JACOBS: "The following match is tonight’s MAIN EVENT ……. And is a LADDER MATCH FOR THE NEW ERA OF WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!"
(SFX: Crowd pops huuuuuuuuuuuuuge!)
JACOBS: "Introducing first … the challenger…"
(CUEUP: ‘Shapes of Things’ by the Jeff Healey Band as Jean Rabesque comes onto the rampway to the serenade of the fans … he shows no ill signs from the attack earlier tonight.)
JACOBS: "He hails from MONTREAL, QUEBEC, CANADA ….. standing six foot one and weighing 245 pounds ……. JEAN RABESQUE!"
(Rabesque walks down the rampway … and walks past the ladder which is standing in the middle. He doesn’t even look at it, keeping his eyes focused on where the World Heavyweight championship will be elevated in the air.)
JACOBS: "And his opponent…."
(CUEUP: ‘Karma’ by Diffuser as the fans give both pops and heat to Tact.)
JACOBS: "From Manhattan, New York ……. He stands six foot six …. And weighs 252 pounds ……… THE CURRENT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION …… LARRY TACT!"
(Tact walks down the rampway with the championship over his shoulder … a referee tries to take it from him but he raises his hand as if he was going to strike them.)
JIVE: "And Tact doesn’t want to relinquish the championship just yet!"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact enters the ring …. And he is telling the referee that HE is going to put it on the ring …. And that when this is all done … HE is going to be the one taking it off!"
(Tact hooks the World Heavyweight championship on the ring … as soon as he secure it, the championship begins its ascent into the air.)
GHEORGHE: "Tact and Rabesque both watching the championship…"
(SFX: Bell rings.)
GHEORGHE: "AND JEAN RABESQUE WASTES NO TIME IN ELBOWING TACT IN THE FACE! Jean Rabesque with Larry Tact’s head …. AND HE RAMS HIS HEAD INTO THE CORNER TURNBUCKLE!"
JIVE: "Thank God we had the ring crew replace the two turnbuckles .. or else the ring could have collapsed!"
GHEORGHE: "Rabesque repeatedly bashing Tact’s head into the corner … Tact now walking out of the corner … AND RABESQUE FOLLOWS HIM OUT AND BULLDOGS HIM TO THE MAT!"
JIVE: "Jean Rabesque taking advantage early in this match .. I’m sure he wants to try to incapacitate him as quickly as he can to get to the ladder!"
GHEORGHE: "Both men were attacked tonight .. and I’m sure that those injuries, however well hidden, are going to weigh heavily on their bodies here."
JIVE: "But Jean Rabesque is 41 years old .. he may have defied time for this long .. but Tact is younger .. stronger … and a reigning World Champion!!"
GHEORGHE: "Jean Rabesque now up .. and he is viciously kicking Tact in the side …"
JIVE: "Look at that!"
JIVE: "Cindy Winsted is sitting front row! She’s here to support her man!"
GHEORGHE: "Yes.. there she is! Wait … look who is sitting behind her!"
(CUTTO: Cindy Winsted looking on anxiously … Jared Wells is sitting behind her, a beer in both hands.)
JIVE: "RAGE O FIRE…. The current BAD World Champion is here! We haven’t seen him in a New ERA ring since his loss to John Doe in the TV championship tournament!"
GHEORGHE: "Destrucity will bring the moles outta their holes, Nick… and Jean Rabesque is now on the mat … and he is rubbing Tact’s face in the mat!! Jean Rabesque is a lot more aggressive than we’ve seen him in the past. He knows how important this match is!"
JIVE: "But does he have it in him to win the CHAMPIONSHIP? I don’t think he does, Tom!"
GHEORGHE: "Rabesque now picking up Tact …. BUT TACT RAKES THE EYES!! Larry Tact behind Jean Rabesque now ….. AND HE BRINGS HIM TO THE MAT WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX! The crowd is trying to get behind Rabesque here … and some are even booing the World Champion!"
JIVE: "Cindy Winsted is looking around trying to wonder why they are booing him .. and Jared Wells is DOUBLE FISTING!"
GHEORGHE: "Well.. I’d imagine the only double fisting going on right now is in MWG’s lockerroom…. But leave it up to Wells to prove me wrong!"
JIVE: "Awww man, Tom … stop it … I’m trying to forget that."
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact now grabbing the leg of Jean Rabesque .. and he drives the knee into the mat! The World Champion AGAIN driving the knee of Jean Rabesque into the mat! He is working over the legs of the challenger …"
JIVE: "A man who can’t walk .. can’t climb a 23-24 foot ladder and then have to reach another 6 or so feet to get the championship!"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact picking Jean Rabesque off the ground …. AND NOW HE LOCKS RABESQUE IN A BEAR HUG!! Jean Rabesque clenching his fists as Tact is trying to squeeze the air out of him …….. AND LARRY TACT CHARGES INTO THE CORNER AND DRIVES THE BACK OF RABESQUE INTO THE TURNBUCKLES!!"
JIVE: "Tact is a changed man, I tell you …. There’s just something about him that makes you want to love the guy."
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact now placing Jean Rabesque on the top rope ……. AND TACT IS GOING UP TOP AS WELL!!"
JIVE: "A superplex should give Tact enough time to get the ladder.."
GHEORGHE: "Tact hooking the arm ….. BUT RABESQUE IS BLOCKING!! Tact tries again… AND AGAIN RABESQUE BLOCKS! Rabesque rearranges the arm situation … AND NOW RABESQUE IS TRYING TO SUPERPLEX TACT TO THE ARENA FLOOR!!!"
JIVE: "That would KILL Tact’s chances of retaining … and could even kill him!"
GHEORGHE: "RABESQUE HAS HIM UP …. NO! TACT BLOCKS ….. HOOKS THE ARMS OF RABESQUE AND BRINGS HIM DOWN WITH A BELLY TO BELLY SUPERPLEX!!!!! BOTH MEN ARE LYING ON THE MAT!"
CROWD: "N . E . W ! N . E . W !"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact is trying to turn himself around …. AND HE IS LOOKING OUTSIDE AT THE LADDER! Jean Rabesque is not moving …. AND LARRY TACT IS CRAWLING TOWARDS THE ROPES!"
JIVE: "Larry Tact just tumbled himself out of the ring!"
GHEORGHE: "Tact slowly getting to his feet as he approaches the ladder… he puts one support beam up ….. but he’s having problems with the second, Nick!"
JIVE: "And Rabesque is starting to move!"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact is now banging on the underneath of the second support …. And look at how red his wrist is getting!"
JIVE: "Yea .. you don’t want to fuck with a steel ladder, Tom … he better watch out or he may just break the skin."
GHEORGHE: "JEAN RABESQUE HAS ROLLED OUT OF THE RING … and HE IS STALKING UP TO THE WORLD CHAMP!"
JIVE: "Come on Tact! Use your Spidey-sense!"
GHEORGHE: "RABESQUE GRABS TACT’s HEAD AND HE HITS HIM FACE FIRST IN THE LADDER!"
GHEORGHE: "And …. Now Rabesque pushes down on the center of the support beam…. AND HE PROPS IT RIGHT UP!"
JIVE: "I guess Tact should have read the owner’s guide.."
GHEORGHE: "Jean Rabesque folding the ladder up ….. AND HE IS CARRYING IT TO THE RING!"
JIVE: "Well.. partway to the ring."
GHEORGHE: "Rabesque lies the ladder down on the arena floor … and he is walking back to TACT! Rabesque brings Tact over to the ladder ….. he hooks the waist ….. AND JEAN RABESQUE JUST SUPLEXED THE CHAMPION ON TOP OF THE LADDER ON THE ARENA FLOOR!!!"
JIVE: "It was only a matter of time before this match was going to degenerate into a ladder love fest!"
GHEORGHE: "Jean Rabesque now picking up Larry Tact ….. AND NOW HE BODYSLAMS HIM ONTO THE LADDER!!! Rabesque is lying Tact lengthwise ….. AND HE IS GOING BACK TO THE RING!"
JIVE: "Rabesque … you need the LADDER to get to the championship…"
GHEORGHE: "Jean Rabesque ……. OH MY GOD …. JEAN RABESQUE IS CLIMBING UP TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!"
JIVE: "HAS HE LOST HIS MIND?"
GHEORGHE: "Rabesque flies off ………. AND HE NAILS A FLYING ELBOW DROP FROM THE TOP TURNBUCKLE ALL THE WAY TO THE ARENA FLOOR!!! Rabesque just drilled that elbow into Tact who was lying on top of the ladder!!"
JIVE: "Nothing will be held back! Rabesque hardly EVER likes to venture off the ground!"
GHEORGHE: "Rabesque slowly getting up … and Tact .. Tact is barely breathing! Rabesque rolls Tact off the ladder …. AND HE IS SETTING IT UP TO GO IN THE RING…. Rabesque props the ladder up against the side of the ring … and now he hops in the ring ….. Rabesque pulling the ladder over the ropes ….. WAIT … THE LADDER IS STUCK ….. LARRY TACT’s RIGHT FOOT IS STUCK IN THE BOTTOM RUNG OF THE LADDER!"
JIVE: "And look at Rabesque! He is pissed!"
GHEORGHE: "Rabesque rolls underneath the bottom rope and he unhooks Tact’s leg …. AND KICKS HIM IN THE ASS!!! Jean Rabesque rolls back in the ring AND HE SETS THE LADDER UP!!! RABESQUE IS ASCENDING THE LADDER!"
JIVE: "Rabesque must have failed geometry … because I think the ladder is too far to the left for him to get the championship.."
GHEORGHE: "Rabesque is near the very top of the ladder ….. he reaches out ….. HIS FINGERTIPS ARE TOUCHING THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP …. BUT HE IS TOO FAR TO THE LEFT!"
JIVE: "Man its tough always being right.."
GHEORGHE: "Can it, Nick… Rabesque slams his hand on the ladder …….. AND NOW THE LADDER IS ROCKING BACK AND FORTH!!! RABESQUE WITH A LOOK OF TERROR IN HIS EYES AS THE LADDER FALLS FORWARD…."
CROWD: "N . E . W ! N . E . W !"
GHEORGHE: "AND JEAN RABESQUE FALLS WITH THE LADDER AND GETS SHOT TO THE OUTSIDE! Both men are lying on the outside … albeit opposite sides of the ring!"
JIVE: "And the ladder is resting against the ropes!"
GHEORGHE: "The World champion is starting to stir!!!"
JIVE: "But so isn’t Rabesque!"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact with both hands on the apron … and he pulls himself up! He looks in the ring and sees the ladder … but no Rabesque! AND NOW HE IS WALKING AROUND TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RING AFTER RABESQUE!"
JIVE: "Jean has his back turned!"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact grabs a chair from a fan ……… AND HE CHARGES AT RABESQUE AND CLOCKS HIM SQUARE IN THE BACK!!! JEAN RABESQUE GOES DOWN LIKE A TON OF BRICKS!"
JIVE: "Now’s your chance!"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact is now setting up the chair ….. he picks up Jean Rabesque …… OH MY LORD … TACT JUST GERMAN SUPLEXED JEAN RABESQUE RIGHT INTO THE SET UP CHAIR AND THE CHAIR JUST BROKE INTO TWO PIECES!"
JIVE: "The Champion wants to make sure he can inflict as much damage as humanly possible before retaining the championship … that way, at least he can practically maim him and have it be totally legal."
GHEORGHE: "I think you’re right, Nick.. Larry Tact is rolling Jean Rabesque into the ring … Larry Tact is now setting up the ladder in the corner … and he is up after Rabesque… Larry Tact takes Rabesque in the other corner ….. AND HE IRISH WHIPS HIM AND RABESQUE GOES BACK FIRST INTO THE LADDER!! Jean Rabesque falls to the mat …….. AND THE LADDER FALLS ON TOP OF HIM!"
JIVE: "Now! Go, Larry, Go!"
GHEORGHE: "With Rabesque in the center of the ring …. Larry Tact is setting up the ladder! Tact is going to try to get the World Heavyweight championship while his challenger is knocked out underneath him! Tact setting up the ladder ……. He sets up one side ……. Then the other ……. AND NOW LARRY TACT IS MAKING HIS WAY UP THE LADDER!"
JIVE: "HE’s GOING TO RETAIN THE CHAMPIONSHIP!"
GHEORGHE: "The World Champion is halfway there …. He reaches up …. But he’s too low … Tact puts his hand back … BUT THE LADDER IS SLIPPERY FROM BOTH HIS AND RABESQUE’s SWEAT AND HE MISSES THE RUNG!! LARRY TACT CRASHES TO THE MAT!"
GHEORGHE: "Rabesque has caught a break and he can’t capitalize on it!"
JIVE: "God damn it .. the referee should disqualify Rabesque for making the ladder slippery!"
GHEORGHE: "Jean Rabesque and Larry Tact are both starting to move now! Tact is using the ropes to get to his feet … and Jean Rabesque is using the ladder! BOTH MEN ARE ON THEIR FEET!!! Tact comes to meet Rabesque … AND TACT WITH PUNCHES TO THE JAW OF RABESQUE!!! JEAN RABESQUE NOW RETURNING THOSE PUNCHES AND THEY ARE GOING BACK AND FORTH …. BACK AND FORTH!"
JIVE: "Maybe the ring will explode and take out Rabesque!"
GHEORGHE: "The explosives were last match between Chaos and Spectre, Nick… but Rabesque seesm to be getting the upper hand! Rabesque with an uppercut now! Jean Rabesque WITH AN IRISH WHIP AND HE IRISH WHIPS TACT INTO THE STANDING LADDER!!! TACT AND THE LADDER GO DOWN HARD!"
JIVE: "Oh no!"
GHEORGHE: "Jean Rabesque walks over to the ladder now … and he takes a look at Tact… Rabesque now setting the ladder up……. AND he re-tightens the security beam…. AND NOW RABESQUE IS BEGINNING HIS ASCENT UP THE LADDER AGAIN!"
JIVE: "Come on TACT! GET UP!"
GHEORGHE: "RABESQUE IS NOW HALFWAY UP THE LADDER ….. RABESQUE BEGINS TO REACH .. but he knows he can’t get it …. AND RABESQUE IS CLIMBING CLOSER AND CLOSER …."
JIVE: "Tact is beginning to move!"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact looks up and sees Rabesque only three steps away …. RABESQUE’s FINGERS GRAZE THE CHAMPIONSHIP! AND TACT IS ON HIS FEET!!! LARRY TACT RUNS FULL SPEED INTO THE LADDER AND RABESQUE COMES TUMBLING OFF!!!"
CROWD: "N . E . W ! N . E . W !"
GHEORGHE: "Jean Rabesque falls into the corner …. AND HE IS SLUMPED IN THE CORNER!! The ladder falls right at his feet …. And Larry Tact is holding his shoulder! BUT TACT CHARGES IN ………… AND NAILS JEAN RABESQUE WITH A CLOTHESLINE IN THE CORNER!"
JIVE: "Even after all this punishment, Tact is still in control!"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact ….. HE JUST DUMPED JEAN RABESQUE OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! Larry Tact and Jean Rabesque are bringing their brawl back to the arena floor!"
JIVE: "I would have ran to the ladder and thrown all caution to the wind, if I were him!"
GHEORGHE: "Well you’re not … so stop fantasizing, Nick!"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact on his hands and knees … AND TACT IS LOOKING UNDER THE RING FOR SOMETHING TO HIT RABESQUE WITH!"
JIVE: "He knows that there were worker crews under there before his match … he must be hoping one left a wrench or something!"
GHEORGHE: "Jean Rabesque is starting to regain a sense of where he is …. And Larry Tact …….. LARRY TACT PULLED OUT A FIRE EXTINGUISHER AND JUST COVERED RABESQUE WITH THE CONTENTS!"
JIVE: "Fire extinguisher fluid is UNPLEASANT ….. it stings because its so cold on the skin … and if you get any in your eyes … forget it!"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact tosses the extinguisher aside ….. and now he brings Rabesque …. OH HELL NO …. THEY’re ON THEIR WAY OVER HERE, NICK!"
JIVE: "Where are the Spanish announcer’s and their table when you need them most?"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact now rolling Jean Rabesque onto the announcer table ….. AND HE HOPS ON, TOO!"
JIVE: "WAIT! LET ME GET MY POLAND SPRINGS!"
GHEORGHE: "LARRY TACT ….. LARRY TACT PILEDRIVES JEAN RABESQUE AND THEY GO CRASHING THROUGH THE TABLE!!"
CROWD: "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"
JIVE: "NOOOO! I didn’t get to get my water!!!"
GHEORGHE: "Both men are lying in the debris where our table once stood … and all you care about is your damn spiked water?"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact seems to be the first to move …. And he rolls out of the debris … Larry Tact is standing next to the ring … and he gives the thumbs up to Cindy Winsted! Larry Tact is going to end this match right here, right now!"
JIVE: "Good! Then he can afford to buy me some more Poland Spring!"
GHEORGHE: "Tact rolls into the ring… he now picks up the ladder and is setting it up. Tact noticing that it’s a bit too right … and he centers it … AND NOW LARRY TACT IS STANDING ON THE BOTTOM RUNGS!"
JIVE: "Larry Tact is looking down at Jean Rabesque who is beginning to move … and he is debating on whether he should take the chance and try to get the championship … or go disable Rabesque so it’s a sure thing!"
GHEORGHE: "AND TACT IS ONCE MORE HEADING TO THE OUTSIDE! Larry Tact does not want to risk not being able to get the championship ….. Tact over to Jean Rabesque ….. he picks him up …. BUT JEAN RABESQUE JABS A PIECE OF THE BROKEN TABLE INTO THE GUT OF LARRY TACT! LARRY TACT HAS BEEN BUSTED OPEN AND HE IS LOOKING DOWN WIDE EYED AS BLOOD IS NOW DRIPPING FROM A GASH!"
JIVE: "Damn that French Canadian!"
GHEORGHE: "Tact looks back up …. AND RABESQUE CLOBBERS HIM WITH A PIECE OF THAT HARD PLASTIC TOP!!! Jean Rabesque now rolls into the ring … AND HE IS HEADING FOR THE LADDER!"
JIVE: "He shouldn’t be too relaxed, because here comes the Champ!"
GHEORGHE: "Tact rolls in the ring right after him …. RABESQUE IS CLIMBING THE LADDER …….."
JIVE: "BUT SO ISN’T LARRY TACT!"
GHEORGHE: "They both stop midway up the ladder …. AND THEY’RE EXCHANGING BLOWS FROM AROUND THE SIDE!"
JIVE: "They shouldn’t put themselves at jeopardy by throwing off the balance of the ladder!"
GHEORGHE: "WAIT! Both men are now making their way to the top of the ladder …. BOTH LARRY TACT AND JEAN RABESQUE ARE STANDING ON THE SECOND TO LAST RUNG TO THE TOP OF THE LADDER!"
JIVE: "The WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP IS ONLY 5 FEET ABOVE THEIR HEADS!"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact with some lumbering rights ….. Jean Rabesque comes back with some rights of his own ….. AND LARRY TACT RAKES THE EYES OF JEAN RABESQUE!"
JIVE: "YES! ITS OVER!"
GHEORGHE: "NO! Jean Rabesque … in an act of DESPERATION GRABS AHOLD OF LARRY TACT ……… JEAN RABESQUE JUST SUPLEXED LARRY TACT OFF THE LADDER!!! JEAN RABESQUE IS ALONE AT THE TOP OF THE LADDER AS LARRY TACT HITS THE MAT!"
JIVE: "This can’t be happening!"
GHEORGHE: "But RABESQUE’s EYESIGHT ISN’T BACK YET! HE IS REACHING UP WITH ONE HAND TRYING TO FEEL AROUND FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP…"
(SFX: Immense booing.)
GHEORGHE: "WAIT A MINUTE! THAT PERSON IN BLACK THAT HAS BEEN HAUNTING BOTH MEN IS RUNNING DOWN THE RAMPWAY LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL!"
JIVE: "RABESQUE FEELS THE CHAMPIONSHIP!"
GHEORGHE: "The person in black slides into the ring ….. JEAN RABESQUE HAS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP IN HIS HAND AND LARRY TACT IS LOOKING UP AT THIS!!!! TACT MAKES A MOTION TO THE LADDER ……… BUT THE MAN IN BLACK SUPERKICKS THE LADDER AND THE LADDER FALLS OVER!!!!!!"
JIVE: "BUT RABESQUE PULLS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP DOWN WITH HIM!!!!! HOLY SHIT WE HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION!"
(SFX: Bell rings as Rabesque falls into the corner, the World Heavyweight championship falling next to him.)
JACOBS: "The winner of this match ………. And NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ……………. JEAN RABESQUE! "
GHEORGHE: "The figure in black was ONE second too late!! Larry Tact was ONE second too late…. And JEAN RABESQUE IS OUR NEW WORLD CHAMPION!"
JIVE: "AND LOOK AT TACT POINTING AT THE FIGURE IN BLACK!"
GHEORGHE: "Larry Tact is making a move at the man in black ……… AND THE MAN IN BLACK IS TAKING OFF HIS MASK!!!!!"
(SFX: Crowd gets silent…)
JIVE: "WHO IS IT!!! WHO HAS BEEN MASQUERADING AROUND INTERFERING IN RABESQUE AND TACT’s MATCHES?"
GHEORGHE: "THE MASK COMES OFF …………………………. WHAT IN THE HELL ………………. IT IS KARLA STARR!!! KARLA STARR WAS NEVER THE MAN IN BLACK …. SHE WAS THE WOMAN IN BLACK!!!"
JIVE: "What the fuck!?"
GHEORGHE: "Karla Starr has a huge smile on her face as Larry Tact just took about three steps backwards AND HE IS IN SHOCK!"
JIVE: "LOOK! Cindy Winsted is in shock! Larry Tact is shaking his head … he … is in utter shock!"
GHEORGHE: "WAIT A MINUTE! JEAN RABESQUE IS GETTING TO HIS FEET AND HE HAS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Rabesque is sneaking up behind Starr!!"
(SFX: Crowd pops)
JIVE: "SPECTRE IS RUNNING DOWN THE RAMPWAY!"
GHEORGHE: "SPECTRE SLIDES INTO THE RING …… SPECTRE TURNS JEAN RABESQUE AROUND ……… OH MY GOD …… BURNING HAMMER! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!"
JIVE: "Both Karla Starr and Larry Tact turn around ….. Spectre is now standing over Jean Rabesque ……. SPECTRE JUST RIPPED OFF HIS MASK!"
(SFX: Crowd explodes)
GHEORGHE: "SUICIDE! SUICIDE! SUICIDE NEVER LEFT NEW ERA!"
(The mask Spectre wore now reveals Suicide … not his typical self … but a new shorter haircut … and an eyepatch over his right eye. He turns around and looks at Starr ….)
JIVE: "AND NOW SUICIDE IS LOOKING AT STARR ….. TACT IS LOOKING AT STARR… I don’t think it has fully hit him yet!"
GHEORGHE: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ….. KARLA STARR IS THE MYSTERY MAN …. AND NOW SHE IS STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING …. WITH A HUGE SMILE ON HER FACE!!! WE ARE OUT OF TIME!!! THANK YOU ALL FOR JOINING US FOR NEW ERA’s FIRST PAY PER VIEW, DESTRUCITY!!!!!"
(FADEOUT: As Karla Starr is standing in the ring a smug smile spread across her face …. Larry Tact shaking his head slowly as he is staring at her, in awe.)