[ Coliseo de Puerto Rico ] San Juan, Puerto Rico
TAPED: Jan. 29, 2007
AIRED: Mar. 22, 2007
EPISODE: RAUCOUS 29
(Click Clock. Click clock. The sound of high heels walking down the hallway fill the airwaves. The camera slowly fades in on those high heels. The person they belong to walks down a long, well lit hallway.)
(CUTTO: A janitor standing in front of a doorway. He puts down his broom and looks up at the name tag. "Juliet Marceau.")
JANITOR: "Guess we won’t be needing this anymore .. good heavens."
(He reaches up and begins to slide it out from its placeholder.)
(CUTTO: Over the janitor’s shoulder. Behind him we see a woman’s body. The camera slowly scans from her high heels, up her legs, stomach, shoulders. It slowly focuses on Juliet Marceau. She begins tapping her foot, causing the janitor to turn.)
MARCEAU: "Not so fast.."
MARCEAU: "I’m not going anywhere."
(FADETOBLACK. CUTTO: Darkness. CUEUP: "Who Said" by Planet Funk as the RAUCOUS logo fades onto the screen.)
GHEORGHE (V/O): "Tonight .. New ERA of Wrestling celebrates … as RAUCOUS comes from San Juan, Puerto Rico … for its three year anniversary show!"
(CUTTO: Inside the Coliseo de Puerto Rico. Fans have jam-packed the arena as there are New ERA flags hanging from the rafters. On the top of the ramp, near the big screens, pyro goes off as "NEW" is formed by the fire. CUTTO: The announce table as Tom Gheorghe, Nick Jive, and Dean Julius sit.)
GHEORGHE: "Welcome everyone to San Juan, Puerto Rico .. and welcome to New ERA of Wrestling’s three year anniversary show!"
JIVE: "Three years ago .. on this very day .. we rocked the shit out of the Worcester Centrum in Worcester, Massachusetts … and here we are today in San Juan still going strong!"
GHEORGHE: "It seems like just yesterday, Nick."
JULIUS: "Will you two stop it with this nauseating lovefest? Yes this is the three year anniversary show .. but more importantly, tonight is the night that Jonathan Marx finally rights the wrong of the Title-Crowning RAUCOUS from Greensboro, North Carolina and tosses Larry Tact’s ass over the top rope."
GHEORGHE: "We’ve got an amazing sh…"
(The lights go out.)
GHEORGHE: "What’s going on here?"
Things Don't Change Much
JULIUS: "Freaking Puerto Rico.. they wonder why they haven’t become a state yet."
(CUEUP: ‘The Ghost of Tom Joad’ by Rage Against the Machine.)
GHEORGHE: "The lights have gone out … I can’t see a thing!"
(FLASH! Strobe lights from illuminate the arena.)
JULIUS: "I hope we don’t have any epileptics in the crowd tonight …"
(Darkness. The lights come up and standing in the middle of the rampway is a figure. SFX: CROWD POPS!)
GHEORGHE: "JARED WELLS! JARED WELLS IS HERE IN SAN JUAN!"
JIVE: "I thought he was dead!"
(Wells struts down the rampway and makes his way into the ring, grabbing a microphone in the process. The music dies down and he stands there, a smirk on his face. He wears a t-shirt that says "F’N YOU LONGER THAN A DECADE!" as he sports a new military style haircut.)
WELLS: "Its funny, I've worn shirts that said d-XXX, I've disrespected everyone around me, I've thrown people off cruise ships, I've even came to heart with a illegal Mexican to hang around. I still take credit on why Maelstrom is gone. Yet, I have about five kids I don't know about. But you people still clap."
(Wells paces back and forth.)
WELLS: "For those of you that still cheer for me, I have respect for you. That fan knows what I've done, did, and gonna do. Former WWL World Champion three times, and the greatest B.A.D World Champion, EVVVVER!"
(Crowd pops, although some jeer.)
JULIUS: "What is this .. toot your own horn day? You guys did it earlier and now Wells has come out and he’s joined in on the party."
WELLS: "Everybody has been wondering where I went.. Where the FUCK is Jared Wells? According to the internet I've either.."
(Holds up his thumb.)
WELLS: "A. Went into rehab."
JIVE: "That wouldn’t surprise me."
(Holds up his pointer finger.)
WELLS: "B. Retired."
JULIUS: "We could only have been so lucky."
GHEORGHE: "Stop it…"
(Wells holds up his middle finger.)
WELLS: "C. Gained weight."
JULIUS: "I think we’ve got a winner…"
(Wells holds up his ring finger.)
WELLS: "or D .. Died."
JIVE: "I thought I read that on 1wrestling!"
GHEORGHE: "Why do you read that trash?"
WELLS: "None of the above my friends. In fact while you FUCKERS sat there wishing, wondering .. I was out there drinking, wining 'em, dining 'em .. (smiles) sixty nining 'em. (Imitation of a nerd/voice) ‘You know Jared Wells, times haaavvee changed!’"
(He flips his middle finger up in the air at the crowd.)
WELLS: "FUCK it. I really don't give a damn about time changes. Only thing that has changed on me is my shirt. The only problem is that some things around here have not changed. I mean who do we have?"
(He pauses and looks around the arena.)
WELLS: "Larry and his TACTILIZED wiener. MWG, who still shops at DICKS instead of Sports Authority. And Jean Rabesque, the true three pump chump."
(Some in the crowd laugh.)
GHEORGHE: "Jared Wells was one of New ERA’s original superstars … and now he’s come back … and obviously hasn’t changed a bit!"
WELLS: (screams) "I AM THE FUCKING WILLY WONKA OF THIS INDUSTRY!
JULIUS: "I thought Jive was the only one who touched little boys.."
WELLS: "Land of confusion it is, and its nothing new to me. Where I stand today, I have no clue. But my history in this business proves that I've always done what I want. I still do not use a condom. I still hate people."
JIVE: "I don’t use condoms either."
JULIUS: "That’s because you never get laid, idiot."
WELLS: "If I gotta be a professional right now.... EVERYBODY SUCKS. And if I had to be unprofessional, EVERYBODY STILL SUCKS."
WELLS: "No job, no home, no peace, no rest. The sad truth to the NEW is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil. The NEW is full of too much simplicity, and it’s boring. Uncle Jared is coming to rape and pillage New ERA of Wrestling!"
(He drops the mic as "The Ghost of Tom Joad" cues up. He exits the ring and makes his way up to the curtains.)
GHEORGHE: "WOW! What a way to start off our three year anniversary show … Jared Wells .. back in action .. and we also saw former Vice President Juliet Marceau earlier, too! She’s supposed to have left to start the all-woman VENUS Wrestling Alliance .."
JIVE: "She said she wasn’t going anywhere … who knows what will happen!"
GHEORGHE: "We’ve got an incredible lineup tonight … Jesus .. I still can’t get over Jared Wells! We’ve gotta take a commercial break .. but when we come back … HAL and Cameron Cruise go head … to … head!"
The First One
(CUTTO: The lockerroom area. We see a figure walking around with a duffle bag. He sets it on the bench and unzips it.)
VOICE: "And today .. is your lucky day.."
(The camera fades back revealing former World Heavyweight champion Larry Tact holding a white invitation envelope. He taps it on his palm as he stands in front of a locker.)
TACT: "Too bad that at the SuperCard .. you’ll have the most hellacious night of your life."
(He slides the invitation through the slits on the locker. Without pausing, he turns, grabs the duffle bag from the bench and walks out of the shot. The camera zooms in on the locker. "THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN.")
GHEORGHE: "And it looks like Larry Tact is beginning to send out his invitations to that huge match he has set up for the EPW / NEW SuperCard … where both promotions’ championships will be on the card … in one of the most star studded events ever to be on pay per view."
JIVE: "The Phantom Republican has been invited .. you know Larry Tact’s in the match .. that’s two former World Heavyweight champions right there … this thing is already looking good!"
GHEORGHE: "The EPW/NEW SuperCard will be coming up pretty shortly .. and if all things run smoothly .. we might just have back-to-back pay per views!"
JULIUS: "More money in my pocket!"
GHEORGHE: "Before we get into the first match of the evening .. we do gotta tell you that unfortunately we’ve had to cancel a few matches tonight. The John Doe / Trevor Cane "Fans Bring the Weapons" match .. which I know was heavily looked forward to is no longer on tonight’s show. Thanks to the utter annihilation of Cane by Chaos … he will be out of action for an unknown period of time."
JULIUS: "I bet he wished he didn’t get involved in the P©X Championship match and cost Chaos the title now.."
GHEORGHE: "We send our regards for a speedy recovery .. but we know that he’ll be back in the near future. Also ..Steve Solex was the victim of a misunderstanding at the airport .. apparently he was on a "No Fly" list .. and was stuck in Miami for hours on end!"
JIVE: "They probably took one look at him and added him on the spot."
GHEORGHE: "So .. once again, another highly anticipated match, the Unlucky 13 match, between Jason Payne and Solex will have to be re-scheduled for another time …"
JULIUS: "The fans were robbed of what could have been two highly entertaining matches .."
GHEORGHE: "There are still three huge main events … the beginning of the Tag Team Championship tournament .. HAL versus Cameron Cruise and the P©X Championship match .. I don’t think that that’s anything to thumb at."
JIVE: "We still got a lot of great matches .."
GHEORGHE: "Well, one of those won’t be the Wild Card round of the Tag Team Championship tournament between Team In Vain and Jack ‘n Hoff … neither team made the flight to San Juan, and I guess neither had a good reason to miss the flight, so Marcus LaRoque told them to stay home for the show!"
JULIUS: "You mean LaRoque grew balls?"
JIVE: "I guess when Marceau left and took the only pair that management had, LaRoque was forced to grow some."
GHEORGHE: "Aren’t you guys just a riot .. although it seems that Juliet is back in the arena tonight.. and back in New ERA?"
JULIUS: "I still don’t know what that’s all about .. but I’m sure we’ll find out."
GHEORGHE: "We’re going to kick things off here … HAL and Cameron Cruise .. the TEAM Dupree Cup Co-Most Valuable Wrestler against the man who has come so close on many occasions to winning the Television Championship."
JIVE: "Cameron Cruise is like the Boston Red Sox to the Television Championship.. he comes so close .. but can never get over the hump."
JULIUS: "They just won the championship like in 2004."
JIVE: "That’s beside the point, Julius."
GHEORGHE: "Well both men are tough competitors .. and I know that both men want a chance to finally dethrone Mr. Entertainment in the future .. that is if Steven Shane doesn’t do it tonight."
JIVE: "HA! Like that will happen!"
GHEORGHE: "Let’s go down to ringside for the ring introductions and get this show on the road!"
(CUTTO: Carl Jacobs standing in the ring. The lineup for the match comes across the screen.)
HAL vs. Cameron Cruise
JACOBS: "LADIES … and GENTLEMAN… the following match is scheduled for one fall and has a thirty minute time limit ….. INTRODUCING FIRST …. hailing from Redwood, Washington…"
(CUEUP: "It’s All About the Pentiums" by Weird Al. HAL comes from behind the curtains to a huge jeer. He walks down the ring, ignoring the fans, but typing away on the laptop that is strapped to him.)
JACOBS: "He stands six foot three and weighs 255 pounds .. he is the TEAM Dupree Cup Co-Most Valuable Wrestler … representing Team New ERA ….. he … is … HAL!"
(HAL finally takes the laptop off his chest as the crowd continues to jeer.)
JIVE: "That man .. is quite possibly the most intelligent wrestler in the world today. He comes out to the ring with fifty different plans .. all calculated .. all proven to work … and Cameron Cruise is going to have no chance tonight."
(CUEUP: "Headstrong" by Trapt. The arena lights begin flashing as the crowd pops. Cameron Cruise and Mercedes Devon step through the curtains and begin walking to the ring.)
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise trying to rebound after losing his shot to become Television champion last week .. and a victory over HAL here tonight would definitely boost him back up."
JACOBS: "His opponent … hailing from Jacksonville, North Carolina … being led to the ring by Mercedes Devon … he stands six foot four and weighs 248 pounds ….. CAMERON … CRUISE!"
JIVE: "Both men pretty evenly matched up … so this match is going to come down to brains over brawn … and HAL is leaps and bounds ahead in that department.."
(SFX: Bell rings.)
BEGINNING: These two started off hot and heavy. Cameron Cruise started off with a fire under his ass it seemed as he nailed some beautiful swinging neckbreakers from the start. HAL wouldn’t stay down, which allowed Cruise to keep up the offensive. Cruise sent HAL to the ropes, and on the return grabbed him and powerslammed the New ERA’s official computer guru to the mat with authority. Cruise covered but only got a one count. HAL started to make his mark felt as he sidestepped a Cruise high knee, and clipped the knee sending Cruise to the mat. HAL grabbed the leg, twisted it around his own and dropped to the mat hyper-extending the patella. When the referee wasn’t watching he reached back and grabbed onto the ropes for extra leverage. The referee looked back after seeing Cruise unexpectedly yell out with extra force, but he didn’t see anything out of the ordinary as HAL had let go in time. HAL’s offense was quickly halted, however, after he tried to piledrive Cruise to the mat. Cameron Cruise blocked the first attempt, and the second, and then countered by back body dropping HAL to the mat. HAL quickly got to his feet, but it was too late as Cruise sent a hard boot to the gut doubling him over. Cruise hooked the head of HAL and sent him crashing to the mat with a piledriver of his own. Cruise went against the ropes for momentum and then drove both feet into the face of HAL with the baseball slide. HAL was sent sliding into the corner from the impact and HAL ran to the corner opposite from him. Cruise then flew out of the corner and midway across the mat leapt high into the air driving both feet into the chest of HAL with a literal drop kick. HAL was then dragged from the corner and covered .. but managed to get the shoulder up at two and a half.
2nd QUARTER: Cruise continued to work HAL over .. and the two men spilled to the outside. The referee went out after them to try to get them back in the ring, but that did NOT work out as planned. Cruise whipped HAL into the guardrail and came in after him, but HAL still had some sense of ring presence as he yanked himself out of the way causing Cruise to crash chest first into the steel. HAL whipped Cruise around, placed the jaw of Cruise on his head .. and dropped to the mat with a jawbreaker. Cruise stumbled forward, but HAL was not about to let this opportunity go to waist. He grabbed the head of Cruise and sent him flying face first into the steel ring post! Cruise hit it and fell like a ton of bricks to the arena floor. The referee finally had enough and slid into the ring to begin the count. HAL rolled Cruise in at 4 and followed him in at 5. Cruise tried to crawl across the ring, but HAL caught him by the ankle and applied an ankle lock right in the center of the ring! Cruise looked like he was "thisclose" to tapping, but somehow held on long enough for HAL to become impatient. That wasn’t exactly the best thing for Cruise it would seem, as HAL dropped down with a vicious elbow smack dab in the middle of Cruise’s face. HAL made the cover, but Cruise kicked out at 2. HAL picked ‘the Crippler’ back to his feet and brought him over with a beautiful belly to belly suplex that sent Cruise flying into the corner. This time it was HAL’s turn for the drop kick.. but as HAL reached the middle of the ring, Cruise had it all planned out and he pulled himself out of the corner.
3rd QUARTER: HAL wasn’t to be fooled, though, as he stopped himself before getting in the air. While Cruise was resting on the second rope thinking that he had outsmarted the computer programmer, HAL bounced off the far ropes and came crashing down on the back of Cruise, smashing his throat on the ropes. HAL then grabbed the legs of Cruise and yanked him as hard as he could from the ropes causing him to slam face first into the mat. HAL got the 2 count, and it seemed as if he almost had a potential three. HAL seemed to be a bit too cocky for his own good though as he began to ascend the turnbuckle. His foot got stuck in between the second and third ropes … and that allowed Cruise enough time to get to his feet and make his way to the corner. HAL was too focused on figuring out how to free his leg that he didn’t see the big right hook coming! HAL was rocked back and fell flat down on the top turnbuckle pad. Cruise knocked the foot free .. but that was about all he had in mind for goodwill. Cruise climbed the ropes and brought HAL to his feet. With both men standing on the top turnbuckle pad, Cameron Cruise hooked the head of HAL … and the fans almost broke from the stands as he jumped backwards off the turnbuckle and DDT’ed HAL from the top rope! HAL lied motionless in the ring with Cruise lying next to him. Cruise was able to eventually throw the arm over HAL, but too much time had elapsed and he got a very, very close 2 count. Both men struggled to get to their feet, and after what seemed like an eternity, they finally did. They met up in the middle of the ring and traded blow after blow, neither man backing down.
END: Cruise and HAL took things to the outside one more time as both men went over the top rope when neither released their collar and elbow tie up. Cruise seemed to be in better shape as he got to his feet first. While the referee was heading to the outside, however, HAL took advantage of the chance and grabbed his PDA smashing it against the head of Cruise. The referee hopped down onto the broken pieces .. and then apologized to HAL for "breaking" it! HAL rolled his eyes before slamming the head of Cruise into the apron. HAL then whipped Cruise into the ring steps and followed in with a knee to the head. Cruise made a valiant effort to stop the onslaught when he caught HAL offguard and grabbed his waist sending him throat first into the guardrail. Both men were on the arena floor and the referee tried to get them to go back in the ring. Cruise made it to his feet first which brought the fans to their feet .. and he grabbed the head of HAL and nailed him with a European uppercut. After rolling HAL back in the ring Cruise went to the top .. and flew off with a BEAUTIFUL frog splash! Beautiful in every way … except for the fact that HAL put up the knees at the last second. Cruise rolled off and somehow managed to barely kick out of the ensuing pinfall attempt. HAL used the ropes to get to his feet and he waited as Cruise gingerly picked himself off the mat. Cruise turned .. and was met with a boot to the gut. HAL grabbed the waist, picked Cruise up in the gutwrench suplex, and finished him off with the powerslam. Control, Alt, Delete and Cruise’s process was ended in an instant.
WINNER: HAL via pinfall after nailing the CTRL + ALT + DEL at 13:21.
GHEORGHE: "What a victory for HAL here tonight … Cameron Cruise did a damn good job trying to fend off the computer genius .. but tonight just turned out to be HAL’s night."
JULIUS: "Was there any doubt in your mind? HAL ran circles around Cruise .. and will continue to do so to every person in the league."
GHEORGHE: "HAL is certainly a fantastic wrestler."
JIVE: "He didn’t become the TEAM Dupree Cup Most Valuable Wrestler by his looks.. I can tell you that!"
GHEORGHE: "Ladies and gentleman .. we have the first of the wild card matches .. hell, I guess the only wild card match of the night coming up next … and I certainly can’t wait."
(CUTTO: The Office of Marcus LaRoque. He sits in his plush leather chair banging a pencil on the desk repeatedly.)
LaROQUE: "So what’s the deal, Juliet?"
(CUTTO: Juliet Marceau, sitting directly across from him, her briefcase open on her lap.)
MARCEAU: "Listen. Things .. didn’t go as well as I planned."
LaROQUE: "You can say that again. I haven’t seen BITCHIN’ on the air yet.."
(Marceau’s face turns red, but she maintains her calm.)
MARCEAU: "My distributor canceled the deal before we got a chance .. and we’re still looking for the one that we taped. But let’s just focus on here and now."
MARCEAU: "VENUS flopped. We lost a couple of wrestlers .. and there just aren’t enough venues .. hell, any really, that want to give us an opportunity to shine."
(LaRoque puts his hand up.)
LaROQUE: "Listen. I love women’s wrestling just as much as the … well … I love women’s wrestling. But we don’t have the air time to promote VENUS now that we’ve got the tag team division."
MARCEAU: "I know. I don’t want to bring VENUS on New ERA television. I want back in as Vice President."
(LaRoque drops his pencil on the desk and looks at her.)
MARCEAU: "I know VENUS is my very own XFL … but I’ve got all the paperwork .. all the contracts that we signed right here in my briefcase … and I’m willing to take them right into that corner and shred them all."
(LaRoque glances over her shoulder toward the shredder.)
MARCEAU: "You can have RAPTURE back .."
(LaRoque stops her before she can talk anymore.)
LaROQUE: "What about your women?"
MARCEAU: "One or two want to come back.. the others .. who cares."
LaROQUE: "I’ll think about it, Juliet."
MARCEAU: "I’m not going to get on my knees and beg, Marcus."
LaROQUE: "I don’t need that .. just having you crawling back in here was enough to satisfy me. I’ll let you know soon."
GHEORGHE: "Juliet Marceau back as Vice President of New ERA?"
JIVE: "Thank God! We need her guidance!"
JULIUS: "Sucking up already."
GHEORGHE: "Wow .. I guess VENUS didn’t get too far off the ground.."
JIVE: "Well, you heard Marceau .. they’re still looking for someone to air the one episode they taped … who knows if it will ever be released!"
JULIUS: "It will end up on a NEW DVD somewhere."
GHEORGHE: "Well hopefully it will be shown sometime soon .. I heard some very good things about the main event between Foxx and Karla Starr .. and if VENUS is dead .. it will be interesting to find out if Starr managed to maintain the title .. because if she did, then that would have made her the sole champion in the two year history of it."
JIVE: "Enough about that dead weight .. let’s talk about the Tag Team division … something that we haven’t had in New ERA before."
JULIUS: "I for one love tag team wrestling."
GHEORGHE: "As do I, Dean … tag team wrestling is a lost art form in wrestling these days .. and I am very excited that New ERA has decided to create a division .. although we aren’t able to have both our Wild Card matches tonight .. the one coming up between the Saviors of Wrestling and Bored of Edukashun should be a doozy."
JIVE: "Bored of Edukashun really struck a nerve with me .. these two young men seem like they should be in a frathouse, not tag team championship tournament.."
GHEORGHE: "Adam Benjamin and Chandler Maxwell are a tough team who have found success in tag team wrestling before .. so I might have to take them tonight. I’ll take experience any day."
JULIUS: "Oh please. If I have to listen to you plug another worthless piece of trash I’m going to vomit."
GHEORGHE: "Adam Benjamin is one of today’s most sound technical wrestlers .. and with Chandler Maxwell at his side I can’t even begin to doubt that they’ll walk away the champions when this tournament is over and done with."
JIVE: "I think the more important factor in this match is who wants the bye more. The winner of this match won’t have to put their spot in the tournament on the line next show .. whereas the loser will have to fight again in order to keep their hopes alive."
GHEORGHE: "The quarterfinals of the tournament will happen on next RAUCOUS .. and I guess next RAPTURE, too if Marcus LaRoque accepts Juliet Marceau back into New ERA… but right now let’s go to Carl Jacobs for the ring introductions and kick off this tag team division!"
(CUTTO: Carl Jacobs in the ring as the lineup for the match comes on screen.)
World Tag Team Championship Tournament
Saviors of Wrestling vs. Bored of Edukashun
JACOBS: "The following match is scheduled for one fall and has a thirty minute time limit.. it is the Wild Card round of the World Tag Team Championship tournament … and the winner of tonight’s contest will automatically receive a bye into the semi-final round!"
(SFX: Crowd pops. CUEUP: "White & Nerdy" by Weird Al. Tyler Hensen and Sherman Wentworth make their way through the curtain to a round of cheers. They enter the ring.)
JACOBS: "Introducing first … at a combined weight of 415 pounds … TYLER HENSEN … SHERMAN WENTWORTH …… BORED … of EDUKASHUN!"
(Wentworth and Hensen give each other enthusiastic high fives in the middle of the ring. The crowd continues to pop for them.)
GHEORGHE: "Those two youngsters have a lot of energy .. and while they might not have the experience of Saviors of Wrestling .. they should definitely be a threat in the future."
JACOBS: "And their opponents…"
(CUEUP: "Lose Yourself" by Eminem. Adam Benjamin and Chandler Maxwell race down the ramp and slide into the ring getting right into the face of Bored of Edukashun.)
JACOBS: "ADAM BENJAMIN …. CHANDLER MAXWELL …. the SAVIORS of WRESTLING!"
(SFX: Bell rings.)
BEGINNING: New ERA’s World Tag Team Championship tournament got off to a banging start as the fans were truly into this affair. Tyler Hensen and Adam Benjamin started things off for their respective teams. Benjamin, being the pure athletic wrestler he is, easily outdid Hensen in the beginning. Hensen wasn’t able to withstand the early technical ability of ‘Yours Truly’ after Benjamin repeatedly countered each and every move he attempted. Benjamin finally caught Hensen looking after leapfrogging over him; Hensen turned, and Benjamin connected with a picture-perfect dropkick right to the jaw. Benjamin made the tag to Chandler Maxwell and as Benjamin held Hensen wide open, Maxwell came off the far ropes and connected with a spear that practically took both men to the outside! Benjamin went to the outside and Maxwell began to methodically break the Missouran down. Maxwell grabbed the head and locked the legs bringing Hensen to the mat with a Russian legsweep and immediately tagged Benjamin back in. However things wouldn’t last this way for the Saviors of Wrestling for long as Hensen ducked underneath a Benjamin clothesline and nailed the superkick as his opponent turned around. Hensen made his way over to the Bored of Edukashun corner and tagged in his partner Sherman Wentworth. Wentworth had much better luck in the beginning than Hensen as he picked Benjamin off the mat and locked the arms around behind the neck before dropping Benjamin with the Full Nelson leg sweep. Wentworth grabbed ‘Yours Truly’ from off the mat and sent him to the ropes, but Benjamin reversed. Wentworth came back, ducked underneath the clothesline attempt by Benjamin and on the next pass by nailed a breathtaking flying headscissors that brought the fans to their feet! Wentworth made the tag to Hensen and held Benjamin in place with a full nelson. Tyler Hensen took a few steps back and hit a beautifully placed superkick, from which the momentum helped Wentworth bring Benjamin up and over with the German suplex .. a move they call the "Drop Out."
2nd QUARTER: Benjamin made his way to his feet after Wentworth failed to follow up on the Drop Out .. Wentworth came in and locked the waist of ‘Yours Truly’ but Benjamin countered the belly to back suplex by flipping over the shoulder .. and he quickly tagged in Chandler Maxwell. Wentworth turned and was taken down to the mat by a drop toe hold which gave Maxwell the perfect opportunity to drop the leg across the back of the neck. Benjamin made his way to the outside while his partner applied a front face lock on the mat. Wentworth struggled to break free, but Maxwell kept the hold on tight. Maxwell slowly brought himself, and Wentworth, to a standing position, maintaining the front facelock the entire time. Maxwell made a quick tag to Benjamin as the Saviors of Wrestling began to get in the groove. Benjamin climbed the ropes and came down hard with a double axehandle into the small of Wentworth’s back. With Wentworth on the mat, Benjamin flipped him onto his back and made the cover, and got a two count. Benjamin made another tag to Maxwell, and this time they both grabbed onto an arm of Sherman Wentworth and whipped him into the ropes. Wentworth flew into the ropes and came back … and was met with a double dropkick square in the jaw. Maxwell made the cover and once against Wentworth kicked out at two. Maxwell tried to keep Wentworth down on the mat, but that proved to be a difficult task as Wentworth spun out of the 2nd front facelock attempt, grabbing onto the arm of Maxwell and applying a hammerlock in the process. Maxwell was then forced into the corner where Tyler Hensen was waiting .. and Wentworth finally made the tag to his partner. Hensen came in, and grabbed the arm of Maxwell taking over from where his partner left off as the hammerlock was passed on to him. Maxwell made a desperate attempt at hitting a back elbow to Hensen’s face with his free arm, but Hensen telegraphed it and used the momentum to take Maxwell over with a Northern Lights Suplex.
3rd QUARTER: All four men were in the ring as the match really began to heat up. Maxwell and Hensen were in one corner duking it out while their respective partners were in the opposite corner doing the same. Maxwell drove some stiff looking knees into the gut of Hensen which caused him to buckle to the mat … Maxwell didn’t let up as he repeatedly drove the boots into the chest of his opponent. Sherman Wentworth took a break from rocking Benjamin with left hooks and saw his partner in trouble, and he started towards the two .. Adam Benjamin wasn’t about to let that happen as he flew from behind Wentworth, grabbed his head and slammed his face into the mat with a running bulldog. The referee tried to get control of the match, but that proved to be about as successful as the war in Iraq.. Benjamin straddled Wentworth and began slinging away with closed fists .. and Maxwell jammed the heel of his boot into the throat of Hensen just a few feet away. Maxwell brought Hensen to his feet and called for Benjamin to bring Wentworth up .. with the Saviors of Wrestling in control, and both members of Bored of Edukashun on their feet, Maxwell and Benjamin whipped Hensen and Wentworth right into each other, causing them to knock heads! Both men tumbled to the mat, and were covered at the same time for good measure! Wentworth managed to kick out before 2, and his partner followed suit before the three count. The referee finally managed to get Benjamin and Wentworth to their corners .. and while he was doing so Chandler Maxwell brought Tyler Hensen to the corner. With the crowd counting along, Maxwell introduced Hensen’s forehead to the turnbuckle pad ten times .. Hensen was so used to the motion that even after Maxwell released the hold he couldn’t help but hit the pad one more time out of habit it would seem.
END: Things were looking up for the Saviors of Wrestling as Maxwell tagged Adam Benjamin into the ring and then held Tyler Hensen in place while Benjamin made his way against the far ropes. Benjamin flew in with the flying forearm, but somehow Hensen dropped himself down sending Benjamin’s forearm smack dab in the face of Chandler Maxwell! Maxwell went down like a ton of bricks and Adam Benjamin was visibly upset by the mishap. Hensen was making his way to his corner, but Adam Benjamin wasn’t going to let what just happened go unpunished! He grabbed the legs of Hensen, flipped him over, and dropped a leg dangerously low in the abdomen. ‘Yours Truly’ got to his feet and grabbed the legs of Hensen one more time. Instead of dropping another leg, he hooked the legs and turned Hensen over for the Boston Crab. Chandler Maxwell made his way to the corner after regaining his senses .. and reached out for the tag. Adam Benjamin nodded almost to say "in a sec" as he continued to ride the Boston Crab. The referee asked Hensen if he wanted to submit, but to no avail. Benjamin then tagged in Maxwell and they went to transfer the Boston Crab … but out of nowhere Sherman Wentworth came flying across the ring and cross bodied both men! The referee didn’t know what to do .. and he tried to get Wentworth out of the ring .. but it was already too late! Maxwell and Benjamin grabbed ahold of Wentworth and doubled him over with coinciding boots to the gut. Benjamin grabbed the arm of Wentworth and yanked him forward for the short arm clothesline, but Wentworth ducked underneath and by the time Benjamin turned back around, he was met with a dropkick that sent him flying over the top rope to the arena floor. Wentworth turned around .. but he didn’t turn out much luckier as Maxwell had a full head of steam and clotheslined Wentworth over the top rope to the arena floor! Maxwell rubbed his hands together as if to say he just took out the trash .. but he forgot about one thing .. Tyler Hensen. Maxwell turned around and was immediately grabbed by the Missouran. Hensen brought Maxwell up .. and down with the Chalk Line Flatliner … and it was elementary from there as he got the one, the two, and the three (look ma, I can count)!
WINNERS: Bored of Edukashun via pinfall after Tyler Hensen hit the Chalk Line Flatliner on Chandler Maxwell at 18:51.
GHEORGHE: "And I just ate my words! Bored of Edukashun came out here tonight and deservedly move on to the semi-finals … but what a battle those two teams put out!"
JIVE: "I thought for sure toward the end that the Saviors of Wrestling had them .. but it just goes to show that you can’t count your chickens before they hatch. Lucky for Saviors of Wrestling that they’re still in the tournament .. it will just take a little longer for them to make it to the finals no…"
Not Out Yet
(CUEUP: "The Perfect Drug" by NIN. Marcus LaRoque steps through the curtain as Bored of Edukashun walk by him. Saviors of Wrestling continue to walk up the ramp.)
LaROQUE: "This is exactly why I wanted a tag team division .. the intensity .. and the desire drove both these teams tonight .. let’s give them a hand!"
(SFX: Cheap pops.)
LaROQUE: "It’s a shame that only one team gets a bye …"
GHEORGHE: "You can say that again.."
JULIUS: "It’s a shame that only one team gets a bye?"
GHEORGHE: "Thanks, Dean."
LaROQUE: "Well .. I’m out here to change that."
(SFX: Crowd pops!)
GHEORGHE: "Wait a minute .. what did he say?"
JULIUS: "Would you like him to repeat himself again?"
LaROQUE: "Since neither Team In Vain nor Jack n’ Hoff made it to the arena .. and since I like to reward hard work … Adam .. Chandler … congratulations .. you will receive a bye in the World Tag Team Championship tournament!"
(SFX: Crowd pops huge! Benjamin and Maxwell seem to be uplifted a bit as they nod in approval as they walk by.)
LaROQUE: "There’s no sense in keeping the Saviors of Wrestling out of the semifinals after the battle they just had … and so they get the bye nonetheless! New ERA’s Tag Team division should showcase the best teams .. and Saviors of Wrestling and Bored of Edukashun both showed that they deserve to be in the running of that distinction."
(CUEUP: "The Perfect Drug" by NIN. Marcus LaRoque waves as he leaves the platform.)
GHEORGHE: "Now that’s the fair decision to make! Both teams move on to the semi-finals .. which means that neither team will have their position in the tournament on the line next week!"
JULIUS: "I bet Jack n’ Hoff and Team In Vain are kicking themselves now."
JIVE: "I particularly like Jack n’ Hoff.."
JULIUS: "I know you like Jack n’ Hoff.."
GHEORGHE: "Oh god .. let’s take a commercial break."
(CUTTO: Ringside. The ring is full of .. sex toys.)
JULIUS: "Give me some of that vodka, Jive."
JIVE: "Fuck you.. get your own!"
GHEORGHE: "You guys are ridiculous, you know that?"
JIVE: "Hey .. if we have to sit through this next match .. you better believe that we’re going to need to be liquored up."
GHEORGHE: "You already are liquored up.."
JIVE: "That’s beside the point."
GHEORGHE: "We’ve got an interesting match coming up for the P©X Championship .. although with MWG choosing the stipulations of the match, I guess that isn’t much of a surprise."
JULIUS: "I liked it better when Chaos was choosing the stips to a P©X match.."
GHEORGHE: "This is a … MWG Wins No Matter What, Lemon Soaked Sex Toy match … and as you can see in the ring … the sex toys are already there."
JIVE: "And it wreaks of lemon juice at ringside, Gheorghe.. I’m going to suffocate."
JULIUS: "Can someone out back bring more lemon juice please?"
(CUTTO: Carl Jacobs in the ring as the lineup for the match comes on screen.)
PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme Championship
MWG Wins No Matter What;
Lemon-Soaked Sex Toy Match
Chaos vs. MWG (c)
JACOBS: "The following match is scheduled for one fall and has a thirty minute time limit .. it is a "MWG Wins No Matter What, Lemon Soaked Sex Toy" match for the PRODIGY© CLASSIC XTREME CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first .. the challenger…"
(CUEUP: "You Could Be Mine" by Guns n’ Roses. Chaos steps through the curtain in all his glory. He makes his way to the ring.)
JACOBS: "He hails from Las Vegas, Nevada … standing seven feet tall and weighing 305 pounds … he is a former Television AND 2-time P©X Champion …… CHAOS!"
GHEORGHE: "Chaos making his way to the ring .. and if he can beat MWG at his own game, he will walk out of here as the first ever three time New ERA champion."
JIVE: "And if this match is any indication of what MWG has in store for the future, I can only hope and dream that that happens."
JACOBS: "And his opponent…"
(CUEUP: "Faggot" by Mindless Self Indulgence. The big screen begins to scroll the colors of the rainbow as the song picks up speed.)
JACOBS: "He hails from where the sun shines and the bluebirds sing …. he is a former 2-time Television champion … and the current PRODIGY© CLASSIC XTREME champion …… EM … DUBBYA … GEE!!!"
(MWG steps through the curtains wearing nothing but a leather outfit. The P©X Championship strapped around his waist. He has a look of anticipation on his face as he makes his way to the ring.)
GHEORGHE: "MWG and Chaos .. both former Television champions .. one a former P©X champion, and the other the current one … this match has all the makings of a classic!"
JIVE: "A classic gay porn, you mean."
JULIUS: "Another one to go in your growing collection, right Jive?"
(SFX: Bell rings.)
BEGINNING: Chaos began the match surprisingly relaxed as he let MWG attack first. MWG tried to come at him from all angles, and each time was swatted to the mat. MWG eventually made his way to the top rope and flew off with a flying cross body, but Chaos caught him and planted him with a powerslam. While MWG was on the mat, Chaos was the first person to grab one of the sex toys, a gag ball, and waited for the champion to get to his feet. Chaos slammed the gag ball right into the forehead of MWG sending him back to the mat. The big man from Las Vegas then grabbed onto the legs of MWG and turned him over applying a Boston Crab .. which isn’t something you see Chaos do very often. Chaos’ much larger body made keeping the hold locked on very difficult as MWG was eventually able to squirm out. He pulled himself to the outside and fell to the arena floor. Chaos got back to his feet, and as MWG was getting up, reached over the top rope and grabbed the champion by the hair. MWG was waiting however, and poked Chaos in the eye with a small dildo. The dildo hitting Chaos in the eye was bad enough, but the fact that it was covered in lemon juice made the pain ten times worse. Chaos fell to the mat holding his eye, which allowed MWG to roll back into the ring and grab a whip and chain. Chaos then slammed the whip across the of Chaos, and then straddled him as he brought the chain around the throat of the former champion. He grabbed the chain with both hands and grasped it as tight as he could. Chaos slowly began to asphyxiate, and when he started to choke, MWG let up just a little bit. As Chaos regained his breath, MWG was quick to reapply pressure, only to let go once Chaos started to choke again. This time Chaos was quick to act and heaved himself backwards sending MWG crashing to the mat. MWG sat up, a sly smile on his face. He grabbed police nightstick and aimed it right towards the backside of Chaos.
MIDDLE: Chaos was able to avoid the excruciating pain that would have come with the insertion of the nightstick in his ass by throwing a back elbow that caught MWG right in the jaw. Chaos then grabbed the nightstick from MWG and clubbed him right in the balls. With MWG doubled over, Chaos grabbed him by the tights and placed him in between Chaos’ legs. Chaos brought MWG high over his head and then took a few steps forward before jackknifing him onto the chain used earlier in the match. Chaos looked like he was going to make a cover, but thought better of it and instead decided to choke MWG with his massive hands. MWG tried to escape by raking the eyes of Chaos, but Chaos felt no pain. MWG then used the next best thing by grabbing some anal beads and wrapping them around his fist. MWG then inserted his fist as far into Chaos’ mouth as he could which forced the big man to release the choke. MWG rolled to the arena floor and tried to regain his breath. Chaos was quick to follow and the two men battled on the outside. MWG found a chair and slammed it repeatedly into the face of Chaos, but Chaos was defiant even as the blood trickled into his eyes. Chaos kicked MWG in the gut and DDT’ed him into the chair. Once again Chaos refused to cover MWG, instead focusing on getting two tables from underneath the ring. Chaos slid one table into the ring and set the other one up on the outside. Once that was set up, Chaos grabbed MWG and laid him across it. Chaos used the ring steps to get back on the apron and he charged out from the corner and dropped an elbow onto the table … except MWG had rolled off which meant that Chaos went crashing through the table himself. Both men were down on the outside. MWG then used a pair of handcuffs that were by the ring and got one of Chaos’ hands locked in. He tried to handcuff Chaos to the bottom rope, but Chaos delivered a headbutt that sent him flying into the guardrail. Chaos then nailed a giant boot to the face that sent MWG flying over the guardrail and into the fans! The fans scattered as Chaos reached over, and proceeded to chokeslam MWG from one side of the guardrail back over into the ringside area on top of the chair that was on the arena floor.
END: Toward the end of the match Chaos really seemed to be in control just nailing MWG with one shot to the head after another. Chaos made one giant mistake, however, when he brought MWG into the corner and choked him with the standing boot to the throat. MWG was able to regain some composure and mule kick Chaos right in the balls. As Chaos bent over in pain, MWG, out of pure personal perseverance, shot out of the corner and nailed the swinging neckbreaker onto the hard plastic ten inch dildo. Chaos kicked out after one and a half, but he ended up getting 9 and a half right down his throat. Chaos obviously isn’t as orally skilled as MWG and ended up regurgitating over the corner of the mat. MWG slapped the ass of Chaos and tried to rip his pants down, but Chaos grabbed onto the sex swing that was lying in the corner and wrap MWG’s legs up in it. MWG tripped and fell over, which gave Chaos enough time to grab a bottle of Eros lube. MWG stood up and came back at Chaos, but ended up getting the entire bottle of lube shot into his eyes. MWG might be able to handle semen in his eyes just fine, but an entire bottle of lube turned out to be a little overwhelming as he fell to the mat holding his face. Chaos proceeded to use the handcuffs to lock MWG up, and then he picked up the whip from earlier and went to town on the P©X champion’s back. MWG was on all four knees when Chaos came off the second rope with Hitachi Magic Wand, slamming it across the back of MWG snapping it in half. Chaos then grabbed three cock rings and slid them on his hand before pounding away on the face of MWG. MWG was busted open and nearly knocked unconscious which allowed Chaos time to set up the table in the ring. He then walked around the ring and tossed as many dildos, including the vibrating ones, the double edged ones, and the clitoral pumps available, onto the table. MWG got to his feet and desperately tried to boot Chaos in the gut, most likely for the Disappear Here DDT attempt, but Chaos caught the leg, and grabbed a handful of MWG’s crotch, squeezing it as hard as he could. While most men would be screaming in pain, MWG actually seemed to liven up a bit, writhing in pleasure. Chaos picked him up by the crotch, and only by the crotch, placing him on the top rope. Chaos slowly ascended the ropes with him and before you know it, Chaosbombed the champion through the table. Chaos covered MWG’s face with a deflated blow up doll and made the cover for the three count, and the victory.
WINNER: Chaos via a Chaosbomb through a table covered with lemon-soaked dildos at 11:19.
JACOBS: "The winner of this match ….."
(He looks around .. and then shrugs his shoulders.)
(The crowd looks confused …)
JACOBS: "BUT … THE NEW PRODIGY© CLASSIC XTREME CHAMPION ……. CHAOS!"
(Chaos grabs the championship and holds it high above his head.)
GHEORGHE: "Chaos has done it! Chaos has become not only the first person to win the P©X Championship three times .. but he’s become the first ever New ERA superstar to win any title three times!"
JIVE: "And this marks his fourth championship overall! Now he’s two championships ahead of Jean Rabesque."
GHEORGHE: "MWG lying in the middle of the ring .. and even though Carl Jacobs announced that MWG won the match … he was forced to due to the stipulations of the match! What a fantastic showing by Chaos .. and you better believe that this rivalry is far from over, Nick and Dean."
JULIUS: "Chaos walked in here tonight .. and he just drilled MWG over and over until MWG didn’t have anything left. He’s the P©X championship personified, Gheorghe .. and there’s no denying it."
GHEORGHE: "I’ve just heard from Jason Tripp in the back that Juliet Marceau and Marcus LaRoque are talking in the corridor … let’s head back and see what’s going on!"
(CUTTO: Backstage. Marcus LaRoque and Juliet Marceau are standing next to the vending machines somewhere. Marceau has her briefcase by her side.)
LaROQUE: "I know that you want to come back to New ERA and resume your position as Vice President.."
MARCEAU: "Before you say no…"
LaROQUE: "I’m not saying no, Juliet.. but there will be some changes."
(She looks at him with a focused eye.)
LaROQUE: "We can work out the details when you sign the contract.."
(He turns and begins to walk away.)
(He stops and looks back.)
MARCEAU: "That episode of BITCHIN’?"
(He rolls his eyes as he realizes he won’t be thanked after all.)
LaROQUE: "I’ll think about it."
JULIUS: "The bitch is back!"
JIVE: "You better hope she doesn’t hear you say that."
JULIUS: "She said it first!"
GHEORGHE: "Marcus LaRoque letting Juliet Marceau resume her position as Vice President .. after all that stuff that she pulled when she annexed the women’s division and stole RAPTURE …"
JIVE: "You make her out to be some sort of bandit or something!"
GHEORGHE: "She is!"
GHEORGHE: "We have already had an action packed .. and an exciting night so far here on our three year anniversary … and things are about to pick up as we begin the first of three main events for the night .. the Television Championship match between Steven Shane .. and Mr. Entertainment."
JULIUS: "Mr. Entertainment told the world that he was going to bring the Television championship back to .. well, television .. and he has! He is quickly becoming the most fightingest champion in New ERA history."
JIVE: "Fightingest? That’s not even a word."
JULIUS: "Yes it is."
JIVE: "Not according to Microsoft Word spellcheck…"
GHEORGHE: "Oookkayy…. Last RAUCOUS Marcus LaRoque had a random drawing to determine who would face Mr. Entertainment tonight .. and Steven Shane was the lucky name to be drawn. Tonight he’ll have his shot to walk away with the Television championship."
JIVE: "Mr. Entertainment is too good .. he’s too witty .. and he’s too damn entertaining to lose the title tonight. Steven Shane is going to walk out of here brokenhearted and empty handed."
GHEORGHE: "Ladies and gentleman .. we are ready to begin tonight’s .. first main event!"
(CUTTO: Carl Jacobs in the ring as the lineup flashes on screen.)
MAIN EVENT #1
Steven Shane vs. Mr. Entertainment (c)
JACOBS: "The following match is scheduled for one fall and is tonight’s FIRST MAIN EVENT … it is for the New ERA of Wrestling TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!! Introducing first…"
(CUEUP: "Damn" by Fabolous. As the girls from DAMN give out their shout pyro shoots up from around the big screen causing a sizeable pop from the crowd. "SENSATIONAL" flashes quickly on the big screen as Steven Shane steps out from behind the curtain to a big pop.)
JACOBS: "He hails from Hollywood, California … standing six foot two, 253 pounds … ‘SENSATIONAL’ STEVEN SHANE!"
JULIUS: "Shane is from Hollywood .. a town that Mr. Entertainment OWNS."
GHEORGHE: "Shane is one of New ERA’s brightest new stars … and he’s shown a lot of potential in his first few matches … and now he’ll get the chance to shine in the Television championship match."
JACOBS: "And his opponent.."
(CUEUP: "That’s Entertainment!" by the Jam. The crowd immediately begins to jeer as a lone spotlight lights up the stage. Mr. Entertainment slowly rises from beneath the rampway and the platform he stands on slowly begins to turn as the light shines down on him. He steps off and begins to make his way to the ring. The Television Championship belt glistens in the low lights.)
JIVE: "What an entrance! Mr. Entertainment sure knows how to woo the crowd!"
(SFX: Crowd continues to jeer hardcore!)
GHEORGHE: "And he’s doing a great job at it, too."
JACOBS: "He hails from Ashland, Oregon.. standing six foot two, 234 pounds … he is the CURRENT New ERA of Wrestling TELEVISION CHAMPION …………. MISTER ……. ENTERTAINMENT!!!!"
(Entertainment slides into the ring and climbs on the turnbuckle pad, holding the title high above his head.)
GHEORGHE: "Mr. Entertainment looks ready for action .. and the referee is now handing the Television championship to the ring attendant on the outside…"
(SFX: Bell rings.)
GHEORGHE: "And the Television Championship match is underway!"
JIVE: "Mr. Entertainment has had the Television Championship around his waist since July of last year, and I don’t think there’s any doubt that after tonight, he’ll still be champion."
GHEORGHE: "The two men are circling one another in the ring .. and while Entertainment has put down challenger after challenger for his championship, I think he might have finally met his match here tonight."
JIVE: "He’s the most entertaining man in the business today, Gheorghe.. he won’t let Steven Shane get within three feet of that title."
GHEORGHE: "Shane finally goes in for the collar and elbow tie up .. but Mr. Entertainment side steps him! Mr. Entertainment now wagging his finger in Shane’s face…. AND STEVEN SHANE WITH A RIGHT HOOK JUST FLOORED THE TELEVISION CHAMPION!"
JULIUS: "You can’t do that to Mr. Entertainment!"
JIVE: "I don’t even know why Steven Shane is in the ring right now! The only reason why he is getting this title shot is because he blew Marcus LaRoque …"
GHEORGHE: "Marcus LaRoque pulled his name out of the tumbler.."
JULIUS: "So .. Shane got the title shot pretty much the same way you got your job, Jive?"
GHEORGHE: "Mr. Entertainment gets back to his feet and he is holding his jaw. A shot like that could’ve caused a dislocation!"
JULIUS: "Mr. Entertainment’s jaw is in pristine condition. It gets a lot of exercise, so I doubt that Shane’s limp wrist could have done any damage."
GHEORGHE: "Steven Shane immediately grabs onto the arm of Mr. Entertainment and whips the Television champion across the ring into the ropes. Entertainment bounces back and Shane ducks his head …. sending Mr. Entertainment UP, UP AND OVER!"
JIVE: "Entertainment flew through the air .. and hit the mat hard."
GHEORGHE: "Steven Shane not slowing down a bit as he catches Entertainment getting back to his feet … Shane with the arm, and he twists it around and applies the hammerlock! The Television champion trying to reach back and grab onto any part of the challenger that he can, but Steven Shane doing a very good job at avoiding him."
JULIUS: "Shane getting off to a quick start, but like most of Mr. Entertainment’s opponents, he’s going to end up making one mistake that will cost him dearly. Mark my words."
GHEORGHE: "Shane now with the champion .. and he grabs onto his shoulder AND SENDS ENTERTAINMENT TO THE CORNER! Mr. Entertainment’s shoulder took the brunt of the blow from the top turnbuckle pad .. and Steven Shane not letting the champion get any breathing room as he’s right back on top of him! Steven Shane now climbing up straddling Entertainment .. AND HE STARTS WAILING AWAY WITH THE PUNCHES!"
CROWD: "FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!"
GHEORGHE: "The crowd counts along .. Shane hops off of him after the ten… and Mr. Entertainment takes about three steps out of the corner before he flops to the mat! Shane with the quick cover … ONE … TW—NO! The Television champion immediately brought his shoulder off the mat."
JIVE: "Shane is getting some breaks early on in this match. But as we just saw, Mr. Entertainment is far from done!"
GHEORGHE: "Shane grabs Entertainment by the head and yanks him to his feet.. locks the hands around the wais… NO! Mr. Entertainment with a thumb to the eye and that stops the challenger!"
JIVE: "Now the REAL match begins!"
GHEORGHE: "Entertainment takes a few steps back … MAN WHAT A SHOT! Mr. Entertainment with a tae kwon do kick that just sent Steven Shane to the mat .. and now Entertainment follows him down and cradles Shane’s head as he slams those fists into his face in rapid fire succession."
JULIUS: "People sometimes forget the entirety of Mr. Entertainment’s arsenal. He’s the complete package."
GHEORGHE: "Entertainment quickly back to his feet … and he drops the leg across the face of Shane! Mr. Entertainment with a very nonchalant cover …. and he only gets one and a half!"
JIVE: "Entertainment just toying with Steven Shane with that cover."
GHEORGHE: "Entertainment brings Steven Shane up .. and he places Shane’s head between his legs ….. DRIVING him to the mat with the piledriver! Mr. Entertainment looks to have control over this match now … and he drops another leg .. this time across the back of the neck of Shane."
JULIUS: "Mr. Entertainment will methodically break you down. He can be explosive, he can be methodical, he can be high flying, he can wrestle on the mat … he’s the best all-around guy on the roster .. and that’s why he’s Television champion right now."
GHEORGHE: "There’s no doubting his ability .. but there’s also no doubting Steven Shane’s either."
JIVE: "I doubt it."
JULIUS: "Me too."
GHEORGHE: "Well you guys aren’t exactly the best judge of character…"
JULIUS: "I resent that."
GHEORGHE: "Mr. Entertainment grabbing the legs of Steven Shane … and he’s trying to apply the Boston Crab! Entertainment drops one of Steven Shane’s legs … and he’s got the single crab on! Steven Shane grimacing in pain as Entertainment sits further back to apply as much pressure as possible…"
JIVE: "Listen to Mr. Entertainment .. he’s got Shane crying for mercy, and he’s badmouthing him to the very end!"
GHEORGHE: "Steven Shane is not crying for mercy! Shane .. Shane trying to inch his way to the ropes … and he’s almost there!"
JULIUS: "Shane’s still a few inches away … and he just got to the ropes."
GHEORGHE: "The referee forcing Mr. Entertainment to release the hold .. Entertainment does and now he goes against the far ropes .. Entertainment on the way back … baseball slide … BUT NOBODY’s HOME! Steven Shane used the ropes to pull himself to the side and Entertainment just slid all the way to the outside!"
JIVE: "He could’ve pulled a hamstring! Broke a knee!"
GHEORGHE: "Entertainment does look to be a little sensitive as he gets to his feet on the outside ….. AND HE DOESN’T SEE SHANE UNTIL ITS TOO LATE! Steven Shane grabbed onto the top rope and catapulted himself over the top onto the Television champion!"
JULIUS: "Shane taking things to the next level … he’s going to have to continue one-up Mr. Entertainment to walk out of here with the title."
JIVE: "Steven Shane’s going to have to pray for the earth to open up and swallow Entertainment whole to walk out of here with the title."
GHEORGHE: "Shane back to his feet on the outside .. and he takes the Television champion … AND SLAMS HIS HEAD INTO THE RING STEPS! AGAIN! AND A THIRD TIME! Mr. Entertainment tries to walk away …. BUT STEVEN SHANE WITH A BULLDOG RIGHT ONTO THE ARENA FLOOR!"
JIVE: "The fans are going crazy, Gheorghe … if anything this is going to motivate Mr. Entertainment even more. He’s the one whose supposed to be making the fans cherry’s pop!"
GHEORGHE: "The referee tells Steven Shane to bring the action back into the ring .. and Shane rolls the Television champion through the bottom ropes. Shane follows in after him and makes a quick cover … ONE …. TWO …. KICKOUT!"
JULIUS: "That’s the closest Shane’s gotten tonight .. but this match isn’t nearly over."
GHEORGHE: "Steven Shane with a pop to the face of Mr. Entertainment for good measure .. and now he brings the Television champion to his feet. Shane spins him around .. and grabs him … HUGE atomic drop and Mr. Entertainment is walking gingerly! Entertainment turns … and has his head nearly taken off by the challenger! Shane follows the clothesline up with another quick cover …. ONE … TWO—NO! Entertainment managed to get out before the referee could get to two."
JIVE: "Steven Shane is desperate … he knows that if he doesn’t finish this match within the next few seconds that his chance at becoming Television champion will fall to the wayside."
GHEORGHE: "I doubt that, Nick. Both these men are incredible athletes .. and I think its still too early to tell who will walk out victorious."
JIVE: "Points wise this match is all Mr. Entertainment."
GHEORGHE: "Have we been watching the same match?"
JULIUS: "Jive’s been watching the guy in the second row flex his muscles.."
GHEORGHE: "Ha, ha! No wonder!"
JIVE: "You’re lucky Gheorghe is in between us, Dean .. or els.."
GHEORGHE: "Mr. Entertainment trying to get back to his feet … and Steven Shane is right there with some closed fists to stop the Television champion. Shane grabs onto Entertainment .. and whips him into the corner … Shane follows in after him… BUT ENTERTAINMENT PUTS UP THE BOOTS AND SHANE GETS A FACE FULL OF THEM!"
JULIUS: "This is the perfect opportunity for Entertainment to take control of this match, but he looks to be taking a breather instead."
GHEORGHE: "Entertainment resting in the corner.. now he takes a few steps out .. and drives the elbow into the face of Steven Shane! Mr. Entertainment applying the headlock on the mat .. and the referee is down to make sure that it doesn’t turn into a choke."
JIVE: "Entertainment should choke him anyways. A disqualification is as good as a victory for the Television champion if you ask me."
GHEORGHE: "Even if he did retain the title that way, Nick, I doubt that Mr. Entertainment would want to give Steven Shane the satisfaction of getting the victory. Entertainment keeps the headlock on as he brings Shane to his feet … Entertainment now backs Shane into the corner .. and he release the headlock … AND CONNECTS WITH A BEAUTIFUL SPINNING HEEL KICK! Steven Shane shoots back onto the turnbuckle pads and almost flew over the top rope!"
JULIUS: "Mr. Entertainment got a lot of momentum behind the spinning heel kick… and now he’s going to the outside!"
GHEORGHE: "Mr. Entertainment just exited to the outside apron … AND HE’s CLIMBING THE TURNBUCKLE PADS BEHIND STEVEN SHANE!"
JIVE: "Shane is still in that corner .. but thanks to the headlock and the spinning heel kick, he doesn’t realize the Television champion is behind him!"
GHEORGHE: "Mr. Entertainment perched on the top rope .. Steven Shane standing in front of him …. AND MR. ENTERTAINMENT FLIES OFF ….. DIAMOND DUST! ENTERTAINMENT NAILS THE TOP ROPE SOMERSAULT DIAMOND CUTTER!"
JIVE: "MY GOD!"
GHEORGHE: "ENTERTAINMENT WITH THE COVER ….. ONE ……… TWO ……….. THREE!!!!!"
JULIUS: "NO!! SHANE KICKED OUT! SHANE KICKEDO UT!"
GHEORGHE: "The challenger somehow kicks out!"
JIVE: "He’s lived to die another day!"
GHEORGHE: "Both men are on the mat … AND MR. ENTERTAINMENT KIPS UP!"
JULIUS: "He smells blood, Gheorghe! He’s ready to put this thing away!"
GHEORGHE: "Mr. Entertainment grabs Steven Shane … AND DRIVES THE KNEE RIGHT INTO THE FACE! The Television champion now picks up Shane … AND TOSSES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE ARENA FLOOR!"
JIVE: "Steven Shane is learning first hand why Mr. Entertainment is the most electrifying superstar on the roster!"
GHEORGHE: "Entertainment slides out after him .. and HE PICKS UP THE TOP PART OF THE RING STEPS! Mr. Entertainment tosses them aside .. and now he has Shane … Mr. Entertainment hooks the arm …. AND HOISTS SHANE HIGH UP IN THE AIR!"
JULIUS: "He’s keeping him up there … the stalling vertical suplex is allowing all of Shane’s blood to rush to his head."
GHEORGHE: "Entertainment …. SUPLEXES STEVEN SHANE RIGHT ACROSS THE BOTTOM PART OF THE RING STEPS!! BY GOD!! He could have snapped him in half!"
JIVE: "If Steven Shane somehow manages to win the Television championship … he’ll be the first ever champion in a wheelchair!"
GHEORGHE: "Entertainment grabs Steven Shane and rolls him back into the ring … AND HE’s GOING UP TOP AGAIN!"
JULIUS: "The crowd is on their feet …. and they’re watching with baited breath to see what the Television champion is going to do!"
GHEORGHE: "Entertainment holds his arms up in the air.."
(SFX: CROWD POPS HUGE!)
GHEORGHE: "SHOOTING STAR PRESS!! Mr. Entertainment with the cover ….. ONE ………. TWO ………… THREE!! HE GOT HIM!"
JIVE: "NO! NO! NO! HOW DID SHANE KICK OUT?!"
GHEORGHE: "The challenger has taken a beating the past few minutes … and somehow he has managed to stay in this championship match!"
JULIUS: "But for how long, Gheorghe? There’s no way he can continue to take punishment like this."
GHEORGHE: "Mr. Entertainment is slowly getting to his feet .. and he has thrown everything thus far at Steven Shane, but has not been able to put this match away."
JIVE: "It’s just a matter of time at this point."
GHEORGHE: "Mr. Entertainment getting to his feet .. and he’s looking at Steven Shane lying in the center of the ring …. AND MR. ENTERTAINMENT IS HOLDING TWO FINGERS IN THE AIR …. HE’s GOING FOR ANTOHER SHOOTING STAR PRESS!"
JULIUS: "This is the end of Steven Shane as we know him!"
GHEORGHE: "The Television champion slowly climbing the ring ropes … AND HE’s UP THERE! Mr. Entertainment brings his thumb across his throat ……. AND HE FLIES OFF WITH A SECOND SHOOTING STAR PRESS!"
(SFX: CROWD ORGASMS~!~!)
JIVE: "NOOOOO!!! THAT BASTARD!!!"
GHEORGHE: "SHANE GOT THE KNEES UP!! STEVEN SHANE SOMEHOW KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING AND HE PUT THE KNEES UP!"
JULIUS: "And now the Television champion is on the mat ….. these two men have fought it out tooth and nail here on the three year anniversary show."
GHEORGHE: "Both men are lying on the mat .. and the referee is starting the ten count. It will be a real shame if the match ends this way."
JIVE: "Shame?! Mr. Entertainment will retain the title … It’ll be a godsend!"
GHEORGHE: "Neither man is moving … the referee checks on both again and continues to count."
JULIUS: "Mr. Entertainment wanted to defend the Television championship more often than it had been in the past .. and now he’s paying the price. If Steven Shane wins the championship here tonight, it will be a miracle to say the least. But that’s a BIG if."
GHEORGHE: "The referee is at five … six … SEVEN … I can’t believe it .. this match is going to end in a double count out."
JIVE: "Speed it up already! Get to ten!"
GHEORGHE: "What a performan.."
(SFX: CROWD POPS HUGE!)
GHEORGHE: "SHANE SITS UP! STEVEN SHANE HAS SAT UP!"
JIVE: "You’ve got to be shitting me!"
GHEORGHE: "The referee is at eight …. nine ……. AND SHANE IS ON HIS FEET! The referee unable to get to ten … and this match will continue!"
JIVE: "Tell these idiots here in Puerto Rico to shut the hell up! They’ve ruined a perfectly good match!"
GHEORGHE: "Steven Shane standing in the corner … and he is trying to gather himself together …"
JULIUS: "But Mr. Entertainment is stirring! The Television champion has sat up, too!"
JIVE: "Someone needs to check the water out back.."
GHEORGHE: "THE TELEVISION CHAMPION GROGGILY GETS TO HIS FEET …. AND HERE COMES STEVEN SHANE!"
JIVE: "Mr. Entertainment is bent over trying to catch his breath! This can’t be good …."
(SFX: CROWD CHEERS …)
GHEORGHE: "WAIT!! Shane charged in towards Mr. Entertainment … BUT ENTERTAINMENT GRABBED HIM MID STRIDE …. AND SENT HIM INTO THE CORNER … SNAKE EYES!!!"
(SFX: CROWD JEERS HARDCORE!)
JIVE: "I was right .. this wasn’t good .. IT’s GREAT!"
GHEORGHE: "SHANE COMES BACK ………………………. THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT!! THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT ……….. ONE ………………… TWO ………………….. THREE!!! MR. ENTERTAINMENT HAS RETAINED THE TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!"
(SFX: Bell rings. Crowd goes crazy.)
JACOBS: "Ladies and gentleman .. the winner of this match …. and STIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL NEW ERA OF WRESTLING TELEVISION CHAMPION …………………"
(CUEUP: ‘That’s Entertainment!’ by the Jam..)
JACOBS: "MISTER ……….. ENTERTAINMENT!"
JIVE: "Yes!! Yes!! I told you!"
GHEORGHE: "What a match!! Those two men … showing exactly why they are in one of tonight’s main events here at the three year anniversary RAUCOUS … WOW."
JIVE: "Those two men? This was all the Television champion, Gheorghe .. and don’t you dare try to say that it wasn’t!"
GHEORGHE: "BOTH men, Nick .. Steven Shane gave Mr. Entertainment a run for his money … and he damn well almost took that title away! What a match … we’ve got to take a commercial break … but when we come back .. it’s the CRÈME de le CRÈME battle royal … four of New ERA’s biggest stars will battle it out .. to see who will get their chance for a shot at the World Heavyweight championship!"
(CUTTO: Commercial for the upcoming EPW / NEW SuperCard.)
( continued... )