JACOBS: "The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, with a thirty minute time limit. The winner of this match will determine the loser’s entry number for BATTLEBRAWL! Introducing first…"
(CUEUP: ‘Headstrong’ by Trapt.)
JACOBS: "… being accompanied to the ring by Mercedes Devon, he is from Jacksonville, North Carolina. He weighs in at 267 pounds. He is ‘the Crippler’, CAMERON CRUISE!"
(Cruise makes his way through the curtain with Mercedes Devon in tow. Cruise looking focused as he heads towards the ring.)
GHEORGHE: "Cameron Cruise coming off a loss against Larry Tact in a spectacular strap match."
JIVE: "Larry Tact gave Cameron Cruise the beating of his life last week. And then went on to assault a woman!"
GHEORGHE: "What?! Juliet Marceau came out to distract Tact by wearing a Turk shirt, and then tried to get involved in the match!"
JIVE: "She’s the boss! She can do whatever she wants! We’re just all thankful that she wasn’t harmed in any way."
GHEORGHE: "I think I’m going to throw up. Cameron Cruise in the ring now as we await the arrival of his opponent."
JIVE: "You’re gay aren’t you?"
GHEORGHE: "I’m not even going to dignify that with a response!"
JIVE: "Then I guess you are then."
JACOBS: "And his opponent…"
(CUEUP: "Nobody Does It Better" by Carly Simon. Shawn Hart steps out from behind the curtain to good pop, posing for the crowd as he makes his way to the ring.)
JACOBS: "He weighs in at two hundred and twenty four pounds and stands five feet eleven inches… THE PHENOM… SHAWN HART!!"
GHEORGHE: "Clash of the similar styles as The Phenom takes on the Crippler here in this very important match up, which could have serious implications for BattleBRAWL."
JIVE: "Nice to see you were paying attention to Jacobs when he announced that ‘genius’."
GHEORGHE: "I was just reinforcing the point for our viewers."
JIVE: "And for yourself because obviously you’re in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s."
GHEORGHE: "My God you’re in a foul mood tonight."
JIVE: "Look Tom, all I care about is these two beating the living hell out of each other. Other than that, you and the viewers can kiss my ass."
GHEORGHE: "I’m sure they’ll remember that when your contract comes up for renewal Nick."
(SFX: Bell rings!)
GHEORGHE: "There’s the bell and this match is underway!"
JIVE: "Alright commence to murdering one another!"
GHEORGHE: "Collar and elbow tie up in the center of the ring. Hart backs Cruise into the corner and the ref is there making the count. He gets to four and a clean break by Shawn Hart there. Nice show of sportsmanship there, eh Nick?"
JIVE: "Don’t worry Tom. With these two egos in the ring, they’ll kill each other before the end of this match."
GHEORGHE: "You must be absolutely torn by not having someone to cheer for in this match."
JIVE: "Au contraire mon fraire. Whoever cripples who first is who I’m cheering for, since I can’t stand either of these wussies."
GHEORGHE: "Another collar and elbow tie up and Cruise into the side head lock."
JIVE: "WOAH!"
GHEORGHE: "Wow! Cruise flipping Hart into the snap mare takedown."
JIVE: "I almost missed that because I blinked!"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise with the headlock on Hart, wait a minute! Hart reverses into the head scissors. He’s clamping down on the Crippler’s head. Cruise trying to roll over and does so."
JIVE: "What’s Cruise looking to do here?"
GHEORGHE: "He hooks Hart’s legs! HE FLIPS OVER INTO A BRIDGE!! WE HAVE A COVER!"
ONE
TWO
GHEORGHE: "NO! Hart kicks out. Hart stumbling to his feet, Cruise right back to the side headlock."
JIVE: "Man Cruise could have punched his ticket to BattlebRAWL there."
GHEORGHE: "He sure could have Nick as Hart backs Cruise into the ropes, and shoots him off. Cruise rebounding from the other side. Cruise ducks a clothesline. Hart turns and Cruise coming for a clothesline of his own!"
JIVE: "Not so fast!"
GHEORGHE: "Backslide! Hart hooked the arm and quickly brought Cruise down. Ref in position!"
ONE
TWO
GHEORGHE: "Cruise with the kickout and this time it’s Hart with the side headlock."
JIVE: "If these guys would just hurry up, this match would be so much better!"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise muscles out of the headlock into a top wrist lock. Ducking behind Hart he has him in a hammerlock! Hart to the ropes, grabbing the ropes with his free hand and knocking Cruise back."
JIVE: "Good strategy there, NOW KILL HIM!"
GHEORGHE: "Did you not take your pills today? Cruise stumbles to his feet… HOLY TOLEDO! Massive clothesline from Hart sends Cruise to the canvas. Cruise back up and, hiptoss by Hart! And another hiptoss by Hart, and Cruise to the outside as Hart is a house of fire!!"
JIVE: "The crowd loves this, and so do I!"
GHEORGHE: "Mercedes trying to soothe her man as Hart tells Cameron to get back in the ring. Cruise up on the apron as the ref continues his count."
JIVE: "Cammy didn’t know what hit him!"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise back in the ring now as these two athletes circle each other. Collar and elbow… NO!"
JIVE: "Looks like Cruise didn’t like getting trumped by Hart!"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise with a kick to the mid-section, doubling Hart over and WHAM! Face first into the buckle goes Hart. Cruise grabbing hart and whipping him into the corner."
(SFX: CRASH! CROWD ‘OOOs’.)
GHEORGHE: "My GOD! Cruise whipping Shawn in with tremendous force! Cruise moving in quickly with a drop-toe hold. Shawn face first to the mat."
JIVE: "Kill him Cruise! Finish him!"
GHEORGHE: "Weren’t you just cheering for Shawn Hart?"
JIVE: "I can cheer for whoever I want. Especially since I really can’t stand either of these guys. This is a win-win situation for me!"
GHEORGHE: "Shawn pulling himself up to the second rope. Cruise coming off the opposite side. OH NO!"
(SFX: CROWD OOOs AGAIN)
JIVE: "Oh man that hurts just looking at that!"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise was going to catch Shawn’s neck over the rope with his leg, but Hart moved at the last second, and Cruise got all hung up on the rope. And now look at Hart, he’s back up and he’s kicking at Cruise’s injured leg!"
JIVE: "Like a shark to blood Tom, Shawn Hart is going to wear down Cruise’s leg till he can’t stand up!"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise clutching the leg in pain and Shawn WRENCHES that leg back. Cruise howling in pain and all Mercedes Devon can do is watch!"
JIVE: "That’s all she SHOULD do if she knows what’s good for her!"
GHEORGHE: "Hart stalking Cruise now, pulling him out to the middle of the ring. Around he goes… step over toe hold! Hart applying a LOT of pressure to the injured leg of Cameron Cruise! Cruise just screaming as the ref moves in."
CRUISE: "NO!"
GHEORGHE: "Ref asking Cruise if he wants to submit and Cruise emphatically denying to!"
JIVE: "Go ahead and tap, Cammy! You did it for Tact, do it for Hart!"
GHEORGHE: "I don’t think the Crippler is going to submit twice in a row, Nick."
JIVE: "Well there’s always a chance."
GHEORGHE: "Mercedes cheering on Cruise, as Cruise looks like he’s trying to push towards the ropes with his other leg!"
JIVE: "You don’t know what you’re talking about, Tom, she’s obviously cheering for Shawn Hart. The guy’s a winner and chicks dig winners!"
GHEORGHE: "Which is why the girls are just banging down your door right?"
JIVE: "Well… yeah… kind of."
GHEORGHE: "ANYWAY! Cruise manages to get to the ropes and Shawn Hart breaks the hold. Cruise in a world of hurt here, Nick. I don’t think he can stand."
JIVE: "Then he better give up. Make him give up and send him to the front of the BattleBRAWL order, Shawn!"
GHEORGHE: "Some days, I won’t know what to make of you, Nick."
JIVE: "Don’t worry, Tom, I think that about you ALL days, not just some."
GHEORGHE: "Cruise trying to pull himself up in the corner. Hart is there and grabs him by his ankles."
JIVE: "Don’t go there, Tom! This is a family show!"
GHEORGHE: "You sick freak. Hart yanks on Cruise’s legs and catapults him up and then down to the mat! Cruise is still holding that leg and Hart pulling on it like that probably didn’t do much good for it."
JIVE: "Oh ya think?"
GHEORGHE: "Hart pulling Cameron Cruise to the middle of the ring, setting him up for something here. OH GOD! OH GOD! FIGURE FOUR IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!"
JIVE: "Nowhere for Cammy to go now! Match is over!"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise in a serious amount of pain here as Hart clenches down on the already injured leg! Mercedes at ringside is just screaming for Cameron to not give up."
JIVE: "DON’T LISTEN TO HER, CAM! GIVE UP! TAKE THE CRAPPY NUMBER!"
GHEORGHE: "Ref moving in to check Cruise to see if he wants to tap, and he emphatically screams no. He’s still fighting there, Nick!"
JIVE: "A few more seconds and he’ll cave!"
GHEORGHE: "Hart has that figure-four leglock locked in and it’s not looking good for Cruise here. Cruise falls down, shoulders on the mat."
ONE
TWO
GHEORGHE: "CRUISE GETS THE SHOULDER UP JUST IN TIME! That was a close one, Nick!"
JIVE: "SLOW COUNT! SLOW COUNT!"
GHEORGHE: "Nothing wrong with that count as Cruise is reaching down deep trying to hold off the pain, but it’s evident that he is suffering in that leglock right now! Wait a minute…"
(SFX: CROWD BEGINS TO CHEER)
GHEORGHE: "Crowd coming alive as Cruise looks like he is going to try and turn Hart over. That would shift the pressure off Cruise and on to Hart, but one has to wonder if Cruise has anything left in him. His leg has taken a lot of abuse in this match."
JIVE: "He won’t do it, Tom. He’s out of gas."
CRUISE: "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise screaming as he has Hart on his side! If he can just rotate over a little more and he’ll have reversed it!"
JIVE: "HANG ON, SHAWN! HANG ON!"
(SFX: CROWD POPS)
GHEORGHE: "HE DID IT! HE HAS SHAWN HART OVER AND NOW HART IS THE ONE SCREAMING IN PAIN!"
JIVE: "GOD DAMN IT!"
GHEORGHE: "NICK!"
JIVE: "Well, Hart should have made him tap!"
GHEORGHE: "He tried to, Nick, that’s for sure, but now Hart is screaming as Cruise reversed the figure-four! Hart near the ropes though and gets a hand on them. Cruise having to release the hold, but maybe he bought himself a few moments!"
JIVE: "Dear God I hope not! I was hoping this would be over by now!"
GHEORGHE: "Have a hot date tonight?"
JIVE: "Wouldn’t YOU like to know!"
GHEORGHE: "No… not really. Hart up and he kicks Cruise’s injured leg. Cameron wincing in pain as Hart grabs his leg and drapes it over the bottom rope."
JIVE: "Oh this is gonna hurt!"
GHEORGHE: "Hart up…. and DOWN on the injured leg. Cruise clutching at his leg as Hart stands on the bottom rope again, his foot across Cruise’s ankle."
JIVE: "Do it, Shawn!"
GHEORGHE: "Up and down again on the leg! Cruise just moaning in agony as Hart places his leg on the bottom rope. What’s he looking to do here? Oh no! He’s running the ropes!"
JIVE: "THIS IS IT!"
(SFX: CROWD GASPS AND SCREAMS)
JIVE: "HOLY TOLEDO!!"
GHEORGHE: "At the last second, Cruise pulled the leg away, and Hart went flying between the ropes and to the outside."
JIVE: "WOW! I can’t believe what I just saw!"
GHEORGHE: "Hart trying to get back in the ring as Cruise pulls himself up in the corner. He is favoring that leg really bad as Hart moves in. Cruise kicks out at Hart’s mid-section with his bad leg. Hart catches him!"
JIVE: "Bad move, Cammy!"
GHEORGHE: "What’s gonna happen? ENZIGURI!!! Cruise used his good leg to spring up and he clipped Shawn in the back of the head! Both men down to the canvas! This could be the turning point of the match, Nick!"
JIVE: "I hope not, Tom! Hart has Cruise beat if he can get back to his feet!"
GHEORGHE: "Both men stirring as the ref counting… he’s at five. Both men back to their feet. Cruise placing most of his weight on his uninjured leg. Hart comes in with a right fist!"
JIVE: "I think Cruise lost a tooth, Tom!"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise fires right back with one of his own! Hart reels, but fires back with another fist! Cruise stumbles on his good leg, but he comes back as well! These two just slugging it out!"
JIVE: "Someone knock someone out!"
GHEORGHE: "Hart with the right… NO! Cruise blocks and connects with a right! And another, and another! Cruise a house of fire as he forces Hart back into the ropes! Cruise with the Irish whip into the ropes! Cruise ducks for the back body drop… OH! Hart had that scouted and caught Cruise with a kick to the chest! Cruise stumbling back."
JIVE: "I’m telling you, Cruise ain’t got nothing on Hart tonight!"
GHEORGHE: "Hart off the ropes… Cruise sidesteps him! Hart from the other side and Cruise goes for the clothesline… NO! Float over by Hart…"
(SFX: CROWD POPS)
GHEORGHE: "HART GOING FOR THE FUJIWARA ARMBAR! He’s trying to force Cruise down to the mat! If he hooks this in it’s all over!!!"
JIVE: "Get him down, Shawn! GET HIM DOWN!"
GHEORGHE: "Cruise is fighting it! He’s trying to block it, but I don’t think he can do it with one bad wheel!!! He’s putting up a helluva fight though! You can tell that Cruise wants to win this one bad!"
JIVE: "There’s no shame in tapping, Cruise! You already did it once!"
GHEORGHE: "Looks like Hart almost has him down… WAIT!!"
(SFX: CROWD POPS HUGE)
GHEORGHE: "I DON’T BELIEVE IT! CRUISE KICKED OUT THE RIGHT LEG OF HART! HART TO THE CANVAS AS CRUISE SPINS FREE!"
JIVE: "NO NO NO!!"
GHEORGHE: "CRUISE HOOKING THE LEGS, I THINK….. YES!!!!!! CRUISE CONTROL! CRUISE CONTROL! CAMERON CRUISE HAS THE STF LOCKED ON IN THE CENTER OF THE RING. HART SCREAMING IN PAIN! THE REF THERE!"
JIVE: "THIS CAN’T BE! I’M NOT SEEING THIS!"
GHEORGHE: "CRUISE STRETCHING HART AS HARD AS HE CAN!"
(SFX: Bell rings!)
GHEORGHE: "HART TAPPED! HART TAPPED OUT TO CRUISE CONTROL!"
JIVE: "I DON’T BELIEVE IT, TOM!! AFTER THE BEATING CRUISE TOOK HE WAS ABLE TO PULL OFF THE VICTORY!"
GHEORGHE: "AND YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? HE CHOOSES SHAWN HART’S ENTRY INTO THE BATTLEBRAWL!"
JACOBS: "The winner of this match, CAMERON CRUISE!"
