(FADEIN: New ERA of Wrestling President Marcus LaRoque’s office. Sitting behind the desk, wearing a dark suit, is LaRoque. His hands folded, he looks into the camera, the light causing his eyes to sparkle. On the bottom of the screen, the date says "May 13, 2009.")
LaROQUE: "Ladies and gentlemen, fans, I want to thank you all for waiting so patiently. As you may have recognized, New ERA of Wrestling’s last pay per view, BANNED in the US, has taken quite a long time to air. Little did we anticipate the irony behind the pay per view. After filming the pay per view and coming back to our headquarters here in Boston, we received a very strongly worded message from the Department of Homeland Security. New ERA had been banned, it seemed, from broadcasting the pay per view, from operating our promotion, and from commenting publicly about the situation by the United State government."
(He pauses, and grabs a letter from the top drawer of the desk.)
LaROQUE: "After almost two years, and an administration change, I am happy (pauses) honored to say that we have received word from the government that our ban has been lifted. It has been a long, painful time. We here at New ERA had so much more to offer in terms of both wrestling and entertainment."
LaROQUE: "Now … we’re back."
(LaRoque looks around his office, tapping the letter on his hand. He looks back at the camera.)
LaROQUE: "Things will be changing, as they do when you’re not allowed to promote. Talent has come and gone. Staff find other opportunities. We want to thank the people who participated at the pay per view, both fans and wrestlers alike, for maintaining the integrity of the results and not spreading them across the internet."
(He puts the letter back in the drawer and shuts it.)
LaROQUE: "So, without further adieux … I bring to you, two years later, in its entirety, New ERA of Wrestling’s BANNED in the US pay per view. Enjoy."
(The shot begins to fade out.)
LaROQUE: "And be prepared for what comes next."
(FADEIN: The side of a Carnival Conquest cruise ship. The camera slowly follows the side of the ship as it begins to rise to the top deck. CUTTO: The deck. Fans crowd around on bleachers and other seating arrangements on the cleared area. In the middle stands a ring. New ERA banners fly from the top of the ship as the camera continues to rise, following the largest flagpole. CUTTO: The top of the flag pole which is flying the banner for New ERA’s pay per view, BANNED in the US. On the top of the screen, for the first and only time, a black bar comes across with white type that says "RECORDED ON: August 12, 2007.")
(CUTTO: The far side of the deck where the announce table is set up along the railing. Dean Julius sits next to Nick Jive with Tom Gheorghe on the other side of Jive. They are chatting away and drinking what looks to be martinis as the sound finally kicks in.)
GHEORGHE: "Welcome everyone to BANNED in the US!! My name is Tom Gheorghe and with me, as always, is Nick Jive and Dean Julius.. and we are here in the Havana Harbor right outside of Havana, Cuba for today’s HUMONGOUS pay per view event!"
JIVE: "I don’t know about you guys, but I already can’t wait for this thing to be over … all this rocking back and forth is making my stomach churn."
JULIUS: "That or the fact that you’ve already polished off four martinis."
JIVE: "Hey! I can handle my liquor!"
JULIUS: "The only thing you can handle is a big coc…"
GHEORGHE: "What a lineup we have tonight!"
JULIUS: "You cut me off before I got to the punchline…"
JIVE: "He cut you off before you got punched is more like it."
GHEORGHE: "We are coming off the biggest event of the year as EPW and New ERA presented WrestleSTOCK from New Jersey .. and that event certainly has had lasting effects."
JULIUS: "We’ve got no World Tag Team champions … and TWO World Heavyweight champions! So, yea, I’d say it did."
GHEORGHE: "Indeed, Dean. The World Tag Team Championship finals ended in a double countout between The Inner Circle and Bored of Edukashun in New ERA’s main event on Day ONE … and on Day TWO, in the Dueling Ladders match .. well, let’s just say I never expected that to happen!"
JIVE: "Jonathan Marx always has an ace up his sleeve .. and even though it didn’t work out exactly as he planned, Marx is still lucky to be holding on to the New ERA World Heavyweight champion .. even if he’s one of two."
GHEORGHE: "New ERA had eight incredible matches at WrestleSTOCK .. including a Barbwire Baseball match between Chaos and the returning Trevor Cane for the PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme Championship."
JULIUS: "I’m still impressed with Cane’s new physique .. and watching that match, even though he ended up flat on his back again thanks to Chaos, he fought with a newfound fierceness."
GHEORGHE: "Chaos retaining the P©X Championship on Day ONE .. and then ended up turning heads in the #1 contender match on Day TWO as he turned the match between Jason Payne and Peter File into a 10,000 thumbtacks match!"
JIVE: "The P©X Championship, hell the whole division, is Chaos’ territory."
GHEORGHE: "Well Payne took it to File to become the #1 contender … all as Chaos watched on from ringside. Also on the line was the … World Hea… oh screw it.. the Television Championship as Mr. Entertainment retained in a hard fought battle against the 2006 Dupree Cup Most Valuable Wrestler, HAL."
JIVE: "It’s not the Television Championship, Gheorghe! It’s the ON TV Championship … and his other title is the World Heavyweight, Actually Defended, Actually Held Television Title!"
GHEORGHE: "I refuse to call it, them, whatever, those names."
JULIUS: "When you defeat the World Heavyweight champion you can call your championships whatever you damn well please."
GHEORGHE: "And speaking of the World Heavyweight Championship, Day TWO’s main event … the six man Dueling Ladders match .. and the conclusion that has definitely caused some heads to turn … There were only supposed to be two briefcases hanging above the ring .. but during the match, Brandon Jacobs dropped a third briefcase down .. which held what can only be assumed as a counterfeit World Heavyweight Championship belt…"
JIVE: "But the referee was too lazy to figure out which one was the real title, so he declared that there were TWO World Heavyweight champions!"
GHEORGHE: "Tact, Daymon and Marx were all on the ladders reaching for the briefcases … Larry Tact got the briefcase with the contract for the World Heavyweight Championship match for tonight … and it turned out that Jonathan Marx’s AND Daymon’s briefcases both held championship belts."
JULIUS: "Which is why tonight’s main event is an elimination match .. instead of the one on one affair that was SUPPOSED to happen."
GHEORGHE: "That’s right. The elimination match between Daymon, Marx and Tact… for the World Heavyweight Championship… and what a match that should be."
JIVE: "Larry Tact could become World Heavyweight champion .. and FORMER World Heavyweight Champion .. in the same match!"
GHEORGHE: "That’s right.. both belts are on the line during the match .. which means should Daymon or Marx be pinned first, they would lose their championship belt to the opponent who got the fall. Should Larry Tact pin Daymon, he would technically win Daymon’s World Heavyweight Championship. Which would also mean that should he be pinned, or in Marx’s case, submit, then he would lose that same championship."
JULIUS: "Daymon’s got a fire in him .. and maybe he’s been getting great makeup sex from Caitlyn, I dunno .. but I do know that he’s going to be gunning for whoever is remaining in that ring with him tonight .. which is why he’s my pick to walk out of here with the belt."
GHEORGHE: "Speaking of the World Heavyweight Championship, we’ll also see a special one night tournament between The Phantom Republican, Jean Rabesque and Shawn Jessica Hart, PhD to determine who will receive a championship shot at New ERA’s newest show New ERA: LIVE from…"
JIVE: "This show will mark New ERA’s first entry into "live" television … and we all know how live television can differ from taped delay. No chance of knowing what’s going to happen next."
GHEORGHE: "The first LIVE from… will come from Birmingham, Alabama … and one of those men will face off against the World Heavyweight champion. It’s split into two matches with the first two competitors randomly drawn … with the winner of that match going on to face the remaining challenger later in the evening."
JIVE: "It should be interesting.. I’d love to see The Phantom Republican and Jean Rabesque be the first two pulled out … they haven’t faced each other one on one since GOP defeated Rabesque for the World Heavyweight Championship."
GHEORGHE: "We’re also going to get a rematch of the Television Championship match from WrestleSTOCK ’07 as HAL and Mr. Entertainment lock horns once more .. this time they’re sanctioned to fight wherever they want, though!"
JULIUS: "HAL came close in his first encounter with Entertainment .. and knowing him, he’s probably boobytrapped the boat with electronic gadgets to catch the WHADAHTT Champion off guard."
GHEORGHE: "Also on the line tonight will be the PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme Championship .. and what a build up for that match! Jason Payne has really gone off the deep end!"
JIVE: "Payne’s TOO HOT for New ERA … and as much as I like Chaos .. and as much as he’s the epitome of the P©X Championship … I just can’t see him retaining tonight. He’s finally found his match in Jason Payne."
GHEORGHE: "This could possibly be the most violent match we’ve seen in New ERA’s history.."
JULIUS: "I don’t know, Gheorghe.. nothing could be more violent to the psyche than the Pole on the Pole match from Destrucity…"
GHEORGHE: "Oh stop it!"
JULIUS: "We’re not all Nick Jive, you know."
JIVE: "Right when you least expect it, Julius .. BAM!"
GHEORGHE: "Trevor Cane, Chaos’ opponent at WrestleSTOCK, will be in action in a Desert Death match against Jared Wells.. and the stipulations for this match are definitely intriguing to say the least."
JULIUS: "The less we talk about Jared Wells, the better then."
GHEORGHE: "As you might have seen there’s a second ring on the upper level of the Conquest, which by the way, is a fantastic liner… and that is where the Desert Death match will take place."
JIVE: "I took a look around … there were cacti, tons of sand, stickly bushes … and, get this .. a bucket of scorpions!"
JIVE: "I know!"
GHEORGHE: "Jeez Louise."
JULIUS: "Enough about Wells, what about the Walk the Plank match.. now there’s a match that I can’t wait to see. We can watch as John Doe is cast into the Havana Harbor .. hopefully never to be heard from again!"
JIVE: "Now only if we were lucky enough to cast you into the ocean…"
GHEORGHE: "John Doe has been on a mission to denigrate the female wrestlers here in New ERA ever since the two divisions merged …. and tonight Nakita Dahaka, the Dark Phenom, is looking to shut Doe up once and for all. There’s a scaffold set up over the side of the ship where they will fight it out .. and the first one dumped from the scaffold will be the loser…"
JULIUS: "Doe’s shark meat!"
GHEORGHE: "Are there even sharks at this time of the year down here?"
JULIUS: "I don’t know, I didn’t bother to check."
JIVE: "What a mighty fine journalist you make."
JULIUS: "Jive, stop hitting on me… I told you, I don’t swing your way."
GHEORGHE: "Doe’s teammate at WrestleSTOCK, Tina Davis will also be in one on one action as she takes on the newcomer Brandon Bray."
JIVE: "Bray calls himself the Georgia STAR … which means one of two things … he’s the best damn wrestler to come out of Georgia … or he actually graduated middle school and thus is the smartest man in the state."
GHEORGHE: "Bray has really impressed me from what I’ve seen leading up to tonight .. Tina Davis might find herself on the short side of the stick if she makes even one bad move."
JULIUS: "She’ll be flat on her back .. which from what I’ve heard, isn’t that unusual for her."
GHEORGHE: "You really are terrible, you know that?"
JULIUS: "Yea.. I do."
GHEORGHE: "We also have a debuting tag team in action tonight … Coolwhip and Lucky Charmz … they’re known as Whole Grain … and they’ll be taking on Jack n’ Hoff tonight in the squared circle."
JULIUS: "It’s the battle of the two worst named teams in history … with the winners taking claim to the title."
GHEORGHE: "Whole Grain is looking to get their first victory here in New ERA at tonight’s pay per view …"
JIVE: "So isn’t Jack n’ Hoff actually."
GHEORGHE: "You’re right … Jack n’ Hoff haven’t had much luck so far in New ERA .. and they’ll be looking to use the newcomers as a stepping stone to get into the World Tag Team Championship hunt."
JULIUS: "Well with the way the World Tag Team Championship tournament is going .. they could end up the champions tonight if they beat Whole Grain."
GHEORGHE: "And that leads us to tonight’s opening match .. the World Tag Team Championship finals … part DEUX!"
JIVE: "And as always in sequels they add the annoying extra characters that nobody really likes."
GHEORGHE: "I assume that you’re talking about Saviors of Wrestling?"
JIVE: "Don’t assume, Gheorghe … it makes an ass out of u ‘m me."
GHEORGHE: "Ladies and gentlemen … I am told that the ring has been completely set up on the water… so let’s cut over to the Havana Harbor … and get BANNED in the US officially underway!"