[ Freedom Hall ] Louisville, Kentucky



PRESENTS ....

TAPED: Nov. 30, 2009
AIRED: Dec. 10, 2009
EPISODE: Almost Live 03

(The camera fades into the jam packed Freedom Hall in Louisville, Kentucky! Banners hanging from the rafters tout the Open Invitational Battle Royal while the fans hold signs of their own. The camera dizzily cuts through the crowd before coming to focus on the big screens as it illuminates with the logo for WFW:NE Almost Live!)

(The camera cuts to the announce team as the music fades out. Brandon Jacobs, Jonathan Marx and "NOT" Vic Waters sit behind the table finishing up the pre-show conversation.)

JACOBS:  "Welcome everyone to Almost Live in Freedom Hall in Louisville, Kentucky!"

MARX:  "Let the Ghoulish Games begin! The calendar may say November, but there will be many tricks and treats tonight."

"NOT" WATERS:  "Why are we holding Ghoulish Games in November?"

MARX:  "One of the saddest things about growing up into an adult is that when you get older, celebrating Halloween falls by the wayside. You may take your kids out trick or treating. You can decorate the house and give out candy... But that old magic that night had is never the same... Ghoulish Games is a celebration of the child in all of us, young and old and if only for one night, we are going to turn back the hands of time and the spirit of Halloween will live on."

JACOBS:  "I used to go around dressed up like a pirate every year."

"NOT" WATERS:  "For some reason, I loved to dress up like classic villains, Darth Vader, Megatron, Skelator.. god bless the eighties."

JACOBS:  "Tonight we have an open invitational battle royal where the participants have been masquerading in all sort of different costumes and tonight, they are going to battle it out for a chance at Shawn Hart in a Winter Wonderland match for the New ERA World Heavyweight championship."

MARX:  "There has never been such a collection of oddities in one place. We have Chinese Giants, drug addicts, foul mouth hooligans, wrestlers who are back from the dead after being retired for over a decade... there is absolutely no way to gauge who is going to win this match."

"NOT" WATERS:  "Could you imagine a Chinese Giant chasing after Shawn Hart in the falls count anywhere match outside in snowy Nebraska? He is the abominable snowman come to life."

MARX:  "He is certainly is the biggest man in the battle royal, but you have to figure he is going to have a bulls eye on his chest the moment he enters the ring and once he is gone, it could be anyone."

JACOBS:  "I haven't called a good old fashioned battle royal in a long, long time and all of these guys are going to be at each other's throats for a chance to get into the unification match and face the WFW World Heavyweight champion which leads up into our main event, Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal."

MARX:  "This is a match that we never got around to doing do in the old WFW and by far, it is one of my favorite gimmick matches of all-time. Eight options are placed on the wheel, four chosen by the champion Felix Red, four by the challenger Psycho... then the wheel is spun and whatever match it lands is the stipulation for the main event and the wheel be spun immediately after the battle royal tonight."

"NOT" WATERS:  "Felix Red and Psycho are two of the sickest men on the planet. Here are the options on the wheel, the first option is a Dr. Strangelove's House of Fun match where we won't even know what it is until Felix's envelope describing it is opened, the second option may be the tamest of all of them but under any other circumstance, could be the scene of a war... an enclosed steel cage match where neither man can get out..."

MARX:  "That is the same kind of match Doc Silver and Psycho had at Rage in the Cage that took a lot out of Doc."

"NOT" WATERS:  "Believe me, I remember... our third and fourth options could produce more blood than a Friday the 13th movie, the third option is a barbed wire cage and the fourth is a barbed wire rope match..."

MARX:  "Jesus."

"NOT" WATERS:  "Our five and six matches are both high impact matches, both of which have never been done before, the first one is a Scaffold Match of 100 tables where both men will battle high over the ring and the winner of the match is the one who pushes the other one off, and the sixth is a 200 Light Tube Match where Felix Red and Psycho can use all the light tubes they want on each other to their hearts content..."

MARX:  "Big Japan eat your heart out..."

"NOT" WATERS:  "And last but not least, our last two matches were made popular in Japan, our first one is an exploding cage match where there are explosives hooked up to each side of the cage and if you throw your opponent into the cage, the explosions will go... and then if there isn't a pinfall within twenty minutes, the two minute warning sirens will begin to sound and then the explosions set up around ringside around the cage will go off..."

JACOBS:  "Hopefully they will let us move a bit further back from ringside if it lands on that option. Maybe we can do the commentary standing up in the crowd."

"NOT" WATERS:  "I would hate to do it surrounded by all those plebeians, but I don't want to be anywhere near those explosions. And that is not all.. we have one more match, a Fire Death match where the ropes, which will be covered by towels, soaked in some lighter fluid, and lit on fire with both men, trying to fight the heat of the flames and the flames themselves while trying to pin the other before the time limit."

MARX:  "Nothing like a little bit of good old fashion carnage."

"NOT" WATERS:  "These two may set new standards for even the old WFW and that is covering a lot of ground considering we burned down a bar."

MARX:  "Good times!"

JACOBS:  "Folks, it is time for the battle royal for the shot at Shawn Hart's New ERA World Heavyweight championship in a Winter Wonderland match!"

"NOT" WATERS:  "Who will win?"

JACOBS:  "WAIT, WE ARE BEING TOLD THAT DURING THE BREAK A FIGHT BROKE OUT BACKSTAGE THAT ONE OF OUR CAMERA MEN PICKED UP, LET’S GO TO THE FOOTAGE!"


Backstage Brawl

(The cameraman is changing the batteries in his camera and it is left on, Golem sits near the door, talking to another heel off camera. Golem doesn't appear to notice the camera.)

GOLEM:  "....Yeah, Psycho stole a victory from me and he might get the shot at Felix Red this card. But this business is a funny thing. When you're as smart as Golem, you find little ways to win, even when everyone thinks you lost. Want to know what I'm talking about?"

(Golem leans forward and pulls a water bottle out of his bag.)

GOLEM:  "Did you see RAUCOUS? Did you see Minion? Cameron Cruise could've killed the poor guy."

(Golem leans back and starts laughing hysterically.)

GOLEM:  "Everyone thinks they are in control, but most are just creatures of habit. They don't think about their actions. They just meander through their stupid little routines like mice conditioned to run the same maze to the cheese every night."

(Golem screws the top off the water bottle and lifts it up to his nose to smell it. He smiles.)

GOLEM:  "You know what this smells like? It smells like nothing. Like water. Cold, refreshing water. The kind of water a person who feels obligated to take happy pills every day would use to wash down their mind-altering medicine. The kind of water that such a person would leave out by his things when he goes to the shower. The kind of water that he wouldn't worry about protecting when he's taking his precious pills with him everywhere."

(Golem screws the top back on. In the background, Minion walks by.)

GOLEM:  "But clear looks and no odors don't always tell the whole story. I took Minion's water...."

(Minion stops when he hears his name and turns back. Golem is unaware of his presence.)

GOLEM:  "I gave him some... tweaked water. Water that, maybe, when combined with his pills, didn't leave him quite all there."

(Minion is getting angrier and starts approaching Golem from behind.)

GOLEM:  "And Cameron Cruise did my dirty work for me! These idiots just dance for my entertainment! Maybe that piss-ant Minion will realize that hiding his darkness will just shorten his career, either at me hands or someone else's. Maybe he'll realize that if you match wits with Golem, you get hurt."

(Golem leans back in another hearty laugh. As he does, he bumps into Minion, who is now right behind him. Golem turns around and sees Minion. He looks like he is about to say something when Minion throws Golem's head into Golem's locker. A slight beatdown ensues before officials pull Minion away. CUTTO: Ringside.)

JACOBS:  "Folks, we need to get this melee under control and get paramedics back there to check everyone out. We are going to take a short commercial break and be back after this!"


COMMERCIAL BREAK

JACOBS:  "Now that things are finally back under control, were are back with our Masquerade Battle Royal."

WATERS:  "This is quite a group of misfits."

JACOBS:  "There are eight men in total in the over the top battle royal competing for a chance at the New ERA World Heavyweight Championship and we would have had more but some people were quite hesitant when they found out the 6'7, 462 pound giant, Jin Gang Xiao, was entering."

MARX:  "His size makes him the biggest man in all of wrestling right now."

JACOBS:  "The other seven men who will be trying desperately to get him out are Rockostein (Rocko Daymon), "Black Lantern" Striker, The Man of Tomorrow HAL, "Black Chuck Taylors" Aran Dishon, The Marxist Problem Child, "Old Saint Nick" Jeff Jorgenson, and JASON Payne.

MARX:  "The Marxist Problem Child? My trademarks are being violated!"

WATERS:  "Problem Child has mocked everyone else; What, did you think you would be excluded?"

MARX:  "I think he mentioned CSWA more than everyone did total in the original WFW."

JACOBS:  "Speaking of the nineties, tonight we have a flash from the past in Striker who made his name in the early to mid-ninties in NGEN and was part of the board of elders in the old WFW."

MARX:  "Striker was a gifted aerialist and despite being smaller than most performers back then. now he is considerably larger than most, he had this great short runs where he would put together a string of wins and then win the World Heavyweight championship almost every time without fail. Unfortunately his curse was, while he always won the championship, he would always lose it in his first defense. I've never seen anything like it before or since."

WATERS:  "It was almost like it was a curse, but how many guys can even say they won a world championship?"

MARX:  "Also in his defense, back then, it was a much more grueling schedule than it is today. There would be cards every day or two and you couldn't take nights off or you would get burned. He was a Hall of Famer in my book."

JACOBS:  "On the opposite side of the spectrum, we have someone who is billing himself tonight as a Man of Tomorrow in HAL."

MARX:  "Geek is chic right now; one of the hottest shows on TV right now is the Big Bang Theory and one of the most popular characters on daytime television Damian Spinelli who plays the role of a hacker. HAL isn't playing a character though, Harold is being who he naturally is and he has the size to take it to anyone in the battle royal including JXG."

WATERS:  "On the opposite end though, the lack of size can work to your advantage as well if you use your quickness to your advantage and pick your shots here and there. HAL got past Jeff Jorgenson, but you know Jorgenson will do everything he can tonight to get revenge for his loss."

MARX:  "Speed is important in battle royal. But so is experience and two of the most experierenced guys in the battle royale are former New ERA World Heavyweight Champion Rocko Daymon and the former P©X champion JASON Payne who is currently in the mix battling for a chance to hold tag team gold."

JACOBS:  "Daymon has a lot of determination and I echo the sentiment of many of what the wrestlers have said that he is one of the favorites, you just know he'd love a second crack at the New ERA World Heavyweight Championship so he can represent every New ERA World Heavyweight champion ever against the WFW World Heavyweight champ in front of the whole world."

WATERS:  "We forgot even to mention Black Chuck Taylor Aran Dishon who is making his debut tonight..."

MARX:  "I don't know much about him, but a good showing tonight in his debut would go far with the upper management."

JACOBS:  "Folks, the time for talking is done, let’s send this one down to ringside and get this underway!

(The camera cuts to the ring as a "ghost" brings the lineup on screen.)


Winner Receives New ERA World Heavyweight Championship Shot
Masquerade Ball Battle Royal

LINKS:  "The following contest is an eight man OVER THE TOP battle royal for a shot at the NEW ERA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP in the Winter Wonderland match at Unplugged… OMAHA! The first contestant..."

(A messenger runs down to ringside and there is a prolonged conference in the ring, the wrestlers and Abigail Sharp all come down to the ring in their costume as the conference goes on..)

LINKS:  "We've just been handed this message from the ownership from Japan, the man who eliminates Rocko Daymon from the Battle Royal will win $50,000!"

(An irate Rocko Daymon runs over to the announcers and starts getting into a heated discussion with the announcer who tells him it is out of his hands.. another messenger runs down ring with yet another message..)

LINKS:  "We've just been informed that an additional man has been added to..."

(CUEUP:  "The Pirates of the Caribbean Theme."  Jared Wells comes out to a huge pop dressed as Jack Sparrow and staggering into the ring. He slaps Abigail Sharp in her cowgirl outfit on the ass on the way in and she pitches a hissy fit.  SFX: Bell rings.)

JACOBS:  "Wells has been added to the battle royal, this is a game changer!"

MARX:  "Can I switch my prediction to Wells?"

JACOBS:  "WAIT A SECOND, ABIGAIL SHARP JUMPS ONTO THE APRON AND SHE STARTS YELLING AT WELLS! Wells goes over and gets in her face..... HAL CHARGES WELLS AND HE DROPKICKS WELLS IN THE BACK AND WELLS IS DROP KICKED OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ONTO ABIGAIL!"

LINKS:  "JARED WELLS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

MARX:  "Can I change my prediction back?"

JACOBS:  "WELLS LOOKS FORWARD STUNNED AT WHAT HAPPENED AND HE CLIMBS UP ON THE APRON! He is staring a whole right into the eyes of HAL and HAL isn't backing down."

MARX:  "Security is coming down to make sure this down escalate into something bigger."

JACOBS:  "Wells looks back and he sees the security coming out and he decides to head to the back and the paramedics are coming out to help her to the back."

WATERS:  "From the look in his eyes, this one isn't over."

JACOBS:  "HAL turns around and THERE IS JXG RIGHT IN HIS FACE! He doesn't look pleased at all about what he did to Abigail. JXG PUTS THE BIG HANDS AROUND THE THROAT OF HAL AND BEGINS TO CHOKE HIM, SHOVING HIM DOWN ON HIS KNEES!"

MARX:  "I wouldn't want that giant angry at me. He is very scary mofo and Abigail isn't here to control him."

WATERS:  "Rockostein has to be happy that all this chaos has distracted from the announcement of the bounty on his head."

MARX:  "Knowing these guys, they haven't forgotten, they are just waiting for the most opportune time to cash in."

JACOBS:  "Black Lantern Striker, Jeff Jorgenson, and Aran Dishon decide to team up attack JXG from behind and JXG breaks his choke on HAL! Daymon and Jason Payne are working over Problem Child in the corner!"

MARX:  "Jeff Jorgenson and Striker make a hell of a combo."

WATERS:  "The two smaller guys are watching each other's back."

JACOBS:  "JXG GRAB BOTH STRIKER AND OLD SAINT NICK JEFF JORGENSON BY THE HEAD AND HE HEADBUTTS BOTH OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME! JXG glares over at Aran Dishon... AND ARAN DISHON STARTS STOMPING AWAY ON STRIKER AND OLD SAINT NICK JEFF JORGENSON!"

WATERS:  "If you can't beat'em, join them!"

MARX:  "I can't say I wouldn't do the same if I was in there with that Chinese Giant."

JACOBS:  "JGX looks over to the corner and sees the former New ERA World Heavyweight champion beating on Daymon, he rubs his fingers together and he comes up from behind on Daymon and hits him with a forearm smash right to the back of the head and Daymon goes down."

MARX:  "Rockostein is in for a lot of hurt."

JACOBS:  "Aran Dishon keeps stomping away but Jeff Jorgenson is SANTAING UP! Striker gets up as well.... JEFF JORGENSON WHIPS ARAN DISHON OFF THE ROPES AND JORGENSON AND STRIKER TEAM UP WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE AND ARAN DISHON GOES OVER THE TOP ROPE AND CRASHES ONTO THE FLOOR!"

LINKS:  "ARAN DISHON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

WATERS:  "We are down to seven men!"

JACOBS:  "JEFF JORGENSON AND STRIKER GO OVER TO HELP DAYMON OUT AND THEY ATTACK JXG AGAIN FROM BEHIND! A distracted JXG turns around and NOW ALL THREE MEN ARE TRYING TO LIFT JXG UP AND OVER THE TOP ROPE BUT THEY ARE HAVING TROUBLE GETTING HIS TREE TRUNK LIKE LEGS UP! Payne and Problem Child are going at it in the corner and HAL is finally getting up and headed over to help the gang trying to eliminate the giant!"

MARX:  "There is a lot of action going on, these matches can get very confusing because you never know which way to look."

JACOBS:  "JXG IS STRUGGLING TO BREAK FREE AND HE DOES! HE STARTS DELIVERING OVERHEAD CHOPS TO EVERYONE AROUND AND THEY EACH GO DOWN LIKE A BRICK LIVING STRIKER AND JGX.... JGX GOES FOR A CHOP BUT STRIKER JUMPS UP FOR A FRANKESTEINER ON JGX AND TAKES DOWN THE CHINESE GIANT!"

CROWD:  "STRIKER! STRIKER! STRIKER!"

MARX:  "The fans are getting behind the old timer!"

JACOBS:  "JGX gets up slowly and STRIKER GRABS THE ARM OF JXG AND TRIES TO CHICKEN WIN HIM! Jeff Jorgenson is telling him to hold JGX so he can hit him with the superkick.... JGX POWERS STRIKER IN FROM OF HIM AND JEFF JORGENSON HITS HIM WITH A SUPERKICK AND THE MOMENTUM SENDS STRIKER STAGGERING AND UP AND OVER THE TOP ROPE!"

LINKS:  "STRIKER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

MARX:  "Poor Striker, it would have been one hell of a story if he came back after over ten years plus and won a shot at the Rumble. You never know though, he may be back again one day and get that championship shot."

WATERS:  "We are down to six men now!"

JACOBS:  "Jorgenson is apologizing to Striker.... JGX CHARGES JEFF JORGENSON WITH A CLOTHESLINE BUT JEFF JORGENSON HOLDS ONTO THE ROPES AND JGX DOESN'T NOTICE! JEFF JORGENSON SKINS THE CAT AND WINDS UP BACK IN!"

MARX:  "Old Saint Nick doesn't want to disappoint the kids. He wants to win the battle royal and bring the championship home for all the good children in the audience."

JACOBS:  "THE MARXIST PROBLEM GETS JXG TO TURN AROUND AND THE TWO REDS GRAB OLD SAINT NICK JEFF JORGENSON BY THE THROAT AND CHOKESLAM HIM OUT OF THE RING!"

WATERS:  "HA! THE COMMUNISTS HAVE KILLED CHIRSTMAS!"

MARX:  "Awwww..."

LINKS:  "JEFF JORGENSON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

WATERS:  "Now we are down to five! They are dropping like flies!"

MARX:  "The presence of JGX is controlling this match. Everything that has happened in this match is because he is there."

JACOBS:  "JGX looks over at Rockostein catching his breath in the corner and sees the $50,000 in cash in his eyes. Meanwhile, Jason Payne and HAL are working over Problem Child on the other side of the ring."

MARX:  "That is a New ERA Porsche for Abigail."

JACOBS:  "ROCKO DECIDES HE IS NOT GOING TO WAIT FOR JGX! HE CHARGES JGX AND HE NAILS JGX WITH A DISCUS PUNCH AND JGX SEEMS LIKE HE HAS BEEN STUNNED!"

WATERS:  "It is going to take a lot of abuse to knock the giant out and then a lot of man power to get him over the top rope."

JACOBS:  "ROCKO DAYMON STARTS HITTING THE GIANT WITH LEFT JABS BACK HIM TOWARDS THE ROPES! HAL sees that Daymon has some momentum going on the giant and he goes to help him out."

MARX:  "In a battle royal, you have forge temporary alliances even if you don't like a guy sometimes to get a job done and this is a dirty job that even Mike Rowe wouldn't take."

JACOBS:  "HAL RUNS AT JGX AND HITS HIM WITH A RUNNING SHOULDER BLOCK AND HIS KNEES BEGIN TO WOBBLE BACKWARDS.... ROCKO DAYMON BOUNCES OFF THE ROPES AND HE TAKES JGX OVER THE TOP ROPE WITH A LARIAT!"

LINKS:  "JGX HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

CROWD:  "ROCKO! ROCKO! ROCKO!"

MARX:  "The giant is out and now the battle can begin. Any one of these four men could challenge Shawn Hart for the New ERA World Heavyweight Championship at Winter Wonderland."

JACOBS:  "Battle lines are starting to form and HAL is standing by the side of Rocko Daymon and Problem Child and Jason Payne, the two possible partners for Cameron Cruise in the Russian Roulette tournament seem to have called a ceasefire for a common cause."

MARX:  "This just shows the lengths that Problem Child is willing to go to get a chance at the World Heavyweight Championship."

JACOBS:  "HAL CHARGES JASON PAYNE AND STARTS BEATING THE HOLY HELL OUT OF HIM BUT JASON PAYNE FIRES BACK WITH SHOTS OF HIS OWN! Rocko and Problem Child are going at it!"

WATERS:  "Jason Payne has come a long way since losing the PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme championship and he would like nothing more than to redeem himself and win the gold once again."

JACOBS:  "JASON PAYNE WHIPS HAL OFF OF THE ROPES, HE CATCHES HAL WITH A SPINE BUSTER! Now Payne is going over to help Problem Child work over Daymon..."

WATERS:  "You would think that both of these men want the bounties for themselves. I wonder how things will go come elimination time."

JACOBS:  "Payne grabs of the arm of Daymon... HE IRISH WHIPS DAYMON INTO PROBLEM CHILD AND PROBLEM CHILD JUMPS UP AND CLOCKS DAYMON WITH A KNEE!"

MARX:  "That is enough to knock a regular man down. But Daymon is as tough as they come..."

JACOBS:  "PROBLEM CHILD AND JASON PAYNE CHARGE DAYMON WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE BUT DAYMON DUCKS! Problem Child and Jason Payne turn around.... DOUBLE DDT!"

CROWD:  "ROCKO! ROCKO! ROCKO!"

MARX:  "This crowd sure does love him."

JACOBS:  "Rocko is standing over Payne and Problem Child.... HAL COMES FROM BEHIND AND HE SPINS ROCKO DAYMON AROUND AND HITS HIM WITH A POWERBOMB!"

MARX:  "He crashed onto the mat with so much, he bounced back up a good distance. HAL may be the most powerful wrestler in WFW:NE right now."

JACOBS:  "HAL goes to pick Rocko Daymon up off the mat to eliminate him... BUT PROBLEM CHILD GRABS THE LEG OF HAL TO PREVENT HIM FROM DOING SO!"

MARX:  "Problem Child needs that money to pay back all those royalties from the names he dropped hyping this match."

JACOBS:  "JASON PAYNE COMES UP FROM BEHIND HAL AND HITS HIM WITH A FULL NELSON SLAM.... PAYNEKILLER AND HAL IS OUT OF IT!"

WATERS:  "If I didn't know better, I would think Problem Child and Jason Payne were working together, did hell freeze over?"

JACOBS:  "Problem Child and Jason Payne pick Rocko Daymon up... AND THEY THROW HIM OVER THE TOP, BUT DAYMON GOES OVER AND IS STILL TRYING TO HOLD ON! Both Problem Child and Jason Payne START KICKING AWAY AT DAYMON TO GET HIM TO DROP AS THEY ARE LAYING IT LOUD SOCCER KICKS WITH ALL THEIR MIGHT..... DAYMON FINALLY DROPS TO THE FLOOR!"

LINKS:  "ROCKO DAYMON HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

WATERS:  "We are down to the final three!"

MARX:  "Who eliminated Rocko there?"

JACOBS:  "Problem Child and Jason Payne are ARGUING over the $50,000 reward for eliminating Daymon! Problem Child gives in and points to HAL saying that is what they are fight for now and the best way to achieve their goal is to team up! Payne turns around and looks at HAL who is moving away from both of them on his back..."

MARX:  "HAL is in serious trouble, this two against one!"

JACOBS:  "PROBLEM CHILD SPINS JASON PAYNE AROUND AND HE KICKS HIM IN THE GUT, HE LIFTS HIM UP AND HE HITS HIM WITH A SPINNING TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER DDT (THE A.D.D.)!"

WATERS:  "OOOOH!"

JACOBS:  "Problem Child picks Jason Payne up by the hair... AND HE DUMPS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!"

LINKS:  "JASON PAYNE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

MARX:  "He keeps on getting closer and closer to that world championship dream, one day, he is going to get there."

JACOBS:  "IT DOWN TO PROBLEM CHILD AND HAL! ONE MAN IS GOINT TO WINTER WONDERLAND!"

MARX:  "The question is... who is going to be?"

JACOBS:  "AN IRATE JASON PAYNE JUST SPIT INTO THE RING AT PROBLEM CHILD AND PROBLEM CHILD TURNS AROUND TO ARGUE WITH JASON PAYNE! Jason Payne puts his chin forward and PROBLEM CHILD TAKES A SWING PUT JASON PAYNE GRABS THE ARM OF PROBLEM CHILD!"

WATERS:  "NO! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO!"

JACOBS:  "HAL COMES UP FROM BEHIND AND HE GRABS THE LEGS OF PROBLEM CHILD UP IN THE AIR AS JASON PAYNE PULLS PROBLEM CHILD OUT! Problem Child crashes down on the floor!"

(SFX: Bell rings.)

LINKS:  "PROBLEM CHILD HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH AND THE MAN WHO WILL GO ON TO FACE SHAWN HART AT WINTER WONDERLAND, Harold A. Lumborugh.... OTHERWISE KNOWN AS...... HAL!"

MARX:  "I can't believe HAL did it."

WATERS:  "HAL is motioning that the New ERA World Heavyweight Championship is going to be around his waist come Unplugged!"

JACOBS:  "AN INSENSED PROBLEM CHILD JUMPS ON JASON PAYNE AND HE IS POUNDING ON HIM WITH CLOSED FISTS! Security is coming to break these two up! While security is breaking up the brawl, let’s go backstage right now for an interview with an equally upset Jared Wells!"


Daddy's Unhappy!

(CUTTO:  Backstage. Jared Wells stands in front of the camera.)

WELLS:  "You know right about now I'm supposed to be celebrating my win in the WFW:NE Masquerade Battle Royal but that just isn't to be. WHY? Bell rings, and before I can even turn around I get jacked right out of the ring. Boy do we have a big FUCKING problem right about now because DADDY is not happy what so ever. The entire plan was own each and every person in this battle royal and go on to face Shawn Hart. HAL, who the FUCK is HAL? Pal, enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame while you got it because I'm coming hurt you. You want to cheap shot me? I'm going to cheap shot your soon forgotten career YA HEARD? I'm tired of these young FUCKS around here taking over."

(Pause.)

WELLS:  "I haven't been happy the way things have been running in WFW:NE and I think it’s time for some change around here. Daddy is going to spicin' up the activities and repair everything that is broken around here. We are going back to free ballin' and swinger parties. We are going back to school with a history lesson of Jared Wells 101. Bastard Son 101, DADDY 101. Time for me to go shopping and remodel this goddamn place like it once........."

(All of the sudden a mystery man hands over a letter to Jared Wells. Wells opens it up and reads the letter. The further he reads the more he smiles. He then balls up the letter and throws it behind him.)

WELLS:  "Well, it looks like what I said will be coming true. Things will change around here into what they used to be.........."

(Wells storms off.  The camera cuts back to ringside.)

JACOBS:  "Things look like they are going to be awfully interesting at Unplugged. Folks, we have to take a commercial break, when we comeback, it is time to Spin the Wheel and Make the Deal!"


( continued... )