(FADEIN: Tom Gheorghe and Nick Jive as they sit at ringside. Jive is sweating a little and keeps on wiping his forehead with a handtowel.)
JIVE: "Man, you’d think for a $35k a year school they’d offer some air conditioning in this place."
GHEORGHE: "It’s cozy in here, Nick, I don’t know why you’re sweating up a storm."
JIVE: "But can you believe that SUICIDE has made his entrance into New ERA?!"
GHEORGHE: "If you missed it, the fans here at the Goucher College Sports Centre were not very appreciative of the effort put in by Chris McMillan and Nick Savage and were chanting BORING .... and when Nick Savage got onto the microphone to try to fire back, the lights went out and SUICIDE came down to the ring!"
JIVE: "I am still in shock, Tom.."
GHEORGHE: "He challenged McMillan and Savage to a handicap match, but both men declined due to his 'propensity' to injure opponents .. and Suicide refuted that claim here tonight in the ring and challenged two wrestlers for matches next edition of RAUCOUS!"
JIVE: "Should be interesting!!"
GHEORGHE: "And now Nick Jive is leaking barrels of sweat here next to me ... its like we're in the Chesapeake Bay.."
JIVE: "It’s much too hot in here …. And that smell…"
GHEORGHE: "We are on a college campus …"
JIVE: "But it’s not 4:20 …"
GHEORGHE: "Apparently it doesn’t have to be. Ladies and gentlemen our next match is a special preview event between two of the four wrestlers who will be in the Fatal Fourway Battle Royal which will take place next RAUCOUS. ‘Gentleman’ Jonathan Marx is in action here tonight against El Arco Iris."
JIVE: "Marx is a lucky, lucky man. He’s had the best possible partner, Peter File, throughout the tag team rounds of Battle Bowl Mania … but he’s on his own here tonight against Iris."
GHEORGHE: "Marx and File were definitely a weird pairing.. Peter File with some questionable antics, whereas Marx considers himself a ‘Gentleman’."
JIVE: "File doesn’t have questionable antics! He’s a fine technical wrestler who manages to use mind psychology to wreak havoc on his opponent."
GHEORGHE: "I don’t disagree about the mind psychology. Peter File is very effective in getting the match to be on his terms. He’ll be in action later tonight against Larry Tact, who was Iris’ partner throughout the tag team rounds."
JIVE: "Iris is some kind of messed up if you ask me."
GHEORGHE: "Why do you say that?"
JIVE: "He’s too happy. All the time. I think its about time that he takes a drug test."
GHEORGHE: "Well, let’s go over to Carl Jacobs for the introductions to this match.. And, Iris is a very well balanced man, I don’t think he needs a drug test."
JIVE: "I’m just saying. I heard ecstasy makes you happy all the time."
(CUTTO: The ring as the big screen flashes the lineup.)
GHEORGHE: "Looks like we are getting right into this match."
JIVE: "Yeah, and it’s going to end just as quick. Marx is going to destroy Iris. Just as quick as it’s starting."
GHEORGHE: "Why do you put your two cents into everything that happens here? Just be quiet for a little while."
JIVE: "That’s what I’m here for man! To annoy you and to talk about the match."
GHEORGHE: "And here we go … Jonathan Marx against El Arco Iris in a special preview event here on RAUCOUS!"
JACOBS: "The following match up has a time limit of 30 minutes and is a special preview for next week’s RAUCOUS main event!"
(CUEUP: "Only Happy When It Rains" by Garbage. Jonathan Marx walks down the ramp at a steady pace the crowd cheers him on.)
JACOBS: "Coming down to the ring …. Standing 6’2 and weighing in at 210 pounds …… he hails from Princeton, New Jersey ….. ‘GENTLEMAN’ JONATHAN MARX!"
JIVE: "I was talking to Marx in the locker room and he was almost pretty cool."
GHEORGHE: "What? Something nice to say?"
(Marx jumps onto the ring then hops over the top rope. Marx begins to warm up for the match.)
JIVE: "I’m just saying … Marx wasn’t as ridiculously stupid as some of the other people that I’ve talked to in the back."
JACOBS: "And his opponent…"
(CUE UP: 'Tunak Tunak Tun' by Daler Mehndi.)
JACOBS: "Standing 5’6" and weighing in at 190 pounds …."
(Stage lights flash all sorts of colors as El Arco Iris comes dancing out to the ring, being bouncy, energetic, friendly, slapping hands and hugging as many fans as he can. Iris’s music fades as he remains on the outside of the ring.)
GHEORGHE: "Iris being cautious and staying outside the ring, as Marx is looking at him."
JACOBS: "From the Other Side of the Rainbow …… EL ARCO IRIS!"
(Iris grabs the bottom rope, Marx stomps on the ring scaring Iris away. Finally Iris slides in the ring.)
JIVE: "Marx using a little tactic to intimidate Iris .. told you he was a great guy."
GHEORGHE: "Marx circling with Iris. Marx with a small smile coming across his face as they tie up. Marx with the duck under and is now behind Iris."
(SFX: Bell rings)
GHEORGHE: "Marx locks his hands and German Suplexs Iris.. Now Marx pulls up Iris to his feet and HITS ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX!!! This time he releases Iris into the air and his heads hits the mat! El Arco Iris is slow to get up."
JIVE: "Man, Iris’ head bounced off that ring like a basketball. Did you see that?"
GHEORGHE: "Yeah, I saw it, I’m sitting right here. Marx going for a clothesline and Iris ducking, Iris rebounds off the ropes, and a harsh shoulder block to the chest of Jonathan Marx from El Arco Iris!"
JIVE: "What the hell kind of name is that anyway?"
GHEORGHE: "Marx now gets up as Iris charges for a clothesline … but Marx ducks under Iris’ arm and turns him around ….. SPINEBUSTER!!!"
JIVE: "What a maneuver!"
GHEORGHE: "Iris caught in a thunderous spine buster by Jonathan Marx! Marx with the cover ONE ….. TWO …. THR-- KICKOUT by Iris! Marx pulling Iris to the center of the ring. Marx tying up Iris legs … and he has just locked on the Figure-Four Leg Lock!! Iris is dead center in the ring with no where to go!!!"
JIVE: "GIVE UP IRIS! Since he won’t be going anywhere, let me tell you about my week it was very nice in fact I..."
GHEORGHE: "SHUT UP NICK!!!!"
JIVE: "I’m just saying.."
GHEORGHE: "Marx applying more pressure on the legs of Iris as the ref goes over to Iris asking him if he wants to give up …. but Iris shakes his head no. Iris using all his strength AND HE FLIPS THE MOVE OVER!!! NOW MARX IS FEELING THE PAIN!"
GHEORGHE: "IRIS HAS REVERSED THE HOLD! Marx letting go of the Figure-Four and slow to stand up! Now Iris is trying to get up, but his legs look real weak. Marx punches Iris in the face and hits a hard knife edge chop."
JIVE: "And now Marx with another chop!"
JIVE: "WOOO! Ha, that’s fun to do. Try it Tom!"
GHEORGHE: "Iris against the ropes. And Marx sending him to the other side … Iris on his way back …. A TREMENDOUS MISSILE DROPKICK FROM IRIS!"
JIVE: "I can do that. It’s not that hard. I bet I could do it better than him. Right? I might as well wrestle for New ERA."
GHEORGHE: "So you can get you ass kicked in? Iris with the cover ONE …. TWO ….. NOOOO … Marx getting the rope break. Both men are slowly getting up …"
JIVE: "WATCH OUT."
GHEORGHE: "Iris leaps in the air and catches Marx with a Hurricanrana as he turns around!! IRIS WITH THE ROLLOVER PIN …. ONE ……. TWO ……. THREE!!"
JIVE: "NOOO … Marx barely got out at the last minute! Thank God! I don’t want that idiot getting momentum into the title crowning RAUCOUS!"
GHEORGHE: "Iris now going to a corner and signaling for Marx to get up, Marx up slow. Marx turns towards Iris!"
JIVE: "What is Iris doing???"
GHEORGHE: "HAPPY DANCE!! NOOOO … Marx catching Iris’ foot!! MARX BRINGS IRIS DOWN WITH A FRONT FACE SLAM!"
JIVE: "HOT DAMN. I almost thought Iris was going to pull it off there!"
GHEORGHE: "Jonathan Marx now getting up .. no … he covers Iris …. ONE …… TWO … but Iris kicks out at the last moment."
JIVE: "Damn, thought he had him. Don’t get me wrong, I could care less about Iris and to a lesser extent, Marx … because they’re both going to be tossed out of the ring next edition of RAUCOUS by Peter File, but I don’t want El Arco Iris to feel any more happy than he already is .. the freak."
GHEORGHE: "That’s not a nice thing to say … both of these guys are incredible wrestlers.. Marx now waiting for El Arco Iris to get up .. Iris is on his knees catching his breath.. Marx walks over to pick him up …. SMALL PACKAGE BY IRIS!!!! ONE …… TWO—KICKOUT!"
JIVE: "Jesus, will someone put that guy out of my misery?"
GHEORGHE: "Iris knicks up to his feet … Marx gets up slower … Iris against the ropes … AND HITS A FLYING CROSS BODY BLOCK!!! ONE ….. TWO ….. KICKOUT!"
JIVE: "Marx is just going to let Iris wear himself out … I mean, he can’t continue doing this, right?"
GHEORGHE: "Iris is looking pretty good right now if you ask me…"
JIVE: "That knee took a beating in the figure four .. Marx needs to re-evaluate the situation and go after that knee."
GHEORGHE: "Iris picks up Marx and hooks his head … SWINGING NECKBREAKER … Now Iris is picking up Marx’s head …. AND HE PUTS MARX IN A FRONT FACE LOCK SUBMISSION! Marx looks to be in a lot of pain, Nick."
JIVE: "Just wait …"
GHEORGHE: "Iris wrenching on the neck of Marx …. Marx slowly working his hands in the way. Jonathan Marx is now trying to force the hold open … AND MARX BREAKS THE HOLD!"
JIVE: "Told you. Iris is a stick."
GHEORGHE: "Marx manages to break the hold as Iris gets up. He … OFFERS JONATHAN MARX A HAND IN GETTING UP.."
JIVE: "Not only is he on drugs, but apparently he thinks that helping Marx will be good …"
GHEORGHE: "Iris is a good soul."
JIVE: "Don’t start talking like him, Tom, or I’ll be forced to go ape shit on you."
GHEORGHE: "Marx slaps Iris’ hand away and starts getting up. El Arco Iris looks hurt that Marx didn’t take his hand! IRIS HOOKS MARX’S ARM … AND HIPTOSSES HIM TO THE OUTSIDE!!!"
JIVE: "That’s it disqualify him!"
GHEORGHE: "This isn’t the old WCW, Nick."
JIVE: "Well it should be!"
GHEORGHE: "El Arco Iris grabs the top rope …. AND CATAPULTS HIMSELF OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO MARX ON THE ARENA FLOOR!!"
(SFX: Crowd pops)
GHEORGHE: "And the crowd here at the Goucher College Sports Centre are loving El Arco Iris."
JIVE: "Probably because they’re high."
GHEORGHE: "You’ve really got something in for Iris.."
JIVE: "I don’t support idiots. Someone who is always happy go lucky .. and comes to the ring surrounded by rainbows and birds chirping is someone who annoys me to no end, Tom."
GHEORGHE: "El Arco Iris slapping some hands and gives one fan a hug!"
JIVE: "One of the fans just told him to finish it off … and Iris gave him the thumbs up … I hope that isn’t going to happen!"
GHEORGHE: "Iris rolls Marx into the ring …. And he follows him .. Iris picking up Marx …. IRISH WHIPS HIM INTO THE ROPES .. IRIS OFF THE OTHER SIDE …. FLYING FOREARM…"
JIVE: "MARX DUCKED!"
GHEORGHE: "MARX DUCKS AND GOES OFF THE OPPOSITE ROPES!!"
GHEORGHE: "IRIS SETTING UP FOR THE HAPPY DANCE …….. MARX COMES BACK … HAPPY DANCE!"
JIVE: "Marx caught him!"
GHEORGHE: "MARX CATCHING THE LEG OF IRIS AGAIN!! TWISTS HIM AROUND AND BRINGS HIM DOWN TO THE MAT!!"
JIVE: "Looks like you won’t be finishing him off, punk!"
GHEORGHE: "MARXISM!!! Jonathan Marx locks on that STF!"
GHEORGHE: "Jonathan Marx has it locked on perfectly and Iris is reaching …"
JIVE: "There is no way that Iris will get to the ropes!"
GHEORGHE: "Iris is struggling as much as he can … BUT HE CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE …. IRIS HAS JUST SUBMITTED!"
(SFX: Bell Rings)
JIVE: "Good. I almost feel vindicated."
(CUE UP: "Only Happy When It Rains" by Garbage as Marx lets go of the hold and get his arm raised by the ref.)
JACOBS: "The winner of the match via submission ….. ‘GENTLEMAN’ ….. JONATHAN MARX!"
(CUTTO: The announce table with Jive and Gheorghe sitting there.)
JIVE: "So, what match is next.."
GHEORGHE: "Up next folks, the Television Championship Tournament continues with a semi-finals match as John Doe will take on ‘Rage-O-Fire’ Jared Wells."
JIVE: "Wells is going to get killed by Doe! He doesn’t have a chance... Doe has been on a roll … and Wells is going to be EMBARRASSED here tonight in front of a hometown crowd!"
GHEORGHE: "Yeah sure, Nick … fans .. we will be right back after this commercial break so stay tuned!"