corner. Ryan turned .. right into a dropkick from Benjamin. With Ryan in the corner, Benjamin pounced onto him, drilling him in the corner. ‘The Ego Buster’ tossed Benjamin off him to the mat, but Benjamin rolled backwards and bounced off the ropes, tagging in his partner in the process. Ryan caught Benjamin as he tried to hit the cross body, but Chandler Maxwell was waiting and came flying off the top rope with a missile dropkick that sent the big man toppling over! Benjamin landed on top of him and rolled off as the Saviors of Wrestling picked Ryan up off the mat. Maxwell held Ryan’s head, and Adam Benjamin took his arm. Saviors of Wrestling then drove Ryan face first into the mat with a DDT / armbreaker combination. The referee forced Benjamin to leave the ring as Maxwell locked on a hammerlock on the mat. Ryan wasn’t on the mat for very long though as he began to push his way back to his feet.
2nd QUARTER: Ryan was back on his feet and that wasn’t good news for Chandler Maxwell. As Maxwell tried to hold on to the hammerlock, Ryan nailed him in the face with a back elbow, and then grabbed onto his head for a stunner. Ryan rolled back to his feet and made the tag to Lindsay Troy who got to the top rope as Ryan held Maxwell in place. Troy came off with a double axehandle and someone might as well have yelled timber as Maxwell fell flat on his back. Troy was quick to grab the legs of her opponent and flip him over into a Boston Crab. She applied the pressure, but Maxwell wasn’t about to give up his shot to headline one of New ERA’s main event at the joint pay per view. Maxwell eventually powered out of the Crab and countered a Troy comeback with a boot to the face. Maxwell made his way back to his corner and tagged in Adam Benjamin who came into the ring and clotheslined Lindsay Troy’s head right out of the ring. Benjamin then locked the arms of Troy and took her up and down with a double underhook powerbomb getting a two count. Troy made her way back to her feet and ducked underneath a second Benjamin clothesline attempt, but wasn’t able to avoid the ensuing mulekick that nailed her right in the gut. Benjamin bounced off the ropes and flipped over the doubled Troy once again getting a two count w/ the sunset flip. Troy kicked out and this time stopped Benjamin before he could get to his feet. Troy with a perfectly executed underhook facebreaker dropped Benjamin to the mat. Troy made the tag to Dan Ryan who stepped into the ring. Troy hoisted Benjamin over her head as Ryan went against the ropes .. Benjamin hit the mat hard with the Gorilla Press and then was splashed by Ryan for good measure. Ryan turned Benjamin over for the cover, but Chandler Maxwell made the save before the referee could finish his count.
3rd QUARTER: With Maxwell already in the ring he decided to help Benjamin out a little with a few shots to the back of Ryan’s head. Dan Ryan got to his feet and began to back Maxwell back to his corner .. but this gave Adam Benjamin enough time to regain some composure. Maxwell ducked through the ropes before Ryan could get to him, and Ryan turned to grab Benjamin off the mat. Adam Benjamin reached up with lightning speed and hooked ‘the Ego Buster’ with a small package, only getting a one count. Dan Ryan popped back to his feet and ripped Benjamin to his feet. Ryan sent Benjamin to the ropes and readied for his return … Ryan grabbed Benjamin for the spinebuster, but Adam Benjamin quickly used the momentum he had to his advantage and swung around with a spinning DDT! Dan Ryan was on the mat and Benjamin took his massive legs and somehow applied the figure four leglock! Ryan had no place to go as he was in the center of the ring and this allowed Adam Benjamin to catch his breath. Of course, the strain of trying to keep ‘the Ego Buster’ in the figure four began to take its toll as Benjamin looked weary … and eventually the hold was broken. Benjamin grabbed Ryan and dragged him into the Saviors of Wrestling corner before tagging in Chandler Maxwell. Maxwell stepped through the ropes and both members of Saviors of Wrestling grabbed their own leg before yanking them in opposite directions! Maxwell grabbed the leg of Ryan and applied pressure to the knee, but Ryan quickly got him off with a thumb to the eye! Dan Ryan was able to get back to his feet and made his way over to the corner to tag in Lindsay Troy. Troy was back in the ring and hooked Maxwell. She brought him up .. and then DRILLED him with a front suplex gutbuster drop. Troy made the cover, but Maxwell managed to get out before the three count.
END: Benjamin and Troy were in the ring towards the end of the match and Benjamin was taking it to the EPW World Heavyweight champion. After a succession of snap suplexes Benjamin grabbed Troy and hit a bridging German suplex that appeared to get the three count. Benjamin hopped up to his feet in celebration, but the referee was quick to tell him that Troy got her shoulder up at the last second. Benjamin was not happy and let the referee know this. Meanwhile, Lindsay Troy was slowly rising to her feet. Benjamin came over and nailed her with three stiff European uppercuts that sent her reeling. Benjamin tagged in Chandler Maxwell and both men took turns hitting the European uppercuts. Dan Ryan came into the ring, grabbed onto Adam Benjamin, and chokeslammed him to the mat. Dan Ryan turned towards Maxwell and it seemed as if Chandler Maxwell was next, but Maxwell avoided Ryan’s grasp and hit a reverse Russian legsweep sending Ryan to the mat. Maxwell then dropped the leg across the back of the head of Dan Ryan to drive the point home and Maxwell then went to get Benjamin to his feet … he took his eyes off Lindsay Troy for only a moment, but that’s all Troy ever needs. One minute she’s down .. the next she’s up .. on the top rope, that is. Lindsay Troy stood atop the turnbuckle pad and waited for her opponent to make his move. Maxwell turned to find ‘the Queen of the Ring’ … and he found her flying through the air with a top rope corkscrew moonsault into a Tornado DDT .. a move she calls the Crowning Glory. Three seconds later and the Inner Circle moved on to the finals of the World Tag Team Championship tournament.
WINNERS: The Inner Circle via pinfall after Lindsay Troy hit the Crowning Glory on Chandler Maxwell at 18:18.
GHEORGHE: "THEY DID IT! THEY DID IT!! INNER CIRCLE WILL BE GOING ON TO THE FINALS TO FACE BORED OF EDUKASHUN!"
JULIUS: "I called it! I told you Inner Circle would walk away tonight as finalists!"
JIVE: "So didn’t I!"
JULIUS: "Pipe down cocksmoker!"
GHEORGHE: "Lindsay Troy and Dan Ryan … ARE ONE STEP CLOSER TO BECOMING New ERA’s WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!"
JULIUS: "I think Gheorghe is busting a nut in his pants … and I know that Jive already did after watching Peter File earlier…"
JIVE: "One day you’re going to wake up in a box in the desert…"
GHEORGHE: "Congratulations to Dan Ryan and Lindsay Troy … they face a tough team in Bored of Edukashun … but you know what, Saviors of Wrestling did a DAMN fine job tonight! The fans are letting them know this …"
JULIUS: "Losers are still losers, Gheorghe.. stop treating them like they’re in the special Olympics."
GHEORGHE: "I’m not! Saviors of Wrestling are the best technical tag team in New ERA … and it was just a tough week for them apparently …. but you know they’re going to rebound quickly."
JIVE: "Yea .. that’s it …"
GHEORGHE: "We’ve GOT to take a commercial break .. but when we come back .. it’s tonight’s MAIN EVENT .. the World Heavyweight Championship Lumberjack match between the Phantom Republican .. and World Heavyweight champion ‘Gentleman’ Jonathan Marx …. PLUS … time is running out on finding out about the stipulation for the main event of the joint pay per view … don’t miss out as it’s revelation should be coming up as well!!"
( continued... )